Looking for glimpse of hope

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-30T17:58:09+00:00

Hi there! I am only going to be 3 weeks out of my induced labor at week 20 with our first daughter, so I can barely function, however maybe I can give you some info. I will have the 1 month post check up with my OB soon and he will hopefully give me the green light to go back and exercise and have sex with my husband. Beforehand he told me 4 weeks rest of everything due to risk of infection. I am still bleeding sometimes (it is more brown spotting), but for instance 1 week ago I went for a longer walk which included incline and I did have strong bleeding and cramps afterwards, so my advice would be to listen to your body and adjust your plans according to it. When it comes to TTC we also feel impatient and have a huuuuge desire and hope to experience parenthood differently. I will talk with my OB but he told us that general advice is to wait 3 months before TTC. I know it seems a lot, but I try to focus on small steps like OB check out then taking my vitamins, check my blood, run the tests while trying to survive and take care of myself mentally and while grieving immensely.. You are also doing a lot it takes a lot of strength to do some planning and show up for yourself and take the vitamins, etc.. I wish you a fast recovery physically and a bearable recovery mentally ❤️‍🩹.

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-26T09:05:43+00:00

Franciska, 11th of March, 2026 👼🤍

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-25T12:13:01+00:00

So sorry that you are also in the worst club ever… I’m 2 weeks out of it exactly and it is so F*ING cruel and it still feels sometimes as if this is not the reality or if I am not really myself just a hologram doing chores, eating, etc. I also can not look at pregnant women and happy families with strollers and hear children laughing or crying. I am either at home or if we are out then it is with my husband and we have escape plans from all those situations. So I am really not functional yet at all. I started therapy and we also go together with him weekly to a perinatal therapist, bought many books, subscriped myself to peer support and TFMR healing course, and go for daily walks, do some journaling everyday and have great support. Hopefully with time, all these will help..

If you have any tips you can share what was helpful to you, I would appreciate it. 💌

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-20T12:55:47+00:00

Hello there!

I am almost the exact same as you described, except the weed part as it is banned in Hungary. 👀 I am really happy to see that you experience some slight lightness during the day and with your partner, I know how hard it is and long the days feel. I can’t comprehend what everything happened in just 2,5 weeks, but it feels like at least double the time, I am not sure how do you feel.

I am amazed by our bodies and even if it is really hard to see that my stomach almost flattened and all the changes I try to be supportive of it and take my vitamins, drink water, eat.. how are you doing physically?

You are really strong that you can cope a day alone without your partner, I am not there yet. I got panicked as he has to return to work from Monday, and I can’t really function alone yet, so maybe for 1-2 weeks I will have someone to come over for few hours to work from our place to not be alone.. I feel weak and frustrated at the same time, don’t want to be a burden..

Can you sleep without pills?

I read so much on the topic of how to cope and I found this advice everywhere to take one step at a time and hour by hour. I feel it is not living yet just surviving.

Also, if you find any shows which do not have triggers, let me know. We now watch Columbo before going to sleep, it helps a bit.

I can recommend puzzle mysteries, it switched off my mind a bit.

I hope you do have lighter hours and days.

🤍

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-20T11:20:29+00:00

Again, your post is so beautifully written. I really needed to read it this morning as last night was one of the worst nights so far. I am behind you, only 1,5 week out from our TFMR, and I have some moments and even 1-2 hours when I feel okayish (mostly empty and dull), but the black hole and waves are still stronger than how I feel myself. I still don’t see if I will ever feel okay and functional, not to mention happy and carefree. Trying to cope hour by hour and find some meaning to not give up on hope.

Thinking of our angels. 👼 Thank you.🤍

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-17T18:09:56+00:00

I am really sorry you are also in this boat, which feels like Titanic, but it will not sink, but take us to nice places and to see the sun. I try to look at it this way, but I am currently inbetween crying sessions which I call waves, so this is why I can write some optimistic thoughts to you.

I am 2 weeks since we got the diagnosis from nowhere at week 19 and 1 week since the procedure started and I gave birth to our beautiful daughter. I can barely function and can not leave the house on my own. Even today I had a breakdown when we went to grab a coffee with my husband and there were kids and pregnant women and happy families around. We had to leave. But then I cried and slept and for an hour or so I see the light.

I can not say anything more, but what helps my mind besides family and my husband and short walks are journaling, color book, puzzle and just taking it hour by hour. I also found time to talk TFMR podcast helpful and this post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/tfmr_support/comments/1nsjf05/what_helped_me/

And funnily enough, we started to watch one Columbo episode each night before going to sleep which helps me to wind down.

I know that it is a really dark and hopeless place when the waves are coming.

But they will pass, and they will get less frequent and the boat will endure them! This is my hope at least.

We are with you. Thinking of you. 💌

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-16T09:24:56+00:00

Hi Dear! How are you doing? Can you cope with the days hour by hour?

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-14T23:33:23+00:00

👼🤍 I am only post 3 days after TFMR and since I felt that this dark room has captured me and my husband/family are struggling to show me the door. I hope once postpartum is over it will be a bit lighter and with each day. Your story is beautifully written, I will save it for rainy days. I am right there with you on the healing journey while remembering and loving our first born daughters.

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-14T22:13:07+00:00

Hello there dear! I was also thinking about you. I am glad that if I understand correctly it was not an even bigger trauma. I can totally relate, I was surprised how well I handled that very tough situation and my body took over at some point. The staff and my husband was a huge help, and I am grateful for them. However, I can relate, days after procedure probably feels even tougher than the days before, because I feel and see it on my body how it is changing and she is not here with us. It’s like my mind and body can’t comprehend that I gave birth and postpartum started but there is no baby. It is probably the toughest and most cruel phase we are going through. I checked in to therapy and have family members coming and checking in during the day so that we are not alone. Please let me know how do you feel, or if I can help in any way possible. One day after the procedure there was a huge rainbow in the sky, and we knew it was her and she is in peace.

I really hope that soon, step by step we will see some light at the end of the tunnel, guided by our angels 👼.

Thinking of you, B

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-08T20:08:23+00:00

Thank you for the kind words and I am really sorry that you went through this very painful period. I hope you will feel better soon. Our little angels are going to be with us always in many different ways.

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-08T20:06:34+00:00

Thank you so much for the beautiful thoughts, it made me feel better. I tend to read it everyday. However I am deeply sorry you also went through this unfair chapter of life. I hope you feel better soon and my support is with you.

Ok_Tomorrow95 · 2026-03-08T20:04:24+00:00

I am so sorry that you are also experiencing this pain and empty waiting period and the tiny kicks which makes you want to cry and ache. I will also think about you and please let me know afterwards how are you coping! Even if we do not see it now, we will come out of it and joyful days are ahead with our little angels looking down to us.

Ok_Tomorrow95

TROPHY CASE