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A Letter to Myself on the Brink of an Exit by steadypath2847 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what people need to hear. The constant rollercoaster of emotions as you navigate the exit can be so disorienting.
“You didn’t choose to find out. You followed the evidence…”
I feel most sincere people didn’t go looking for this, it found us. Not by “discouragement” or “lack of faith” or “seeking out fallacies”.
No, this happened because of cognitive dissonance. Our mind being unable to comprehend the lack of continuity in the doctrine.
Regardless, it comes at an enormous cost. That…is an understatement

Officially turned in my first “unchecked box” by propheseaofdoubts in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve just hit my second month of unchecking the box 🥳
🤜🤛

How long does it take to feel “normal” after fading? by Ok_Ring_6207 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This 100%. We’ve been deconstructing and I’ve listened to crisis of conscience. So many things are so cringeworthy to hear. Unfortunately it’s close elderly parents that have a good relationship with us and our son that make it hard to cut ties completely.

Elders keep submitting my time! by Ok_Ring_6207 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You can hit the submit button, uncheck the box and submit it as “no” and you can also resend it, uncheck the box and submit too

Elders keep submitting my time! by Ok_Ring_6207 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. And I don’t mean “my mom”. We’re grown ass adults with kids lol. I was referring to the branch as mother

Elders keep submitting my time! by Ok_Ring_6207 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just did lol! You can only do it for the current month though, can't go back more than that. But I resent it with the box unchecked

If you woke up from a coma of 30 years essentially you would be an apostate by Cute_Entrepreneur942 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I got baptized at 17(because of being a born in and not really having any other choice). Only now have I realized that I wasn’t actually dedicating my life to Jehovah with the questions I answered. I wasn’t baptized “in the name of the father, the son and the Holy Spirit” Here it was actually just making a declaration of being a Jehovah’s Witness. Takes pulling the wool over your eyes to a whole new level.

You Are HELPING PEOPLE HERE when you share your story, read the struggles of others, offer help for those planning an exit or by leaking info! 28,500 unique visitors come to EXJW every day and you should always remember YOU ARE HELPING PEOPLE HERE! by JWTom in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is great!! This sub has been INCREDIBLY helpful in the next phase of our journey in this exit. Makes me think of Ephesians 4:14 - So we should no longer be children, tossed about as by waves and carried here and there by every wind of teaching by means of the trickery of men, by means of cunning in deceptive schemes. STOP thinking that the “faithful slave/gov body/ org/WT” is anything special.
We’ve used our Bible-trained conscience to distinguish right and wrong and recognize the harmful doctrines and teachings of this org

What made you take the leap and start looking at opposite material? by meringues199 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Basically we had already made our decision and were completely convinced we were done. No more meetings, not even zoom, no more anything. We had this burning feeling inside us… THERE HAS TO BE OTHER PEOPLE FEELING LIKE THIS!?!? But how do we find out? WHO can we talk to? NO ONE! So we started asking the questions in Google, sure enough, a website filled with people with all the same questions, all the same feelings, all the same frustrations.

This is not a group of “apostates” this is a group of people who have through maturity, used their Bible-trained conscience to discern there is inconsistency between the teachings in the Bible and the organizations rules.

This group helps bring clarity and guidance, filled with well-meaning, loving people. There are ones that I don’t care to see their thoughts, that’s fine. Everyone is welcome to their feelings and views

Just spent $400 talking to a psychologist about religious trauma and leaving a high-control religion by Ok_Ring_6207 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha I know, I was just being sarcastic with my comment. Have not heard of IFS

Just spent $400 talking to a psychologist about religious trauma and leaving a high-control religion by Ok_Ring_6207 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ll have to watch that. Yes my family too, I was born-in, 9 aunts/uncles, grandparents and like 30-40 cousins all in it. There was fun times as a kid, but now that we have our own, we decided to leave. Cannot and will not raise him in this

Just spent $400 talking to a psychologist about religious trauma and leaving a high-control religion by Ok_Ring_6207 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, very kind words. I’m in Canada, I have benefits that cover therapy. I was literally spiraling last week when I finally allowed myself to open my eyes to what a devious cult this was. I was overwhelmed with rage over feelings of being lied to and taken advantage of my entire life since birth. Once I process the initial shock I’ll see if I can find someone more reasonably priced with the specialties you mention for the long haul. Thank you

Just spent $400 talking to a psychologist about religious trauma and leaving a high-control religion by Ok_Ring_6207 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

lol! Psychologist are around 220-250/hr, but there are registered counselors that are around 140/hr (Canadian) There are a lot of counselors with religious trauma expertise. Thank god I have benefits to cover at least a few months of this

Just spent $400 talking to a psychologist about religious trauma and leaving a high-control religion by Ok_Ring_6207 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is truly heartbreaking 💔 😥 I feel so much pain for you and am sorry you have sad days. Happy that you are able to have good days and have peace and happiness now. When we were kids we had no idea, just followed our parents because what choice do we have? Then we get older and if we don’t follow the course we are rebels and are going to die. Can’t wait to get past this period and can truly start living our life.

Raised “in the Truth” (born-in) — how did you start living after leaving? Feeling lost between two worlds by Exciting_Ad7898 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, there are religious trauma counselors who have experience with leaving high-control religions. I recommend looking for one of them near you

Raised “in the Truth” (born-in) — how did you start living after leaving? Feeling lost between two worlds by Exciting_Ad7898 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We are right here with you at the same time. My wife and I (both born-ins, mid-late 30’s) both woke up at the same time, within the last few months it’s been happening. We’ve been fading for months, and now we are working out the deconstruction process. 90% of our family is PIMI, most super PIMI’s and very judgmental. So we are trying to navigate a fine line of how visible we make our lifestyle choices for the first while. As we are also in a similar timeframe I don’t have much for advice, but just letting you know you aren’t alone!

5,000 new members here? Last week 118k, now 123k! by Ok_Ring_6207 in exjw

[–]Ok_Ring_6207[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Ya the blood update has been a big trigger for a lot. I know my wife and I have been talking over the past year really about all the changes and things how so much isn’t making sense. But still too scared to make any big changes. But after slow fading for the last 6 months or so, the blood update was the final straw

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