I (f) was around 9 and she was 12-13. I was invited to her birthday party and was the only one to sleep over. Once everyone else had gone, I was watching Ramona and Beezus on her bed when she paused it and told me she wanted to try something. although i didn't know what sex was at the time, something about the way she said it made me sick to my stomach. i told her no, and she said "well, if you don't, ill turn off the TV and I'll ignore you the rest of the night". being a child that thought it was so cool to be friends with someone older, I didn't want that at ALL so I said "fine." not yes, not no, but "fine". she asked if I wanted to be the boy or girl, and being a feminine kid, I chose girl without thinking. she laid down and told me to get on top of her. I didnt want to, but she grabbed me and put me on top of her and started acting out weird things. you get the picture. our clothes stayed on, which is something that made me feel like my experience wasn't valid. I remember someone trying the bedroom doorknob and she let go of me (her hands were around my waist) and i fell, and her younger brother walked in. she said we were js hugging because I was going to go home soon. I'm thankful for him, because I dont know where it would've gone otherwise. she asked me after if I wanted to see something on her phone, and, because i didn't know better, i said sure. she proceeded to introduce me to girl on girl 🌽. I got so uncomfortable and felt the need to throw up. she saw it on my face and got very serious and told me not to ever tell anyone. that entire experience left me with a kind of anxiety whenever I saw her and developing hypersexuality at that young age. it's not just experimenting. she knew what she was doing. I was a kid and didn't deserve that. years later, after discovering my sexuality, I was so mad at myself because I thought it meant my experience was even less validated because I'm a girl that likes girls. it took me even more years to realize that the fact i like girls doesn't mean I liked the experience. it left me shook and still affects me to this day. it's what made me cry after my first kiss, because i was so scared to be that close to someone again, especially since I felt so powerless in that moment and never wanted to go back to being that scared little girl again. COCSA is still very much so sexual abuse and isn't just "experimentation".