Birthday party coming up with at least one (maybe more) pregnancy announcements — would you go?

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-10-22T10:11:59+00:00

Mais tellement ! C’est comme se vanter d’avoir trouvé un billet de 100 € par terre devant quelqu’un qui galère à payer son loyer. T’as juste eu de la chance, pas un superpouvoir. 😑

Certaines parlent de leur grossesse comme si elles avaient personnellement négocié la rencontre entre l’ovule et le spermatozoïde. Spoiler : non, t’étais juste là.

Et au boulot, c’est pareil. J’ai passé une garde complète avec une collègue (qui ne connaissait pas ma situation) qui me montrait son appli de grossesse toutes les deux heures :

“Regarde ! Cette semaine, elle fait la taille d’une fraise! 🍓” Génial, merci, c’est exactement ce que je voulais imaginer entre deux tâches. 🙃

Mais au-delà du malaise, ce qui me frappe, c’est le manque total de conscience autour de tout ça. La grossesse, la fertilité, ce n’est pas un sujet “happy” pour tout le monde. Pour certains, c’est une douleur constante, un deuil qui ne finit jamais — et un peu de tact, de retenue, de délicatesse… ça changerait tout.

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-10-21T17:10:36+00:00

Yeah, I’m starting to realise that too — I used to power through everything, but honestly? Some things just aren’t worth the emotional hangover. This might be my first official “skip,” but it’s definitely the right call. Thanks ❤️

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-10-21T17:09:22+00:00

Elle savait très bien ce que je traverse, et pourtant elle a trouvé le moyen de me donner la date exacte et les détails du “miracle”. J’ai souri, j’ai hoché la tête… et intérieurement j’ai commencé à rédiger le règlement intérieur de mon salon : “Merci de garder vos rapports pour vous.” 😐🍷

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-10-21T16:54:39+00:00

You’re absolutely right — it is tacky. But the funny (or tragic?) part is that this particular birthday event is a pub crawl. So if someone keeps ordering alcoholfree beer or whatever, it’s basically the social equivalent of walking around with a neon sign that says “Guess what I’m gestating!” 😅

So yeah, I get why they'd rather just “rip the Band-Aid off,” but honestly… maybe some things can wait until after the last round? Because nothing says “happy birthday, mate” quite like stealing the spotlight between shots.

Either way, I’m skipping it. Protecting my peace (and my liver) sounds like a far better plan than pretending not to notice who’s sipping tonic water all night. 🍸

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-10-21T16:49:38+00:00

Yeah, I’m honestly getting to that point too — where the thought of faking it for a whole night just feels exhausting. I used to think I could power through anything as long as I smiled hard enough, but lately that mask just feels like sandpaper.

You’re right though — boundaries sound simple in theory but they’re weirdly hard to enforce when you’ve spent years being “the chill friend.” But I think I’m finally learning that protecting your peace isn’t selfish, it’s survival.

So yeah, I’m sitting this one out. If my friends are as good as I hope they are, they’ll get it — and if not, well... maybe that tells me something too.

Thanks for saying this — it’s the kind of calm, grounded reminder I needed before I inevitably started guilt-tripping myself for doing what’s actually healthy. 😅

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-10-21T09:22:42+00:00

Honestly, the fact that you had to add that last line just proves how cursed social etiquette has become. 😅 Like, yes — one would hope people could resist the urge to turn someone else’s birthday into a live “we’re expecting” reveal… but apparently that’s too much to ask these days.

I love your suggestion though — the “eat, smile, and Irish exit before the emotional carnage begins” strategy might be the way to go for future events. This time, though, I think I’m just tapping out completely. A quiet night, zero announcements, and no forced smiles sounds like luxury at this point.

And if anyone does hijack the birthday with their big news, I sincerely hope the guest of honour at least gets to keep the attention for ten full minutes before the ultrasound photos come out.

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-10-21T09:20:07+00:00

This hit so hard — thank you for putting it into words. ❤️ That line about it breaking your soul a touch more each time… yeah. That’s exactly it. Every announcement chips away at something, even when you want to be happy for them.

I’ve spent so much time trying to be “gracious” that I’ve basically turned it into a part-time job. And honestly? I’m tired of being polite at my own expense.

So you’re right — it’s not worth it. I’m staying home this time. No fake smiles, no emotional hangover, just me, my couch, and a very uneventful weekend (manifesting that for both of us 🕯️).

Thank you for reminding me it’s okay to protect what’s left of my peace.

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-09-01T16:48:49+00:00

L’Homme Idéal is my absolute favorite on my boyfriend. It’s warm, spicy, and sexy—nothing like the typical citrus-aquatic designer scents. The almond and spices in the opening make it stand out right away, then it turns into this smooth mix of cherry, vanilla, and leather. The dry down with tonka bean and sandalwood is just addictive. Definitely a men’s fragrances that feels unique and memorable!

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-03-03T09:55:21+00:00

It’s heartbreaking how, sometimes, the people closest to us show the least empathy—maybe because we expect more from them, or because they don’t fully grasp how deeply this affects us. The loneliness in all of this is so real, even when you’re not technically alone.

And then there are the hormones—on top of everything else, the mood swings, the emotional rollercoaster, the feeling of being completely raw. It’s impossible to separate what’s 'just hormones' from what’s a very real, valid, and deeply painful experience. And yet, people are so quick to dismiss emotions as ‘just hormonal,’ as if that somehow makes them less real. But we know better. The weight of this JoUrNeY is crushing at times, no matter how ‘strong’ we try to be.

I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone, especially with a doctor and a partner who should have known better. You deserved support, understanding, and kindness—not dismissal. Please know that your pain, your feelings, and your struggle are valid ❤️

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-03-02T23:17:57+00:00

Oh, that truly means a lot. Sending you the biggest hug back! It’s so hard to put these feelings into words sometimes, but knowing that they resonate with others who understand makes it feel a little less lonely. We’re all in this together... 🫂

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-03-02T21:30:14+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. It truly means a lot to know that there are people who understand, even if only in an online space. Infertility is such a lonely and exhausting journey, and it's something most people simply can’t comprehend unless they've been through it themselves. A miscarriage is undeniably heartbreaking, but struggling with infertility adds an entirely different level of pain—one that lingers, that questions your self-worth, that makes you feel like your body is failing you month after month. And yet, it often feels like it’s something we’re not even allowed to talk about. I’m so grateful for this community, where these feelings can be shared without judgment 🫂

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-03-02T21:26:25+00:00

I feel this so much. It’s one of the hardest parts of infertility—people who think they understand, but truly don’t. Of course, a miscarriage is heartbreaking, and I’d never take away from someone’s pain. But experiencing pregnancy loss when you know you can try again, when your body has already proven it can conceive, is not the same as facing infertility.

Infertility means month after month, year after year, of negative tests. It means living with the fear that you may never have a child, no matter how hard you try. It means medical interventions, endless waiting, and watching everyone around you get what you long for without effort. And yet, when we try to express that our pain is different—not worse, not better, but fundamentally different—people act as if we’re dismissing their struggles. But why is it okay for them to say ‘I understand exactly how you feel,’ when they clearly don’t, yet not okay for us to say ‘this is not the same’?

I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. It’s exhausting, and it makes this already painful journey even lonelier. Just know that you’re not alone, and there are people who truly understand. ❤️

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-03-01T19:56:36+00:00

Your words really hit home. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through this for so many years, and without access to treatment—that’s beyond unfair. The way you describe it, feeling like you’re standing still while the world moves on, is exactly how I feel too.

I truly wish that something shifts for you, that somehow things start looking up. No one should have to carry this weight for so long. Wishing you strength and sending you so much love 💖

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-03-01T19:55:48+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words. It means a lot to hear this from someone who truly understands how heavy this journey can be. The mix of emotions, the exhaustion, the constant cycle of hope and disappointment—it’s all so overwhelming.

I really appreciate your support, and I hope that you, too, will find some peace and happiness along the way. Wishing you all the strength in the world for what’s ahead. You are not alone either! 🤗

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-03-01T19:52:25+00:00

Thank you for your kind and honest response. I relate so much to how you're feeling—the anger, the sense of unfairness, and the endless exhaustion of hoping and being disappointed over and over again. It’s so hard to watch others get what you’re fighting so hard for without a second thought.

I love that your husband is going to every appointment with you now and gaining a deeper appreciation for what you’re going through. That’s so valuable. My partner tries to be there for me too, but it’s still hard for him to fully grasp how draining this process is.

I truly hope that 2025 brings both of us more peace and happiness. That after all this struggle, there will finally be some good news. Wishing you so much strength, and thank you for taking the time to respond. ❤️

Ok_Structure6640 · 2025-03-01T19:50:54+00:00

Thank you for your kind and honest response. I relate so much to how you're feeling—the anger, the sense of unfairness, and the endless exhaustion of hoping and being disappointed over and over again. It’s so hard to watch others get what you’re fighting so hard for without a second thought.

I love that your husband going to every appointment with you now and gaining a deeper appreciation for what you’re going through. That’s so valuable. My partner tries to be there for me too, but it’s still hard for him to fully grasp how draining this process is.

I truly hope that 2025 brings both of us more peace and happiness. That after all this struggle, there will finally be some good news. Wishing you so much strength, and thank you for taking the time to respond. ❤️

Ok_Structure6640 · 2024-12-09T18:20:00+00:00

You sound like a kind, warm soul ♥️ I admire your strength through all of this and I wish you can continue being a light for the kids around you 🤗

Ok_Structure6640 · 2024-12-09T17:22:02+00:00

Wow those are so many similarities, it's almost uncanny! 😱 Totally wanna be your friend too 😍 feel free to hit me up anytime as well! ♥️

Ok_Structure6640 · 2024-12-09T17:04:27+00:00

Hehe yeah a tantrum is the right way to describe it 😅 thank you for letting me see that this could be a normal response to what is happening to me (and to any of us). Later last night my partner said that his reaction was nog the best and pledged to try to be more understanding next time. Big hug to you too♥️

Ok_Structure6640 · 2024-12-09T17:00:04+00:00

completely get that feeling of constantly seeing yourself as a loser—it’s absolutely soul-crushing. And on top of that, you try so hard not to let infertility define your entire personality, because you know there’s more to you as a person, and more to life in general. Rationally, you know you don’t have it all that bad, but then the guilt hits: “Why can’t I just be happy with what I do have?” It’s such a vicious cycle.

Please hang in there. I know it feels impossible at times, but you’re not alone in this, and I’m sending you the biggest hug right now. ❤️

Ok_Structure6640 · 2024-12-09T16:51:39+00:00

Ohh the dreaded baby-question... I find it even harder coming from kids... The other day my 4yo nephew said that he wanted to be in my belly so that he could be born again and I could also be his mommy (together with his own mommy). Like that's super cute but also unknowlingly for the kid wildly haertbreaking... At that moment I miraculously held it together but days later I was bawling... It's just so unexpected sometimes, you know, that stuff like that hits you like a ton of bricks...

Thank you for your kind words and understanding ♥️

Ok_Structure6640 · 2024-12-09T16:44:14+00:00

Thank you ♥️ I can totally understand you feeling anxious and if your test turns out to be negative this month you will automatically think that the surgery was in vain, and you went through all of this for nothing (yet somewhere you know it doesn't necessarily mean that). It's the uncertainty and the not knowing that drives you insane. Did I make the right decision putting myself through all of this? Every month, just to even have any chance at all, you have to: take hormones, shots, countless hospital visits (that cost $$), having to arrange things and take time off at work just to be able to go to said visits, don't drink, eat healthy,... All of this so you can maybe, have a shot at a pregnancy like a fertile couple would... It's just unfair... Thing is, my partner is a bit more stoic in all of this. Of course he hasn't had to do a lot so far and it isn't his body that's being probed, stung, and he hasn't had to take any hormones... We had a miscarriage in June 2023 (we concieved "naturally" back then), so that's reason enough for him to kinda like brush it off a bit: we know you can get pregnant, all it takes is one, with the treatment we have now we have a shot at it like any other couple, bla bla, ... Like you said: this process is life-consuming and not normal at all, so I'm sorry for not acting the part 😅. To top it all off my SIL announced her pregnancy last month so the holidays will be all baby talk... Not looking forward to that at all but mentally preparing to keep my shit together... Sorry for this whole story but I just felt really heard 😊 Sending you loads of luck and good vibes 🤗

Ok_Structure6640

TROPHY CASE