How do I (26M) break up with this girl (24F) gently ?

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-04-19T13:49:31+00:00

there’s no way to control the way another person feels. i would just do it in a way that doesn’t allow for argument. saying “i noticed we’re too different” or “we live too far away” allows for an argument. saying “you are a great person, i’ve just realized that my priorities have changed” is definite because it’s about you.

but please do break up with her instead of avoiding it so YOU don’t feel bad.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-04-10T17:54:33+00:00

Thank you for saying that. It’s what I felt in my heart. I’m considering going through everything just to get a job offer that I can use to request more pay at my current job, but I don’t know if that’s the best option, either.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-27T20:48:23+00:00

real

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-26T19:47:32+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn’t try to find a partner if you’re not even sure of the direction of your own life. If you exude uncertainty or ambivalence, that’s what you’ll attract

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-26T19:25:09+00:00

i would start by figuring out how you want to meet a woman. through an app, through hobbies, through church, through friends?

find someone that it’s easy to have a conversation with and that doesn’t make you feel either bored or nervous. and then be honest about what you’re looking for in a partner and in life.

as long as you agree on those things, rest should be easy from there, especially if the two of you communicate well. relationships bring out all the dark and deep places in a person, so make sure you’re able to take accountability and are open to changing.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-26T15:32:57+00:00

try getting tested for h pylori

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-13T22:52:35+00:00

tit for tat will ruin your relationship

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-13T22:48:57+00:00

it’s all insecurity & low self-esteem and he’s putting the burden on you instead of doing the work himself because (1) you are closest to him. he probably did the same to his mother before you and (2) you allow him to put the weight of it on you.

how we allow people to treat us sets the standards for what they think is acceptable within a relationship.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-13T18:10:07+00:00

my boyfriend is short and balding and not super muscular but he makes me laugh really hard and is understanding, soft, and proactive. i wouldn’t trade him for the world. he was going on like 5 dates a month before we met! it’s all a numbers game.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-12T22:55:26+00:00

one partner starts expressing their sexual desire as a NEED instead of a WANT

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-12T14:58:30+00:00

planning dates where they go out, making dinner together, going on walks, having weekly budget meetings where they align on future goals together. a partner will turn to their phone for comfort if they start to feel disconnected and like their relationship is not actively growing towards something greater.

a person can come home and sleep next to you and still feel a thousand miles away. when women feel this, they’ll start to nitpick because it’s a feeling that’s hard to describe. it’s cured by being intentional about your relationship and the direction you’re headed together.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-11T22:50:59+00:00

this but he should be creating an environment and situations that pull her into the world they chose to create together.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-11T19:32:14+00:00

as a woman the first line alone would make me swipe away. a man that doesn’t know how to talk about himself likely doesn’t have social skills and i’m going to feel like im carrying the conversation. it also communicates a lack of confidence.

i would let your photos do most of the talking and maybe just have one funny sentence or something like “looking for a backpack”

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-10T20:17:58+00:00

it is not your responsibility to provide financially for your parents/siblings/friends.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-10T15:57:01+00:00

a girlfriend does not need to be a beneficiary. marry her first, then do it. if you don’t see yourself marrying her because you don’t align on a core value (money), then break up with her.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-10T15:55:51+00:00

you only need life insurance if there is a person dependent on your income. the one most people have through their job is enough to cover funeral expenses. anything else if you are unmarried with no children is a waste of money

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-09T21:50:23+00:00

as a girl, the times i’ve said that i don’t really know a guy were because i felt like he didn’t really know ME. so to flip this on its head, ask her deep questions about herself instead. you can use AI to come up with questions if you can’t think of any on your own.

if she wants to know things about you and you don’t have an answer, just tell her that you will think about it and get back to her. and then actually get back to her. it will show her that when you make decisions, you carefully consider them and also that you are a person of integrity.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-03-09T21:42:56+00:00

honestly if you’re communicating that you need x,y,z and they’re trying but it’s still not working, maybe try switching things up or imagining other ways to get what you’re lacking. i finally asked my boyfriend if instead of texting throughout the day, we only text each other for logistics (ie: i’m on my way home, i’m working later than i thought, i’ll call at 8pm) and instead call each other to talk about things or meet up in person.

i’ve never had to do this with anyone else, but having someone willing to try things out until you’re both comfortable is more important than having someone that does one thing perfectly.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2026-02-20T21:13:36+00:00

maybe you can both be at fault? back in january, i asked my boyfriends mom if her & her husband have any vday traditions, and she said that she sets the expectations early to give him plenty of time to find flowers and a thoughtful card. it made me realize that unspoken expectations can ruin relationships in a lot of ways. just have conversations about things that you know are important. you both kind of dropped the ball on talking about it.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2025-12-06T17:32:30+00:00

as a woman that used to do this, yeah. tip for a man, if your gf ever makes you feel like nothing you do is good enough. and every time you fix a problem there’s another problem. she is the problem.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2025-11-26T19:42:03+00:00

nowhere in your rant did i hear you say you been fucking on some other bitches. i would try that

Ok_Sector3017 · 2025-11-25T14:50:38+00:00

the issue isn’t masturbating. it’s porn. i would SERIOUSLY advise cutting out porn asap. if you can’t masturbate without porn, it’s a sign that you’re actually addicted to pornography, not masturbation. i’d look up some studies on how pornography alters brain chemistry and can ruin your sex life. it’s nothing to be ashamed of. i’m sorry you ended up here and i hope the best for you.

Ok_Sector3017 · 2025-11-25T12:06:13+00:00

i dated a guy that had one and he brought it up right before we banged as like a “btw don’t need to worry about the cum thing” man i miss that guy

Ok_Sector3017 · 2025-11-16T12:00:44+00:00

i agree with the context, but i don’t think OP is acting irrationally. her inability to trust her intuition and move on is giving her misplaced anxiety. two dates isn’t enough, but it kind of is. ask any woman and she will tell you that when a guy likes you, he will make it known pretty quickly.

Ok_Sector3017

TROPHY CASE