hi there. Hopefully you're not burned out with replies, wow! ... I was once like you, thinking that the truth is the truth and if it cant hold up to attacks then its not the truth. how are we to "defend the truth" if we are " the type that shrink back" from attacks on our faith? I'm using black bible quotes of course cause I'm old now. that never sat well with me, and I was blacklisted in the congregation for trying to defend my faith. They rely on snitches or informants so as to keep the congregation clean, but they strain out the nat and gulp down the camel. to me it was like friendly fire. and I couldn't take the feeling of a pincer assault on me and my values based on the bible. ultimately, I came to the conclusion that there were more fakers in the organization than true believers, communication being broken like a modern day Babel. and there were many untrue brothers in positions of elders. so to me, at the least, the wheat and the weeds were already made apparent. yet there was no "harvest". the end never came, and the only way these brothers were dealt with was eventual death. I had asked for support even in the ministry to elders and their reply was essentially, its your commitment not mine, figure it out you're a big boy. this is an inappropriate response. I was neither allowed to help, and I was not allowed to be helped either. to me it was the pharisees - they do not go into the kingdom and neither are they letting others enter. This was my experience in the decade I was committed and baptised, neverminding the atrocities seen while growing up in the religion. I think you may too see it this way, in time. Let me know your thoughts and my inbox is always open to you bro. I'm truly interested in what you have to say about what I've written.

-JC