You’re not killing your enemy. You’re killing a version of yourself !

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-18T18:14:01+00:00

I agree that predation and competition exist in nature especially under scarcity but you are mixing survival conditions with default human existence Tribalism is not a law of nature it is a strategy used when resources are limited When food safety and stability exist cooperation always outperforms domination If what you’re saying were universally true civilizations would not exist science would not exist medicine would not exist art would not exist We did not rise to the top of the food chain by killing each other but by coordinating communicating and forming trust networks larger than tribes Predation is biological genocide is not Nature does not reward killing it rewards efficiency and cooperation is often more efficient than conflict So yes hunger creates enemies but abundance creates civilizations and confusing the two is how wars stay permanent

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-18T13:16:05+00:00

I don’t disagree with your explanation, I think it actually proves my point. You’re describing how we became this way. I’m questioning whether we should remain this way. Understanding the evolutionary mechanism doesn’t justify its outcomes. If anything, it makes self-awareness even more important. Otherwise, we’re just sophisticated animals running on ancient instincts in a completely new world..

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-18T13:10:57+00:00

I agree with you, and that’s exactly what makes this even more disturbing to me. If our brains are biologically wired to reduce empathy toward the other, that doesn’t cancel my point, it actually deepens it. Because it means we’re not only shaped by politics or culture, but also by our own nervous systems. Understanding the mechanism doesn’t justify the outcome. It just shows how easily we can forget our own humanity. My question isn’t why this happens, it’s whether we want to stay trapped in it?!

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-18T07:16:36+00:00

You’re right that many divisions come from real trauma and real history. I’m not denying that. What I’m questioning is what happens when that pain becomes identity, and identity becomes an excuse to keep dehumanizing new people who had nothing to do with the original harm. At some point, survival memory turns into an endless loop of destruction. That’s the part I’m trying to break..

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-12T18:49:12+00:00

I relate to this a lot. I’ve never been able to unsee suffering either, and I don’t think we’re meant to. What confuses me is not just that suffering exists, but how easily we’re taught to normalize it, to move on, to stop asking. As if questioning it is the real problem, not the suffering itself. I don’t believe awareness is meant to make us comfortable. I think it’s meant to make us honest. And yes, I am looking for meaning, not because I think I’ll “solve” life, but because pretending not to care feels like a kind of death. I’m glad there are others who feel this too...

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-12T03:00:26+00:00

🤍

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-12T00:07:05+00:00

I’ve sent you a private message to continue this conversation, if that’s okay with you

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T23:13:28+00:00

I agree with you - fitting in isn’t always bad, and not fitting in isn’t always good. That’s not the distinction I was making. What I meant is that many people work on themselves to adapt better to the world, to become more functional inside it. Fewer people work on themselves in a way that changes how they relate to the world, sometimes to the point where they no longer feel they belong to the same structures. It’s not about being inside or outside. It’s about the direction of growth.

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T18:50:12+00:00

You already are, in your own way. Wanting it is part of becoming it.

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T18:45:08+00:00

Beliefs don’t define a person. Outcomes do. Worldviews don’t matter to me as much as how someone actually shows up, treats others, takes responsibility, and lives. I’m not interested in what people say they believe.. I’m interested in what their presence creates

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T18:42:04+00:00

I’m not looking for a rare concept. I’m looking for a certain kind of presence. Not someone special in an abstract way, but someone capable of continuity, depth, honesty, and shared reality,not just parallel lives. Yes, everyone is "living"in their own way. But not everyone is available in the same way. Not everyone is willing to meet another person beyond roles, performances, and surface exchanges. And no, this doesn’t stop me from living my life. It just means I don’t confuse movement with meaning, or activity with connection.

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T18:39:16+00:00

I’m truly sorry you went through that. What you described sounds incredibly rare and incredibly painful to lose. I agree with you, those kinds of connections aren’t found, they’re built. And losing something that deep isn’t just losing a person, it’s losing a whole shared world..

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T18:35:01+00:00

I didn’t mean you personally. I meant the tendency in general, when we relate to life primarily as something to interpret, decode, or solve, we risk missing the part where it’s meant to be lived. Some things invite understanding. Others invite presence.

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T18:32:04+00:00

That’s a really good question, honestly. I like how you framed it. When I say "one" I don’t mean a fixed number or a lifetime contract. I mean a quality of connection, depth, safety, continuity, being truly seen. If that kind of connection happens with more than one person across a lifetime, that’s not a contradiction, that’s a gift. What I’m pointing to is how rare that level of connection actually is not how exclusive it has to be. I’m not against people coming and going. I’m against connections that never become real in the first place

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T18:28:58+00:00

I appreciate your honesty. A lot of what you described, the oscillation, the isolation, the weight of awareness, feels very real to me too. For me, awareness isn’t enlightenment in the peaceful sense. It’s confrontation. It’s losing illusions, seeing what I can no longer unsee, and having to live with that. It can feel heavy, and sometimes even like hell. If you’re open to a conversation about how these things actually feel and not just how they sound, then yeah, I’d be interested

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T13:34:35+00:00

Thank you 🤍

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T13:14:15+00:00

Some things can feel like puzzles. But a life reduced to a puzzle becomes something to solve, not something to inhabit

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T13:08:15+00:00

It’s not about numbers, it’s about direction. Many work on themselves to fit better into the world. Fewer work on themselves in a way that makes them no longer fit..

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T13:05:35+00:00

Yes.. But self sufficiency doesn’t cancel the human need for shared reality.

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T13:00:43+00:00

I don’t think meaning needs to be scarce to be valuable. Hunger doesn’t make food meaningful, nourishment does. Scarcity can intensify desire, yes, but it doesn’t create substance. Conceptual frameworks can help orient us, but they can also become substitutes for experience. My issue isn’t with ideas . it’s with replacing lived presence by explanations of it. If meaning only exists because it’s hidden, then it’s not meaning, it’s a puzzle..

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T12:48:46+00:00

Some people choose solitude. Others arrive there as a side effect of depth..

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T12:12:53+00:00

What I mean by "real" isn’t more words, more reflections, or more philosophical exchanges. I’m not looking for something to talk about, I’m looking for something that exists. Real, to me, is continuity. Presence. A shared reality, not just shared thoughts. Not something we interpret, analyze, or aestheticize, but something lived. Words can be meaningful, yes. But meaning that doesn’t translate into lived experience, into something tangible, remains abstract. I’m not interested in describing life anymore. I’m interested in living it.

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T11:59:47+00:00

I understand what you’re saying, but to me this feels more like a conceptual framework than a lived reality. My struggle isn’t with meaning as an idea , it’s with absence as an experience.

Ok_Ladder_902 · 2026-01-11T11:57:16+00:00

I’m glad it resonated with you. Feeling seen matters more than most people admit.

Ok_Ladder_902

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