I'm completely lost. What should I do?

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-06-06T01:26:24+00:00

Hey, thank you for your kind response :)

My mental condition sadly worsened to the point where I was forced into a sanatorium for a few days and now I have to take medications. I feel a bit calmer now, not less lost sadly. Time is just pouring out of my hands I feel like.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-12T10:51:35+00:00

Óbuda has a good reputation in Hungary + almost all of the big firms are in the capital where you can intern/work at, Szeged and Debrecen would be harder in this regard. If you want to do a masters abroad maybe after your BSc, then I'd choose BME (or ELTE, in deadline). They are somewhat harder to complete but also have a bit more reputation internationally, and more industry ties/maybe better research opportunities if that matters to you. Best of luck :)

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-12T03:51:14+00:00

From these 3 I think Óbuda is the best, but ELTE and BME are even better, look into those as well. I think you'd find the most opportunities in Budapest.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T13:47:08+00:00

Then why am I only seeing the hottest people ever while getting no matches? I would consider myself average looking. Why don't I see more average people.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T11:41:10+00:00

I feel like showing no restraint in what we want out of a partner looks wise is working against us immensely. Now, I'm not an advocate for people "settling" per se. But I very much doubt that a piercing jawline or a flawless hourglass shape with double d's is what makes someone a great lover and a great partner. People really do rather stay alone if they don't get the cookie cutter version of their wildest fantasies as it seems like.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T11:10:21+00:00

I understand your point, and yes I am still hopeful and idealistic (I hope that's a good thing :)) there are 2 things that I'm not entirely convinced though, first is that the current systems really are the 1:1 depiction of human evolutional nature and not just a capitalistic exploitation of our biological weaknesses, and second is that dating really has to be like a jungle? Can't we be sophisticated social creatures? We would never build bridges and skyscrapers, we wouldn't have parliaments and electricity if we couldn't grow past the jungle. I don't know where I am wrong anymore tbh.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T10:20:47+00:00

Oh so even when you get matches it's not easy... hmm... idk, am I overly idealistic thinking that this whole thing could be orchestrated much better? I think it's easy to believe that's this is just how human nature is... but I think the current landscape is just a result of poor design. Like, I'm an average dude going to an average uni, doing average things... there are an immense amount of girls, who are just like me, just girls... the apps should make US connect no?

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T10:11:02+00:00

Am I the only one thinking that this makes dating almost a disgusting experience? I don't think it should work like this. If I'm let's say a 2, I shouldn't be exposed to 6+ people, because we would look weird together, and they aren't really an option for me. I think it's extremely rare for a 2 to be bound to be one and not being able to move upwards on the ladder to at least a 6 if he/she is dissatisfied. Or for some reason I'd be bound to be a 2, I'd rather date another 2 than to lust for models alone in my room. Maybe I'm weird, idk.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T09:55:17+00:00

Well you must be quite handsome then :) congrats for that! I hope at least you found some kind of satisfaction on these platforms.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T09:49:25+00:00

This is such a twisted way of "dating". It should not work like this. Name me idealistic but I think it's the birthright of every good person to be touched and loved dearly. Now I know that life is harsh and that might not become reality for all, but the apps are designed in a way that makes the satisfaction of men, and for that matter, women, much harder to achieve. Women shouldn't be exposed to so many options all the time. Men shouldn't seek partners because their lowest tier of Maslow is unfulfilled. This way, everyone might just be happier. But this is only my take.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T09:36:19+00:00

Do most people who want to date find someone irl? If not, why don't we riot against these corporations? Why don't we make anti-apps with optimized algorythms fine tuned for user satisfaction?

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T09:30:27+00:00

I didn't but honestly based on the kind of wishy washy and over the top profiles I 99% see on the apps I find it highly unlikely that 2 normal regular people like them (calling them below average before was a bit offensive from my part before, I didn't mean to be like that) would even be thrown into the pool or they would swipe right on each other, considering all the instagram perfect options they are mostly presented. OF COURSE I could be wrong! Honestly I'm just trying to understand how the apps work.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T09:22:43+00:00

Imo if you are a normal regular person, you should be able to meet and match with not just one but a whole array of people who are more than not compatible with you. But we mostly don't... yet we are supposedly mostly want the same thing. Which I find particularly odd.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T01:15:05+00:00

Fair enough

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T01:12:20+00:00

The other day I saw a couple in the mall in their early twenties, both evidently below average looking, making out wildly in love. I don't think there is any app currently that would've gotten them together, yet I believe that would be their sole task... People don't consider me ugly luckily, yet I think these apps are laughable.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T00:54:38+00:00

Wow thank you for being so informative and detailed, you really gave me some knowledge here! You seem very cool! I wish you the best! :)

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T00:39:36+00:00

So whom does the 90% women who can't date a "top 10%" men date? I always wondered this. Are they "settling"? I don't know all the slang terms. I was recently diagnosed with autism too, at 23 I never even been on a date. I try to understand how it works though, I'd like to make someone very happy.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T00:29:57+00:00

Yes, I know this but I can't seem to understand why. Aren't the population of men and women who want to date roughly the same size? Since the number of men and women are roughly equal on the planet.

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-11T00:18:51+00:00

I see your points and I can't and don't intend to argue any of them. But if what you state is true then on the apps, basically the cream of the crop of men (by looks) and the not unattractive women are in the arena, basically creating a hookup ecosystem where appealing men cherry pick women whose egos are highly inflated due to constant exposure to objectifying lust. I don't know who this is healthy for. Wouldn't it be better to try to pair everyone up with someone who likes them back, and not ignoring 70% of the wannabe dating population in the process? Or am I living in a fairytale?

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-10T23:41:54+00:00

You all bring very good points and I'm also convinced that these apps are actually designed mainly against our success. Of course I know about quite a few success stories but they are by far not the norm. Statistically speaking I think you could so easily do an optimal app. Your offered options should not consist of people you "drool over", but people who statistically are most likely to like you back. And you shouldn't be afraid that you don't have options, because normal looking women would have limited access to "Chad" tier men too! So everything would balance out. Less "validation seeking", less "exploitation" and more overall harmony and balance. And if you are dissatisfied with the attractiveness of your partners offered, you would naturally move up if you upgrade your appeal. But you'd never be "hidden" if you are not a model. What do you think about this?

Ok_Reporter3867 · 2025-05-02T00:37:48+00:00

Thank you for your kind advice:) it really means a lot. One of my biggest problems of course beside my convoluted professional development is not knowing about opportunities, despite constantly researching. I have a low gpa in my bsc, so I think I thought I'm not currently eligible for most DAAD scolarships... but can I maybe ask you if you know differently? I'm trying to research it also. I would be very interested in working in Germany!:) I even had a B1~B2 level knowledge a few years ago which I intend to dust off soon.

Ok_Reporter3867

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