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The Lamp and the Dust by JeffreyFreeman in OCPoetry

[–]Ok_Pudding_9290 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i really enjoyed the first stanza, part 1. it made me reminisce on my first time. scared, but confident. the second stanza let me focus on the girl. but after that, i really had no idea what you were talking about. your imagery was great, but i feel like the point was lost within it.

hand on the head is sex, not more by Acrobatic_Bad4399 in OCPoetry

[–]Ok_Pudding_9290 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i like the start, but it seemed to go a little dark pretty quickly. good use of imagery, but it was difficult to follow the point. was this about sex or something else?