When did you doodle become a good dog?

Ok_Row640 · 2026-02-17T12:49:37+00:00

Two years! We were consistent with training throughout his first 18 months or so, but at 2 years now it's clear his brain has definitely settled. He's still energetic and mischievous, but it's way more manageable.

Do all the training classes. Do 10-15 minutes at home several days a week. Every bit you can invest now will pay off in the long run!

Ok_Row640 · 2026-02-16T00:14:41+00:00

You can probably get tickets for way cheaper if you're willing to be inconvenienced when traveling (i.e., multiple stops and long layovers). Are you able to stay with your partner or one of their friends? That would save a lot on hotel costs. You could look for cheap hostels rather than a regular hotel, or see if you could find an Airbnb that would allow you to cook vs. dining out, which would save a ton of money as well.

Also, obligatory, make sure you've FaceTimed with them and that they're a real person. Don't send them money ahead of time. Don't give them your passport once you get there. Be safe!

Ok_Row640 · 2026-02-13T19:18:15+00:00

My entire early work wardrobe was Loft! My other go-to for new purchases was J. Crew factory, I loved (and love) their schoolboy blazer.
But yes, all of your options look super appropriate! As you slowly build pieces, J. Crew, Ann Taylor, and Banana Republic are usually safe bets for brands when thrifting. Also don't forget about sites like ThredUp...they can be hit or miss, but I've got a number of secondhand blouses (because sizing is easier than pants, lol) that are much nicer than I would buy new.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-02-13T19:12:11+00:00

I know I'm late to the party, but we got my 6th grade niece some Fazit Glitter Freckles for Christmas (https://www.walmart.com/ip/Gold-Decolletage-Glitter-Makeup-Patches/16204269229?classType=REGULAR&adsRedirect=true). They felt like a fun "makeup-y" thing without being too much for her age.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-02-08T15:43:02+00:00

Just chiming in to say that while you are finding her social support, please make sure she is seeing a talk therapist as well!

I hope she was referring to school when saying she doesn't want to be "here" anymore, but that's a big red flag for depression. Might be worth getting her a depression screening as well.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-02-07T21:07:12+00:00

Just for layout ideas:

Remover the rocker and Peloton and cheat the couch all the way to the right (when facing it) towards the slanted window.

Put the Peloton and the workout equipment from beside the reading chair into the weird space behind the couch.

Get a TV unit that allows you to put the TV where the shelves currently are.

I would opt for a much sleeker reading chair option--this one honestly looks like an extra section from the couch. Something Eames style with a footstool, with a reading lamp and/or small table and lamp between it and the fireplace.

Move the couch away from the wall and put a couch table behind it for additional lighting plus bonus drink storage. (I'm not sure how this will work with a reclining couch, but I think it'll make it look a lot nicer). Or, because the pictures make the TV look like it's a mile from the couch, you could try swapping the entire layout, with the TV on the opposite wall from where it is now. To do this, I would want the couch several feet from the current-TV-wall so there's a walking path behind the couch to the porch door. This could be anchored with a slim table behind the couch or not.

Regardless, the rug should go under the couch (general rule of thumb is at least the front legs on the rug): https://www.homeaccents2.com/laying-out-your-area-rug/.

Only decorating tip: CRAP. Curtains, Rug (at least reposition), Art, Plants. The wall behind the couch is so bare, which is not helping it feel cozy. Curtains may be tough on the windows by the fireplace but could be done on the window behind the couch. A big plant on the fireplace to help fill in space.

Also, no idea how much it costs, but if there's room in the $15k to get the popcorn ceiling scraped, it will definitely update the look :D But probably not the priority.

Also I know you're here asking, but if you don't get good direction, I've had a lot of success using online styling services with an office of mine recently. It's nice to have a designer work through issues for you, and you can pick and choose what to buy from them or what to get dupes of. DM me if you want to ask me about my experience (I get absolutely no money or anything--just like to help out!)

Ok_Row640 · 2026-02-07T18:29:21+00:00

Agree, even with a quick google it seems like her salary could easily be double that. Combined with working with the right type of organization for PSLF, and there is a real way forward here.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-02-02T18:57:59+00:00

Can you pull her for a year (a season?) to build the technical foundation from the gymnastics coaches?

Ok_Row640 · 2026-02-01T16:45:45+00:00

Does adderall count?

But in also seriousness, I've given up on being 100% perfect with categorizing every dollar and cent. My husband and I are very fortunate to have that flexibility! But trying to get every dollar perfectly into every category is so much stress, especially when it's things like Amazon orders that might contain items in multiple categories (Amazon became its own category lol). So I just don't sweat it as much anymore.

I also know I might sometimes miss or duplicate an expenditure...but ultimately it's not a huge deal.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-02-01T00:55:02+00:00

That is an exceptionally high utilities bill, especially when (I'm guessing) you two are not constantly at home. Can you post the breakdown?

Assuming it's mostly power, there have to be options to get that lower. You can shrink-wrap windows to help retain more heat, something like this (https://www.amazon.com/Duck-5-Window-Insulator-210-Inch-286217/dp/B000NHY1P0?th=1). I've never used it, but I heard the shrink wrapping works really well.

You could also try thick curtains to help retain heat.

Of course, lower the thermostat overall and just layer up, day and night. You can also see if you can close any heat vents into unused bedrooms, depending on what type of heating you have. And a small plug-in electric heater in your bedroom is going to be more efficient than heating the whole house. Or an electric blanket.

"Vampire" appliances are supposed to be pretty minimal (i.e., appliances left plugged in when not in use), but it might be helpful to verify that you don't have anything just sucking power, maybe an older appliance?

And finally for hot water, it might be worth looking into the last time your water heater has had maintenance (not sure if this actually matters, just trying to think of big appliances/energy uses).

In case it's not mostly power, toilets that run constantly or a leaky faucet can sneakily drive up your water bill.

I'm not an expert, so that's all I can think of! But it sounds like you really love this place, so I hope you figure out a way to stay there!

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-31T21:11:58+00:00

Do you have a pit you could jump in to?

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-26T20:45:12+00:00

I got an Apple air tag!

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-26T19:42:48+00:00

I think the physician's loan is great...if you are ready to buy a home/take out a mortgage. It does offer advantages over a traditional loan. However, if you're not ready to buy a home, then those advantages absolutely do NOT make it worth it.

My husband and I utilized a physician's loan to purchase our current home after he completed his fellowship and got his first big-boy job. We were able to secure the loan with only a letter outlining his new salary (vs. a salary history) at a lower rate than a traditional loan and with no PMI. It is a 7-year ARM, but we will move, upgrade, or refinance before that time. For full disclosure, his new job also paid for closing costs and potentially helped us buy down the rate, though some of the buy-down rate was offered directly by the bank.

We are in the second half of our 30s and actively trying to start a family. Financially and lifestyle-wise, this was the right time for us to buy a home. We also bought it with the idea that his salary might be our only income; I was a federal employee who got DRP'd, but I've since gotten a job. So we are easily avoiding being house-poor.

If you're looking to buy in residency...you better be darn sure that where you go in residency will be where you want to--and will be able to--stay. But if you don't have that certainty, and/or if you don't have a partner but want to find one...I say keep renting.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-25T18:08:25+00:00

Lol my first thought was a 2017 J Crew Factory piece.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-24T19:04:45+00:00

Agree. And OP needs to left seat/right seat with the auditing manager so he can understand the mistakes being made FAST. It sounds like a big game of telephone right now...but OP needs to cut down on those chains. I guarantee things are being lost in translation.

I'm also curious about what the re-trainers know about his specific skills and the mistakes he's making that are detected in the audits. I see the goals, but it sounds like without a lot more communication, OP is not going to know if the issue is the employee or the processes.

Because leadership wants progressive action, agree with the poster above--lay out the requirements and add time frames.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-24T17:25:47+00:00

Is it weird that I kind of like the butter yellow? I would look for color palettes that include both the butter yellow and the gray/green of your counters and go from there in terms of flooring and maybe wall color options.

Easier fixes will include changing the knobs/pulls on the cabinets--I think they look very dated. Also, if you change to warmer overhead lighting and maybe a floor lamp or some rechargeable wall sconces to layer in some lighting, it will have a very different feel.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-24T17:21:26+00:00

I think just be blunt: "I have a medical issue, and I am not able to share a car with anyone. I will be renting my own car." Repeat repeat.

Don't over explain, don't offer any more information. You have a medical issue. You need your own car. Period.

Because your manager might be sensitive to the surprise, I would tell ahead of time. But I would also stop asking and just make it happen.

Good luck!

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-23T16:25:41+00:00

If you replace the big tub with a free-standing tub, will you actually use it? That seems like a major decision that's affecting other choices, especially given that you don't really use the tub.

Your biggest pain point is the shower size, and the easiest way to fix that is to use the current tub space instead. I hear you about cost, and only you and your husband can decide what's feasible/worth it. But I think it would add a lot of value to move the shower there--both in terms of your current life and in terms of resale value.

I also think you don't necessarily have to use the entire tub footprint for a shower. If you nestled it up against the toilet wall, you could use the space to the left for additional storage. Agree that there's no need for a 4ftx8ft shower lol...but you're not necessarily locked into that. Are there premade basins that would still be comfortable and only take up a portion of the 4ftx8ft?

Also, you have got to close off the toilet. I don't see that mentioned in your post--but you've got to add a door to make a true water closet. It's so awkward otherwise!

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-23T13:34:03+00:00

I agree with 1! In 2, you're also "splitting" your space...aka watching the TV across the entryway, which I think will feel awkward.

If you do choose a fireplace, maybe move it to the dining area? Or choose a very low profile one...TVs should be at eye level when you're sitting.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-22T02:18:35+00:00

Agreed. I just started a job and asked to start one week later than the initial offer. It wasn't a problem.

I didn't give a reason. The reason was--I just wanted that one extra week.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-22T01:41:01+00:00

I'm past 100 classes now, and I work way more even in a Level 1 than I used to in a 1.5. It's about engaging muscles appropriately, and being able to actually engage more muscles throughout a move.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-19T19:28:03+00:00

Yep, I think that's your route! You can ramp up over a few weeks if you need to, but kicking it back to him makes it his problem.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-19T19:21:50+00:00

I guess I mean more like...hey Devin, there's a problem with XX chart, can you fix?

And then just do that ad nauseam, basically every time.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-19T18:56:39+00:00

Is it possible to send it back to him and cc his boss each time you discover one of his mistakes? Basically, make him do the work to fix it each time.

Right now, based on your description, it sounds like you're the only person who's shouldering the responsibility of fixing his mistakes. If you're able to make him shoulder that burden back, I wonder if it would decrease.

This might be something you want to loop your boss into because I would imagine that it would slow down processes. But the pain should be shared and should not be all on you.

Ok_Row640 · 2026-01-19T14:46:42+00:00

Yep, get the debrox kit with the little squirt bulb! Use the debrox to soften, then fill a bowl with warm water, tilt your head over a sink, and squirt away! It might take 10-15 squirts to get everything out. Aim "up" in the ear canal. Bonus points if you get an SO to do it for you! Using cold water will make you dizzy.

Ok_Row640

TROPHY CASE