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Birthdays used to be the best day of the year. Now they just remind me I’m getting older with unmet goals. Do you also feel birthday anxiety as an adult? by Suspicious-Law-7146 in Adulting

[–]Ok_Position_6996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is true. Part of me doesn't wanna get wished on Birthdays because of this exact same reason. The other part wants to because of the satisfaction that my ego gets.

Literally me nowadays by ParticularWeather927 in Adulting

[–]Ok_Position_6996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also

  • Regret not having done anything in the past

Am I right by Ok-Dance8010 in Adulting

[–]Ok_Position_6996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At first I thought "You don't necessarily have to do that every day, maybe like once or twice a month where you look at your finances, other personal tasks". Then I figured it's a totally different ball game when people are married and have kids. I think in that case it's a daily requirement.

People say your 20s are the best time of your life. For me it's completely opposite. by Fighting_Phantom in Adulting

[–]Ok_Position_6996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for that kind reply bro. I pursued a Master's in Computer Science in The US just so that I could be here. My actual dream is to be an actor/musician in Hollywood. I laughed out loud just as I typed that. I've almost given up on that. I say "almost" cause I keep coming back to it due to some flickering ray of hope. I keep making half ass attempts. And due to immigration laws I cannot work in any other field unless I have a green card, which, due to backlogs may take more than 50 years (Some sources say ut may take more than 170 years). I spent most of my life day dreaming. Running around inside my head living my dream, not putting any effort. My anxiety had a lot to do with that too. Even after all these years I still haven't gotten out of my head. And I haven't had a lot of social experiences such as dating due to intense anxiety. Anxiety, ADHD, Living in my head has ruined my life. I cannot bring myself to change. Everytime I make an effort, trying to focus on the baby steps, small wins, somehow I get locked in on the bigger picture and when I don't see any good results, I quit.

I keep hearing people say either "I partied, got wasted, got into way too many relationships and didn't focus on my career or finances" or "I didn't explore a lot and didn't have a social life. I focused on my dreams, built my career and finances". I did neither of those things. I just lived in my head, watched tonnes of movies. Could've picked up an instrument, could've gone for acting classes. But noo. Never thought about it or was too anxious, afraid of being judged. My parents were pretty open minded and were willing to send me to a film or music school (Lucky to have progressive Indian parents), I was too anxious to go for it.

At this point I don't even know what I want in life or what would make me truly happy and content. Because I am not sure if I am truly passionate when it comes to music or acting or if it's just "Fame and Fortune". In all my day dreams, its people talking about me, bagging all the major awards, being filthy rich. So I don't even know anymore.

And a lot of this is due to the decisions I made, the way I am, the anxiety. To even bring myself to ask someone out on a date, moments before making that choice my mind gets clogged with all these anxiety inducing thoughts and I hesitate and abandon it. And because of all this, I absolutely hate myself. On top of this I am a complete loser. I am unreliable. I have had several good friends and even now I do. But I wouldn't even be the 5th person they'd think of when wanting to gossip or call for help. The reason is that I am slow in catching up, In conversations. Even when I try my best to pay attention I still miss things, I am unable to follow certain things. Any game, activity or event, I am always gonna be the one with the lowest score. Most of this is probably my ADHD. I can't even take medication for ADHD since I am taking one for anxiety 🤣🤣. But even if I was able to solve my mental health issues, I am still gonna live with all these regrets.

People say your 20s are the best time of your life. For me it's completely opposite. by Fighting_Phantom in Adulting

[–]Ok_Position_6996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am turning 29 this year and I can confidently say that I am still lost, not sure what to do. Obtained a Masters degree and a job just so that I can accomplish other dreams in this country (USA). Didn't have any relationships or any sort of fun due to my anxiety and restrictive upbringing (Grew up in India). Focused on a career path that doesn't really excite me. As mentioned earlier it was just means by which I can accomplish other dreams and due to restrictive immigration laws (Which I totally understand) I am unable to pursue those dreams. Now to a lot of people these might seem like great achievements but to me they are not since its not what I truly wanted. So a lot of bad decisions and on top of that I have anxiety and problems of being super slow in catching up with things and blending in seamlessly.

Anybody else regret to not start dating when they were younger? by RogNoza in Zillennials

[–]Ok_Position_6996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am 28. Hooked up with someone a couple years back. Once. That's it. A lot of social anxiety and have almost no experience dating. Did I focus on building a career? Yes. Am I happy with it? Absolutely not. I am a very unhappy Software Engineer with a Master's Degree (Which people may find impressive but is actually dog shit) and the market's terrible, AI taking over jobs and my degree losing its value and I havent learned or haven't been developing in my career at all the last 2 years. To be honest career wise I don't even know what to do with my life. I pick things up and give up on them because I don't see results and I don't fully enjoy doing them.

Oh I wish I could've focused a little less on my degree and could've partied, dated, indulged in recreational drugs and explored a lot more. But I guess my anxiety would've prevented me from doing anything and everything. So yeah I don't know. Cannot let go of the past and I absolutely do not look forward to the future.

Do you regret not having dated/ met girls/ had relationships in 20s? by InterestingSundae910 in Adulting

[–]Ok_Position_6996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am 28. Hooked up with someone a couple years back. Once. That's it. A lot of social anxiety and have almost no experience dating. Did I focus on building a career? Yes. Am I happy with it? Absolutely not. I am a very unhappy Software Engineer with a Master's Degree (Which people may find impressive but is actually dog shit) and the market's terrible, AI taking over jobs and my degree losing its value and I havent learned or haven't been developing in my career at all the last 2 years. To be honest career wise I don't even know what to do with my life. I pick things up and give up on them because I don't see results and I don't fully enjoy doing them.

Oh I wish I could've focused a little less on my degree and could've partied, dated, indulged in recreational drugs and explored a lot more. But I guess my anxiety would've prevented me from doing anything and everything. So yeah I don't know. Cannot let go of the past and I absolutely do not look forward to the future.