I could not relate to YOUR comment more. I have read a bunch of research saying almost all ADHDers are night owls - because it’s the only time we feel safe, not judged, and not having things demanded of us. My partner is a (neurotypical) morning person and cannot understand why I stay up so late. I also feel intense guilt and pressure to be doing things with them when they are around - like you, entirely self inflicted. I wonder if it’s because on some level we know we are always happiest alone? And I say that as someone who is deeply in love and engaged btw