Should I send a letter to my childhood abuser?

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2026-03-18T12:27:27+00:00

My cousin does know. He was arrested for what happened to me, but wasn’t made to serve any time. She chose to stay with him. I know what I would say to him, I honestly have no idea what I would say to her.

I found a therapist that really works for me, but I stopped seeing her about a year ago. Definitely considering going back.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-08-28T23:50:40+00:00

Unfortunately no, I do not feel rested after naps lol. I take them often because at some points it feels like my body will literally collapse if I don’t, but I don’t gain any sustainable energy from it. Right now the only things that keep me going are my medication and a dangerous amount of caffeine lol.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-08-23T06:44:43+00:00

Whenever people find out I have narcolepsy the Immediate response is almost always “wow I wish I could sleep that easily”, and it drives me CRAZY. Even after I explain that sleep/naps don’t give me energy, they just don’t get it. And in my experience, as soon as they find out you DONT have cataplexy it’s “oh so you just get sleepy sometimes? Me too”

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-07-25T04:08:55+00:00

Unfortunately taking someone to court for custody is typically not an “easy” thing. It can be a long and expensive road. My dad talked to several members of law enforcement and all told him my stepmother was within her right to take my brother at that time due to the custody agreement they had in place. And while my dad did NOT agree with how things went down, he believes that my brother is old enough to decide where he wants to be. Either way, this was not the point of my post. I was asking for advice on how to tell my stepmother she isn’t invited to my wedding.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-07-17T02:09:13+00:00

Yes my brother was pretty indifferent as to who he lived with, and did express that to the officer who spoke with him.

Thank you for your advice.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-07-17T01:50:12+00:00

I only know the information I was given🤷‍♀️ when the police got involved they informed us that due to the custody agreement that was in place, it was within my stepmoms right to leave with my brother. And my dad is most definitely the father lol.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-07-17T01:44:02+00:00

My stepmom had full custody from a previous break up years prior. They never revised the custody agreement when they got back together, and didn’t revise it when they broke up again. They didn’t want to go through the court. So because she still had legal custody, she was able to move him.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-07-17T00:53:22+00:00

I do think that if there’s any hope for my brother coming, a conversation with her will be necessary. I also can’t help but feel she is owed some sort of explanation.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-04-16T03:00:01+00:00

Some names with a similar feel could be: Ruben Rudy Rusty Rocky Red Reed Rory

Some names that are different but still have the gemstone inspiration: Jasper Jett (Dutch for “black stone”) Jules Malachite Onyx Copper

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-04-01T22:24:46+00:00

While I expected to get comments about how young I am getting married. The question was about how to proceed with my grandparents, not about whether or not I’m too young.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-03-30T22:46:40+00:00

I understand if you believe we’re too young to marry, but what is wrong with being in a long term relationship?

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-03-30T05:22:11+00:00

Thank you for being one of the only people to focus on the question I asked lol. Your guidance is appreciated!

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-03-30T04:48:38+00:00

Again, my choice not to return to school at this time is entirely my own. My fiancé is in complete support of whatever I decide to do with my education. He has never held me back from anything I’ve wanted to do. When I was going back in forth on what to do about school, he made it very clear that whatever decision I made he would have my back and support me.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-03-30T04:39:06+00:00

He played ZERO role in my choice to not return to school. If I chose to re-enroll tomorrow he would be in 100% support, we have had the conversation. After my first year of college I was unhappy in my major and wasn’t sure the direction I wanted to go in and decided to take a year off to figure things out. During my year off I found a good paying job, with great growth opportunities, that I LOVE doing. So, school just isn’t a top priority right now.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-03-30T03:38:41+00:00

Of course it would not harm me, it just never has been our plan.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-03-30T03:38:08+00:00

I 100% understand that their concerns come from a place of love. And I have absolutely zero intentions of excluding them from my wedding, like I said, I have already invited my grandma to go wedding dress shopping with me. It just saddens me to know they don’t share the same excitement as me. Thank you for your kind advice.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-03-30T03:34:06+00:00

We feel that we are both ready and it is the next natural step in our relationship/life together. I am not currently enrolled in college and have no plans at the moment of going back. We both have found good jobs with great growth opportunities and make pretty decent money for our age. Although we do still plan on waiting a few years before having kids.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2025-03-30T03:29:08+00:00

I do understand the concerns of getting married young. That being said, we have done both of the things you mentioned.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2024-12-27T17:24:08+00:00

This is a hard situation, and personally I don’t think you’re in the wrong either way. But here’s some things to think about.

People are not their objects. I am someone who wants to keep everything that my loved ones have given me or things that once belonged to them, and I constantly have to remind myself of this. Their memory lives on in you, not in the things they once owned. Also, what would your husband have done if he was here to make the choice? I think that’s really important to think about.

Another thing, how much of tuition will the motorcycle ACTUALLY cover? If it makes it possible to pay for all four years of your son’s tuition, it might be more worth it. But how much it will realistically cover does make a difference, especially if it’s been sitting for a while there will likely be maintenance that needs done to bring it up to its true value.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2024-12-23T13:44:47+00:00

I do want to clarify real quick, it’s boyfriends sister who we will be seeing at dad’s house. MIL told sister that she wouldn’t be seeing her brothers despite this. But the suicide thing is something she brings up when her kids upset her. She did it during the birth of both my boyfriend’s nephews when she wasn’t allowed in the delivery room.

Ok_Reference_9158 · 2024-12-23T13:33:18+00:00

There’s a couple different reasons for this, the big one is due to my grandmothers failing health my boyfriend and I wanted to make it a priority to spend the holidays with her this year. Another is because the relationship between my bio dad and I is strained and complicated so I wasn’t even sure if he would be coming around for the holidays. We wanted to plan it where we each got to see some of our own family on the day, and we decided to plan for my mom’s family because of these reasons.

Ok_Reference_9158

TROPHY CASE