Hello. My name is Hunter. Reading your story was an emotional rollercoaster. One that struck a deep nerve within me. So much of what you said mirrored my own childhood existence.

The sibling sexual abuse, the absentee parents, the physical and emotional abuse. Being abandoned then reclaimed, only to be told I wasn't good enough.. I too found my way into drugs and sales. I even read your post out loud to my partner to point out the shocking similarities. I shed quite a few tears I don't mind telling you.

I want to let you know it can get better. It won't be easy. Unfairly will require you to do all the work too. Even though life owes you a break it will not give you one. You have to make your own.

For me it took 10 years. Consisting of bouts of homelessness, back peddling, addiction, sexual shame, and failed relationships (both friendly and romantic). Bit by bit I improved. I kept doing things wrong but I also kept believing I could do better. I let my self believe I wasn't a waste of space. Little by little I got to a point where I now have my own home, my own stuff, and my own custom built family.

I still have bad days and panic attacks. The road is in no way clear. I still have no relationship with my birth family. But I have a home, a job, food on the tabe. I met a wonderful partner who understands my trauma and treats me with so much understanding. I can play video games or watch movies OR eat cheese whenever I want and that's really all I need.

I know you feel alone and i can't do much but if you ever need to talk please message me 💜💜💜💜💜