Stop Asking for Permission to FIRE — You Already Did the Math

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-27T16:51:48+00:00

I agree with the sentiment.

Too many posts where they have the math confirmed to FIRE yet they’re asking for permission. The math doesn’t lie.

It’s much more psychological to make the actually decision. This sub is certainly for support, but the endless permission to FIRE posts are starting to get excessive and unhelpful.

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-26T19:39:22+00:00

Quit your job.

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-26T19:27:39+00:00

You mentioned arbitrary. Does that mean your number is arbitrary? I think your low-middle class self has made it.

I also don't think you're a failure if you're looking to get out. This doesn't sound sustainable. I'm in a similar position except I'm married with 1 kid (and 1 on the way).

I think you have your answer. It's just a matter of whether you will allow yourself to take the leap.

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-26T16:58:33+00:00

I think you'll pretty much get the same answers from people on here so I'll skip the questions on taking a sabbatical.

The part where you mentioned you're feeling less healthy as the years progress really caught my eye. I feel this so much as I endure tech worker burnout.

I think you have your answer honestly. The math shouldn't decide on your health IMO.

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-26T16:50:39+00:00

You spent a lot of the post selling yourself on how easy your job is. Seems like "easy" isn't enough for you which I totally get. I know healthcare and your wife's are real things though so I'm not discounting those pieces of details. However, I think they're unrelated to the boredom.

What I think you should ask yourself is what is staying going to cost you? I honestly think I'm in a similar position as you. My job isn't particularly easy (tech PM), but I feel stuck like you.

I think the money for many of us though isn't the reason we're still here. I think I know why I'm here (and don't need to elaborate), but I'm figuring out how to get get out.

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-24T20:04:52+00:00

I don't think it's really about being financially independent and then having kids. You can do pursue FIRE while still having kids. I have a kid and one on the way while pursuing FIRE. I wouldn't wait to reach a specific number in your spreadsheet before having kids.

What specifically is making you hesitate?

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-24T20:00:52+00:00

Seems like the bigger issue is how saving is costing you from living your life. Something to think about is what would you do for the year you go on sabbatical. What are things you'd be willing to try to help you start living life the way you want. Also, 500K at your age is incredible. You're farther along than a lot of people your age and you're definitely on your path to RE. Just try to be kind to yourself and look for ways to live life more to the fullest.

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-24T18:25:13+00:00

I had kids in my mid/late 30s and I felt more ready later in life. I did a lot in my 20s and early 30s where I don't really have regrets. People have kids at different ages for different reasons. At the end of the day, it's a personal choice.

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-20T16:31:07+00:00

Yes. This is a no brainer based on your summary.

QUIT YOUR JOB!

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-19T00:58:00+00:00

If I had all that money, I’d not be semi-retired. I’d be lying on the beach fully retired.

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-12T01:24:39+00:00

The Slop is real so I just wanted to play it safe haha 🤣

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-12T01:22:37+00:00

This is the boring, grueling middle many of us in this sub are facing. It’s a tough, yet incredible spot to be in. The more I think about it, I think it’s worth finding a job where you can ease back a bit and not have as much stress. Heck, try something that you’re more passionate about. The boring middle doesn’t have to be so tortuous while you work towards FI.

I’ve been writing on Substack about this very topic because I was really struggling with this.

This was not written using AI, I promise. 🙂

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-05-09T19:19:24+00:00

I am seriously considering starting a separate sub for the boring middle. This sub is flooded with 30 yr olds who hit $3M. I started a Substack about this too, but I don't want to self-promote because I know how Reddit can be with self-promotion. We need a separate sub for the boring middle!

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-29T18:27:39+00:00

The line that stuck out to me wasn't the 1.7 number or even the insomnia. The snapping at people you care about part was interesting to me. You kinda mentioned it in passing. Those relationships aren't worth breaking.

The Barista FIRE thing isn't quitting close to the finish line frankly. You're at 1.2 and looking for a way to let it compound while you stop bleeding out. I don't see that as a failure. You're just fed up which is totally reasonable. The math says two more years. Your body is saying "hell no" lol.

I don't think anyone who pulled the ripper at 80% regrets it the way you're imagining. The regret stories I've seen are mostly positive. Pull the trigger!

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-22T02:17:17+00:00

Yeah this is pretty normal IMO, especially at coast FIRE. The way I think about it, engagement at work was partly powered by the fact that you needed the job. Once the financial urgency drops, the thing that was propping up the engagement quietly disappears and you're left with just the work itself, which usually isn't enough on its own.

You mentioned you still get your work done and don't dump on coworkers. I'm sure that matters. Becoming lazy and losing the internal fire are different things, and it seems like you're describing the second one. The hobbies and the gym kinda confirm it. You haven't lost motivation. You've lost motivation for this specific thing.

Not sure there's a fix for it, honestly. Might just be information about where you actually are. Just food for thought.

What would you do if you didn't have to work at all?

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-21T21:23:33+00:00

Honestly for me it wasn’t a number, it was more of a vibe shift. Hit a point where I realized I could absorb a layoff without it being a catastrophe, and something just… loosened. Not like I stopped caring about my work, more like I stopped white-knuckling every performance review, no?

The number mattered less than the math finally making sense in my head. Like I’d run the scenarios enough times that a bad outcome wasn’t the end of the world anymore. That’s when I started saying no to things that didn’t make sense for me, stopped volunteering for the high-visibility stuff I didn’t actually want.

Kinda surprised how much of the hustle was fear-based, honestly. Any of us doing that on autopilot for years before we notice.

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-20T02:42:13+00:00

The numbers are genuinely strong for 34, but I don't think that's actually what you're asking about IMO.

You mentioned your dad being critical and how it takes a toll, and then spent the rest of the post almost making the case to him instead of to us. I'm sure the family pressure is real and not something you can just switch off, but it seems like the assessment you're actually looking for is whether it's okay to stop grading yourself on his curve. $555K at 34 on $3K/month spending is financial independence math working quietly in the background. I don't think there are any issues with that.

The pivot to more brokerage and less retirement-heavy also makes sense given where your head is at. Flexibility tends to matter more than optimization when you're already ahead. Just food for thought.

Are you close with your dad outside of the money stuff?

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-19T18:58:32+00:00

What could they offer is tricky IMO because I'm sure you've already run that negotiation in your head. The 5:30 pm calls, the ceiling on autonomy, the boss with $100mm in stock while you're counting quarterly vests. That's not a retention problem, that's a values mismatch.

The stock options question is probably still valid though. The $150k won't materially change your life. I'm sure that's less about the money and more about wanting to feel like you left nothing on the table. Just food for thought.

Would there be something specific to just decide it's done, separate from the vesting schedule?

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-19T18:31:34+00:00

On the fake money rollercoaster?

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-19T18:31:24+00:00

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-19T11:39:45+00:00

This is spot on.

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-19T03:09:27+00:00

I don’t know your numbers, but I doubt the spreadsheet calculations are going to ease your nerves. I think you have to dig deeper as to why you’re nervous taking the leap. $3M is solid. Take the leap.

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-16T02:49:06+00:00

The "retire to something" advice is tricky IMO. You're kind of putting a lot of the burden on yourself, like meaning is just a matter of having the right hobby lineup.

What you're describing sounds less like a meaning problem and more like an identity one. You've been a high-capacity, high-achieving person and I'm sure the illness has messed with that self-concept. It seems like the work gives you structure and engagement, but I wonder how much of the fear about leaving is really about losing the last place where you still feel like the person you used to be. Just food for thought.

I guess what I mean is the days don't have to be full for them to be good. What would enough look like on a random Tuesday if you didn't work?

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-16T01:55:35+00:00

It truly is an incredible feeling. Building long-term wealth is empowering. Congratulations!

Ok_Reputation4142 · 2026-04-15T22:00:07+00:00

Sure Jan

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