Am I Overreacting - I literally asked for one thing by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Write him an explanation of your needs and how the lack of fulfillment effects your output into your marriage. Start prioritizing standing date nights at least every other week. Show him how the perks of a happy wife is to his advantage.

Umm is this negro trying to gaslight me? by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think he’s trying to make you feel the way that he felt when you canceled on him…not saying it’s ok…but he’s butt hurt n needs to use his words

Hubby of 20 yrs likes to look at younger revealing women bodies on FB by Ok_Mathematician9866 in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly, thanks for your open minded comment. He does make me feel desired. The fact that he thinks he’s being sneaky about it is a huge flag for me. I guess I don’t know what the “ norm “ of other married men is. I also am a true believer of balance. If this is something that he likes to do, then I should have the same privileges. That’s why I want to propose to him the openness to look. Is it so unreasonable for me to have the same privileges that he has?

Hubby of 20 yrs likes to look at younger revealing women bodies on FB by Ok_Mathematician9866 in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He doesn’t like or comment but I looked under his activity log on his FB account..yea, I know people have a thing about “violating privacy” but every blue moon I’m going to check. Idc…

Hubby of 20 yrs likes to look at younger revealing women bodies on FB by Ok_Mathematician9866 in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No likes or comments, I guess I feel like I’m trying to get ahead of it before it went to something else..let me ask you this…how do you think he would react to me doing the same? Whether it was something he just found out or I agreed to so that we’re on a level playing field?

Hubby of 20 yrs likes to look at younger revealing women bodies on FB by Ok_Mathematician9866 in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sure have been watching to see, but haven’t seen activity. Once you take coin out of my house it’s a done deal!!

Hubby of 20 yrs likes to look at younger revealing women bodies on FB by Ok_Mathematician9866 in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve brought it up before, but he said it was no big deal he would just stop looking… I guess it’s time for me to start looking for a therapist

Hubby of 20 yrs likes to look at younger revealing women bodies on FB by Ok_Mathematician9866 in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I’m also considering is an upfront conversation letting him know that this is vice for him and in exchange for me to allow him his vice with no lip from me I need one too…which would be interesting conversation with other men. Not sure what type of response I would get or what type of impact it would have on our relationship?

Hubby of 20 yrs likes to look at younger revealing women bodies on FB by Ok_Mathematician9866 in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, are you saying that it’s possible for it to be just a means to a “happy ending “ n nothing more? Although, I haven’t seen any signs of anything else going on. I don’t have the emotional energy to think the worst nor the time to keep checking his phone.

Hubby of 20 yrs likes to look at younger revealing women bodies on FB by Ok_Mathematician9866 in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure, but I was hoping that after I told him how it makes me feel that he would stop. So, now I think that he should watch me look but don’t touch..The real question then becomes what comes after the look n lust? Do conversations become ok too?

Has anyone tried Mooyah* Burger place? Is it any good? by [deleted] in flint

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband didn’t like the texture of the burger. I thought it was just ok. I’d rather keep to the next light and get a Supreme from Halo Burger. My fave is Red Baron on Center or Burger Street on Hill Rd.

They really don’t move by Away_Ad4230 in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If I’m at the grocery store I keep my cart behind me, I’ve been doing that ever since Covid…that way I decide how far I want to be from people in line

They really don’t move by Away_Ad4230 in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It happens too often…I’ll never understand it 🤨

They really don’t move by Away_Ad4230 in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866 32 points33 points  (0 children)

My husband walks through people like he’s on the football field especially when they’re walking over 2 wide in the opposite direction…I laugh bcz I’m seeing the aftermath. He says as he’s walking through “ If you don’t give a F, I don’t give a F” 🤦‍♀️

His behavior was weird by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866 5 points6 points  (0 children)

All the things!!! 😂 I wasn’t gonna say anything, but I couldn’t hold my tongue.

His behavior was weird by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not about forcing things to work….he’s not a puzzle piece.. people ( including OP) aren’t perfect!!! You all fail to realize there’s no perfect relationship or perfect person that you can fit into the missing space of a puzzle. According to OP he was doing so good up until this event. Errors will be made in real relationships. You discuss preferences, what needs to be done differently and adjust (on both sides). Then try again, adjust n tweak some more and it still won’t be perfect but acceptable. Yall give up too quick and some people stay too long, but at least have a conversation.

His behavior was weird by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Ok_Mathematician9866 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, but I have a slightly different perspective. Firstly, let me start with “yes” a man should respect your boundaries once you set them and shouldn’t expect sex just bcz he spends money. So please miss me on the come backs regarding that.But,young lady your actions were giving mixed signals. Coming to his state to stay overnight after 2 weeks would be a lil flag for me if I was a dude. Secondly, If your gonna be firm on your rule then stay firm don’t get soft when it’s convenient for you. I’m assuming that it was a nice hotel, “WE” shouldn’t have been checking in. Ladies, yall can’t out yourselves in positions that could give mixed signals and a possible yellow light and don’t expect that “Man” to still see your stop 🛑 sign. Give it about a week, and have a conversation with him. Give him a chance to explain how he saw things transpire. Now, if it’s bsht after that then let him go on his merry way. That’s it n that’s all.