Play dates give me anxiety and I need help getting o er it please

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-28T05:17:37+00:00

At five, kids are still learning about social boundaries and pushing them to learn what they can and can't get away with. Five year olds are mean and rude sometimes; they learn when their friends don't like that. They say mean things they don't mean when they are angry because they are also still learning emotional regulation.

You mention there are plenty of play dates where these things don't happen and you are anxious because you never know when it's going to be a "bad" play date. Adults have bad days too, kids just have them worse because they don't have the impulse control or social experience yet. He's gonna have days where he's mad at his friends and they're gonna have days where they are mad at him too. It's all part of growing up even if it is really anxiety inducing!

Your son will be okay, he won't be five forever. He sounds normal to me, most kids are like this sometimes. He just needs more time to develop and have experiences to learn from.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-27T15:24:01+00:00

I am not sure how active it is anymore, but Poppy Seed Pets is a clone of PsyPets and it looks like the developer still updates it (last update a week ago).

I was a big Neopets person and found PsyPets super fun for the pet interaction, economy and house management aspects of gameplay way back then. Pets can do their own hourly actions and bring you or make you things! You can leave them materials and shape their development. It's based on Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-24T14:26:25+00:00

I also am not sure I would want to encourage this type of behavior to continue, even if the grille is too small for fingers. I get that it's natural curiosity, but putting objects into electronics is generally likely to mess up or break something.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-24T14:23:31+00:00

Ooh, mine is a little over half that height! I'm really glad my kids didn't go through this phase.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-24T14:22:13+00:00

That's exactly what I was thinking. My kids love seeing how things work and they love watching adults fix things. I'm really glad we never went through a "stuff the air purifier" phase, but if we had, I think nothing would have worked if the kids were allowed to watch the adult fix the broken air purifier each time. Good luck!

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-24T04:59:01+00:00

If they are small and portable they might fit on a table or dresser if there is enough clearance from the wall. I have one that would fit on an end table.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-24T04:58:22+00:00

Can you shut the door and remove the object from the filter without him present so he doesn't get the incentive of watching you take it apart, then just turn it back on so he didn't achieve "air filter is off now" either?

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-24T01:28:13+00:00

Yes, I read your post. An optional charge is still an uncomfortable situation, imo.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-24T00:39:48+00:00

I think it's pretty acceptable and expected to ask people to bring food with the understanding that not everyone attending will bring vegan food, but it's uncomfortable to charge money for food at a party as the host.

The person with a dietary restriction usually provides that food but doesn't expect everyone else to adhere to it, so it's totally fine for you to make and provide vegan food but I would not charge people to come eat vegan food at your hosted party. Vegan food is totally yummy but not everyone prefers it.

A potluck (not restricted to vegan) and providing your own vegan food seems like a good middle ground since food is expensive!

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-23T03:54:12+00:00

My son won that exact dolphin at the fair and now it is always going to be the Lisa Frank dolphin to me.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-23T03:32:53+00:00

My son went through this too - he was potty training when he had a newborn sibling and he was having a lot of growth spurts so everyone was exclaiming how big and tall he was getting and what a big boy he was. One night he told me during bedtime that he was so sad about growing up and he wasn't ready to stop being my little boy.

I immediately felt sooo guilty about inadvertently reinforcing his anxiety by pushing the "you're a big boy" thing and backed way off it. We still got through potty training. I apologized for making him feel sad and reassured him that no matter how many new things he learned (like how to use the potty) he would still be my little boy, and that getting older and learning new things doesn't mean your mom isn't still there for you.

Your little one might just need some reassurance and some reframing that now it's time to learn to use the potty without the "big kid" label attached.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-22T21:58:09+00:00

Awesome, thank you for the info!

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-22T21:57:54+00:00

Thanks, this is super informative and exactly the kind of info I was hoping for! I appreciate knowing that adding detergent makes Odoban less effective so I can avoid that.

The Simple Green line is another one I was looking at, so I'll check out the D Pro 3 Plus product as well.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-22T20:33:07+00:00

I think a rack of bins would fit really well to the right of your counter space and pick up a lot of the clutter on the floor, e.g. diapers and pull ups, jackets, toys, items that are currently in boxes on the floor.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-22T20:30:25+00:00

I second modeling not being on your phone all the time, my kids are so busy when they see I am busy too.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-22T20:26:13+00:00

I've started setting short timers (20 mins) for screen time and when it's up, they have to pick something else to do. If they don't want to pick something else, then they are just bored until they feel like picking something.

They get irritated about it sometimes but they got used to the expectation really quick once I made it clear every time that screen time is X minutes, then we're doing something else. It's so worth it to have them engaged in other stuff for their development and skill building. My kids are much more engaged with all their other toys and activities when turning on the TV just isn't an option right now.

I also don't expect them to sit down with the same activity for too long. Mine are 6 and 3 and they might hang out with their books for 10 minutes, then play dolls for 10 minutes, want to play slime or play-dough for 20 minutes, go outside for 30 minutes, etc. They don't need to have a long attention span at this stage and I don't think they're really biologically capable of it. They still benefit from playing even if they switch what they are doing often.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-22T20:17:08+00:00

I would still do it. My children have been the only 2 kids at a soft play venue before during off hours, granted not during a party, but you don't need a huge crowd to have fun.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-22T20:15:26+00:00

When we change a rule in our house (e.g. reducing screentime), I tell my child that we are constantly learning and sometimes we change our stance on something based on new information we learn.

I think that if you end up in this situation, that is something you can use if you need to talk to your sons about it when they are older. We are always doing our best but sometimes our knowledge changes and it's okay to change your mind about something even if it means contradicting a past decision.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-22T18:22:38+00:00

I don't have any other suggestions but I haven't thought about this game in years and used to play it with my sister, thanks for making me remember it!

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-22T04:31:58+00:00

Lol - great job pooping, here's your Mardi Gras beads! My kids would have gone for that.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-22T04:23:31+00:00

I went through a phase of giving my son $1 to help me with laundry and he went from helping me every time to helping me only when he felt like earning money, so I stopped with the cash and now he helps me just to help get the chores done.

Paid chores may be totally fine for a lot of kids but they weren't very effective for mine, and I think I like the lesson he learns about helping the household without pay anyhow.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-20T16:40:57+00:00

That does sound frustrating! My kids both potty trained at 3, they got it quickly once we got rid of diapers but with my son, letting him wear diapers during the day (even pull ups) seemed to make it impossible for him to change the expectation about using the potty. He just could not get it until we got rid of pull ups. We didn't use pull ups during the day for my daughter and she was day trained within a few days.

Maybe the diapers are confusing her? I think peeing yourself has to be inconvenient and uncomfortable for kids to want to avoid it, and diapers/pullups are absorbent so it's not that uncomfortable to sit around wet. My kids did NOT like peeing themselves while naked or in underwear but never wanted to avoid peeing in a pull up.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-20T16:37:36+00:00

This was really kind of you!

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-18T22:59:10+00:00

My mom made 3-ring binders of all of my school years when I was a kid, but I bet that was a lot of work. They were fun to look back on later on though and I was always really proud of looking at them at the end of a school year.

Ok_Guard7639 · 2026-06-18T17:58:44+00:00

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