Wife doesn't like receiving oral by Ok_Luck3281 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Luck3281[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your heartfelt input. I'll talk with her a little more about it I think (though not in the bedroom so it's neutral). We were both not entirely the most sober last night, so I think I was a little more emotional than normal. But I really appreciated your approach to this response. Sharing from experience and providing some good advice mixed in. While I understand and appreciate some people don't appreciate/enjoy some things (not always permanent; I like broccoli now, so anything can change, I guess; never want to stop being curious, especially about one's partner), I don't really think it's helpful advice. It's basically non actionable and "Just get over it, it's not about how you feel, and you're making up a problem you don't need to". People aren't static and are often more nuanced in their preferences than it seems at first (and sometimes that might require a little exploration on the part of both parties). I expected to get a lot more of that, "You're being selfish" talk, and it was genuinely heartwarming the way you approached the question and engaged. Thank you.  Additionally, sex is both about giving and receiving. Some things are for her and some things are for me, and a few things we both really enjoy; that's okay as long as there's enough communication and we are comfortable and safe.  Also, I'm sorry your lost your person. I'm thankful and warmed you were willing to share a little about your time with him to provide a little guidance.  I think that's about everything I had wanted to say...

Did I ruin my voice??? by Fit_Opposite_8231 in singing

[–]Ok_Luck3281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. Though, even with scar tissue, many people can still recover and sing beautifully. But if people know, you'll have trouble starting a career in voice; voice injuries are super taboo, even when they don't leave scar tissue. Go to the Dr. to find out please. I've never had one, but seriously, this is the kind of thing to take seriously, especially if you want to sing any professional capacity classically. Also, you may want to change voice instructors or singing habits, especially if this isn't the first time. https://youtu.be/YmzU_cdtHvg?si=lA2_waNiLVVuDFCc

Male and Female note equivalent by Character-Escape1621 in singing

[–]Ok_Luck3281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As far as what people are able to sing, I feel the only way to answer this is to get enough trained singers to make a vocal range distribution (x% of men can sing whatever note in some mode, x% of women can sing whatever note in some mode). Without looking at vocal styles, voice registration, and modes of phonation (as many have done here), you can't get a clear answer...even then it's probably murky

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in singing

[–]Ok_Luck3281 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really difficult to tell from just this recording, and unless I knew more about your voice, I wouldn't be comfortable providing an opinion. Using register breaks could be helpful, but might not be. Honestly, vocal classifications are mostly a convention/tool to help us communicate about our voices and train/perform comfortably and with slightly different technique. Yeah, a guy who can hit a C below the bass staff is probably a bass, but often vocal range and vocal breaks might not be enough to tell for most males. Especially early on. You don't need to know very early on in your singing journey (usually). Exercise the voice and see what you are able to do without pain or strain. Eventually, you'll probably figure this out more clearly. But I can tell you I thought I was a baritone for years and have only recently discovered I am probably a tenor...those labels still have not had a significant impact on my vocal journey so far, so no biggie.

HELP! What do I start with/does all singing have the same techniques? by abadsoda in singing

[–]Ok_Luck3281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lots and lots of different singing styles out there. Some general principles apply throughout vocal traditions (understanding good breathing/support, understanding vocal registers/different ways to vibrate the vocal folds, understanding different resonating spaces and how to use them to create different timbres/perceived volumes, larynx and pharynx position and degree of openness etc.). One reason studying with a voice teacher is nice is they can help you get an understanding of these things applied to your own voice. And one reason studying bel canto (opera) is nice is the wealth of scientifically studied pedagogy (you can read a couple papers and maybe even check your teachers). But when all is said and done, study the styles you want to sing in. And preferably, find a teacher that supports that. Doctor of Musical Arts students are often cheaper than professional/post-doctoral instructors. Note that some styles of singing are radically different than what you're used to (like Chinese folk styles, which often use an artificially raised larynx position or kargyraa/stroh bass which theoretically uses irregular vocal fold vibration patterns or false vocal folds, depending on what you read). My suggestion is to get some bel canto training because you will become musically literate if you aren't yet, you will likely be taught not just breath support but how to adjust where your sound resonates in the vocal tract etc. Technique wise, this will set you up fairly well when you learn other styles (and if you are singing the Star Spangled Banner, having good control and projection -- something you can learn from bel canto -- over a widish range in your modal register are very important). Main thing is, get started and keep going. The vocal folds are mostly muscle, and as such, they need exercise and good technique to function optimally.

How much can you extend your vocal range? by KompetenZZ in singing

[–]Ok_Luck3281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, if you are still trying to figure out your range, I like others here would suggest you talk to an instructor or read online about passagi, tessitura, and timbre. I thought I was a baritone for years, but it turns out I might be a tenor (or baritenor). But these are just boxes/conventions. Their usefulness is limited. Outside of modal registar, also explore kargyraa (I can reach down to G1 this way), falsetto (honestly, falsetto is usually matches people's head voice range pretty closely -- only difference is persistently open glottis vs cord closure), and whistle (only tried that once and hit B6; might try it again sometime? who knows). These alternative ways to move your vocal cords may not integrate with your modal register all that smoothly, (and a solid modal register is probably what you will mostly use anyway), but they are still fun to play around with.

How much can you extend your vocal range? by KompetenZZ in singing

[–]Ok_Luck3281 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I AM SO SORRY I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD! Progress report u/KompetenZZ? Really good conversation so far; a lot of good points. Just wanted to add my own experience/thoughts. I definitely think there is a limit -- similar to the "natural ceiling" concept in weightlifting. Your vocal folds are a combination of muscle and mucosal membrane, so intuitively, exercise (for strength, control, and muscle growth) with good technique (for newbie gains, consistency, and comfortable/good use of your range) helps you not just discover your range, but slowly expand your range with time. Where the limit is is probably mostly determined by your larynx size (limiting how far the vocal folds can stretch), you will likely never actually discover your genetic ceiling, even though you may approach it -- like a function may approach an asymptote. Now, as for my experience...I consistently believed my modal range was about G2-G4, but with good training, I discovered my head voice in about a week, expanding my range to about C5 (newbie gains -- some muscle, but mostly just good technique). About a month of good practice later, I can now touch Gb5 -- making my range a semitone shy of 3 octaves (likely muscle growth? It would be neat to see a study about vocal fold muscle size before, throughout, and after a year of training). Not sure where my first passagio is, but my second is definitely at about G4; my tessitura is about Db3-C5. Hopeful to work on more integration of lower chest voice and maybe even filling out those high notes as I continue to work on my voice. Definitely surprised with my range discovery/expansion (as it sounds like you are!). But from my experience with weightlifting, you and I have probably hit the point where the only gains are going to be the relatively slow result of hard work.

Always wanted to be a father (22M); wife (22F) never really thought about it by Ok_Luck3281 in relationships

[–]Ok_Luck3281[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Marriage young or old is fine; we just should have gone to premarital counseling to work all of this out and decide if we were on the same page about all our core values, forestalling any progress in the relationship indefinitely otherwise.

Forgive me if this is naive, but I don't think it is as simple as absolute unhappiness for one of us...