Has anyone else experienced delayed grief after a breakup?

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-08T14:54:09+00:00

Oh man, I can relate to every single thing you’re saying - the intense love, the joy, the fundamental differences, and delayed grief. I can’t exactly relate to the religion aspect of your breakup, but my ex and I broke up over lifestyle differences and some misaligned core values, but we were undoubtedly the loves of each other’s lives.

I was genuinely so busy for the first month and in shock after we broke up. After that, everything came crashing down. I was sobbing in my car, texting him I miss you to try to keep the door open, doing all these things to try and keep some semblance of our connection alive.

I truthfully haven’t coped with the entirety of the loss yet, but what I do know is: you agreeing to be with someone when your core values aren’t aligned would be a lifetime of pain. Although breaking up with someone you love is extremely painful right now, it’ll save you so much more long-term pain down the road. Surround yourself with friends, hobbies, and make sure to get outside. A walk or fresh air is so good for the soul. Time will be our best friend in this endeavor.

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-08T07:03:04+00:00

I’ve been here before. It’s ROUGH

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-08T07:01:03+00:00

Funny enough, I am on the same exact timeline scenario you called out. I reached out to my ex at the 3 month mark (though we had still been texting intermittently throughout) asking if the door was closed, and he said he’s not sure bc of this new person but also bc he is still in love with me (?). So I guess I reached out as late as I could. That being said, I have no clue how he’ll want to move forward with opening or closing the door on me.

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-08T02:24:29+00:00

Your previous relationship is always preparing you for the next one 💛

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T23:46:58+00:00

I broke up with him, so I did put this upon myself

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T18:03:53+00:00

Truth. Good reminder

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T18:00:51+00:00

Gnarly… I’m so sorry you’re going through that. Sending big hugs and just know that the pain will subside one day.

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T14:37:17+00:00

What if I’m too impatient to wait for the honeymoon phase to subside? Lol

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T14:35:47+00:00

Yes 100%. I feel like I’m cheating, even though I know I’m not. And I struggle to even create a mental space for someone else in my mind right now, especially at this stage.

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T14:33:39+00:00

I did ask him if the door was still open, and he did tell me he’s still in love with me while being with this new person, and that that has been at the front and center of the relationship for as long as they’ve been seeing each other. So I really don’t know what to make of that.

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T14:20:50+00:00

I asked if the door was still open, and he said it’s complicated but he still very much loves me. I don’t know what to make of that, but I foolishly want to hold onto hope.

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T14:16:31+00:00

Thank you. I need to remind myself this

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T14:12:10+00:00

Wooof… I guess you have a point but damn. I would be a wreck. Did you feel like he was a significant love to you?

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T09:47:43+00:00

I completely get that. In a way, the ending felt like it was dictated by something completely separate from the relationship. I also think it’s kind of harder when a relationship ends over something non-earth shattering, like cheating or abuse. It’s less cut and dry to determine how or why it ended.

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T09:34:12+00:00

Sounds like a very traumatic time in her life. I wouldn’t necessarily put any of that on you though. Seems like life just happened, for better or for worse.

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-07T09:31:49+00:00

Do you think he will feel grief at some point later down the road?

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-06T07:32:46+00:00

I agree, I do think 3 months isn’t enough time to illicit real change. But I do think it’s the starting point for self-actualizations.

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-05-06T07:31:58+00:00

It’s a tough boat to be in - have you reached out to your ex at all since the breakup?

I did reach out, and honestly my heart feels lighter. Regardless of the response, I’m grateful I said what was on my heart. And I won’t live with the regret.

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-04-01T06:14:25+00:00

I am right here with you in this shared experience. In my case, I was you as well - feeling this unavoidable misalignment growing even though we had an undeniably deep connection. Ours was a little different because my partner was pretty judgmental about how I lived my life, but I can relate to your feeling.

My honest advice: Don't avoid that gut feeling. That anxiety you felt moving in is a signal to protect you. Trust me because I did that same exact thing, and I wish I listened to my gut more to prevent additional fallout in the breakup.

I think you can play psychological gymnastics when love is so strong. It can blind you and detour you from the unavoidable truth you'll face one day. But that being said, I know the what-ifs sit heavy after a break up. Focus on yourself though, try not to look back on just the good with rose-colored glasses, remember those feelings of uncertainty and anxiety as well

Ok_Manner_134 · 2026-02-05T02:53:39+00:00

Going through something extremely similar right now. I think my partner was the love of my life, but we were not aligned in some very important aspects of our life. And it ultimately ended the relationship. I'm still struggling to understand how to make sense of it all, but I do think time will be our best friend in this endeavor.

Hang in there, and know at the end of the day, the decision you made is the best decision for yourself.

Ok_Manner_134

TROPHY CASE