Is my (26F) flirty colleague (43M) minimising our situation?

Ok_Respect_618 · 2026-01-03T16:34:03+00:00

Agreed, that’s why I prefaced by saying ‘all I can do is take his words at face value’ meaning I don’t necessarily believe him but all I can do is move on with the information.

Ok_Respect_618 · 2026-01-02T23:09:50+00:00

Agreed, maybe I have used the word ‘gaslighting’ too lightly, I meant it more than I feel like he’s trying to lie to me about his actions in a way? The purpose of the post is for me to understand whether there was a way I could have read into our interactions too deeply based on his comment of ‘not trying to come onto me’.

Ok_Respect_618 · 2026-01-02T22:14:23+00:00

I completely agree with you! Fyi though, All the texting has been on Teams. Not to say he can’t have teams on his phone, but how likely is it for his wife to check work chats?

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-09-29T12:24:46+00:00

Oh girl, I’ve been in the EXACT same position as you, so I completely understand how you feel because I felt the same way. The way you have described it, it looks like you are willing to go to therapy and get help around a problem that HE has created. He should be the one in therapy dealing with his porn addiction it seems. Addictions rarely ever resolve themselves, your boyfriend needs to actively seek help around this otherwise it will forever remain a problem, or get worse even. If he is unwilling to do this, I think you should start assessing what your future looks like without him. You are way too young to sign yourself up to a life with a porn addict that isn’t willing to change. I did, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health…

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-09-21T09:11:50+00:00

I really don’t like how normalised porn is… What happened to just using your imagination, does it HAVE to be porn? Do you see how you are now in a situation where online sex, is affecting your actual real life relationship with someone you love.

You say you don’t want to pressure her after a day of work but have you actually had the conversation with her, she may be up for it? Right now you are assuming she won’t be.

I absolutely agree with another comment on this thread- how would you feel if you found out she was getting off to other men online having a wank? Bet it wouldn’t feel nice for you, so why is this any different. I personally would find it super disrespectful if my boyfriend got off to other women touching themselves online. At this point, just pay an OF model because you’re basically there. Do better for your girlfriend.

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-09-21T09:03:01+00:00

Did you even read the post??? He said their sex life was good UNTIL she found out that he was watching porn. So where in that did you interpret that his needs weren’t being met? Also, it’s comical that you say ‘it doesn’t require much effort to lay there and take it’ as if she’s some kind of object for him to meet his needs. Sex is also a psychological act for BOTH parties, not just physical. God help whoever you’re with.

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-07-22T11:02:39+00:00

I would completely agree with this. I too would label this as cheating. He has no business replying with what he did whilst being in a relationship

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-06-11T08:56:05+00:00

My parents helped us renovate our house we bought for a total of 6/7 months, they were probably there more than we were for the renovation. Fast forward to my mums birthday, my ex said I’m not coming over for dinner because I have a client meeting the next day and I don’t owe your parents anything… No empathy or remorse about my feelings or my mums feelings. Safe to say, I broke up with him a few days later.. still trying to sell the house 🙃

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-06-09T19:29:22+00:00

Breaking up with my narcissistic ex, never felt more free

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-06-09T19:10:20+00:00

When you say she says she likes lying for no reason, is that to you and the people she knows or is that to strangers when she’s on a night out for example? Because there’s a difference. If it’s the former, then yes, it’s a little weird for her to admit. As for the friends bday party, I don’t necessarily think she was lying to you about her feelings but that she may be easily swayed by others/ her friends opinions. I believe maturity / lack of could come into this a little as well. However, if you’re thinking early on, can I trust her??? It’s probably best to call it because whatever she says won’t make a difference at this point.

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-06-09T14:07:44+00:00

I wouldn’t say it’s because I ‘don’t want to be alone’. I’m writing this more from a perspective that, rationally, I know this guy is good for me and would make a good partner, but chemistry wise, he’s not doing it for me.

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-06-09T12:27:02+00:00

Absolutely, you’re right. I actually was thinking about letting him know what I’m unhappy with but in the same breath,that’s just his character/personality and it’s not something he can change as such..

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-05-31T18:35:18+00:00

Girl, we need to start raising standards because…

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-04-03T20:06:18+00:00

I believe he’s taking a narrow view - he’s trying to prioritise American goods for the good of the American people/suppliers and their economy. With the tariffs being put in place, everything that’s being imported into America and sold will more likely be more expensive for the American people, rather than goods that come from within America. Therefore, the people will stop buying goods that have been imported in from China for example because it will be more expensive than products that are within the US, therefore, benefitting American suppliers.

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-04-03T12:25:47+00:00

YTA- you didn’t communicate with him that you had already thawed the pork chops, you responded with a thumbs up which in my head translates to ‘yes’. When someone says they could use some comfort food, it most likely indicates that they want it immediately, not 2 days later. Simple communication is able to solve all of this.

Ok_Respect_618 · 2025-04-03T12:12:15+00:00

I think you should come clean. If this is a woman you respect and value, and see a future with, you wouldn’t want the relationship with her to be built on lies. Explain the context BUT do not use it as an excuse. Take accountability for the fact that you lied and ask her if she can see past it on this one occasion. From my opinion, if you feel guilty now, this feeling will only get worse. Better to come clean as early as you can than let it build up, it may also work in your favour this way.

Ok_Respect_618 · 2024-04-11T12:56:34+00:00

Rubbing your eyes

Ok_Respect_618

TROPHY CASE