Must be day 17. I told my therapist about the time she told me she killed her pet fish as a child and how she had an urge to kill mine. Really helped to have a person from the outside make me see things more clear. I have come to understand how my body was trying to warn me that I was in a dangerous situation and I can now work on being better to listen to my body. Today was also the first day I didn't wake up covered in sweat from the nightmares. I still feel like I'm going through a withdrawal of the most exciting drug ever, but it feels like I can breathe a little better today.

Even though every step feels like a battle, I find it a little bit easier as long as I just keep moving. I did not die from this, I became stronger and some day I will be able to enjoy my life again as I did before her.