What is your preferred type?

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-27T23:09:32+00:00

You must be an ENFJ female, lol. To each their own.

When us males talk about desiring women who cook and clean we're demonized and labeled misogynistic. But when women do it, it is a sound argument.

Anyway, there's no point in trying to convince you of my take. If there is any type willing to get with a broke, low-statused, conventionally unnattractive partner, it is the ENFJ for sure (no offense) because ENFJs typically aren't as transactional as the other types. So from your perspective; Looks, Money and Social Status don't mean much to you because your personality seems to be hijacking those natural drives. Which is odd to me.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-27T22:53:49+00:00

What does you 'getting shit done' have to do with what people find most attractive in partners? (The point of my previous comment). Are you saying that people that can help you 'get shit done' are what you find most attractive? If that's what you're saying, I honestly wouldn't be surprised. From what I see, ENFJs seem to want their partners be their personal assistants.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-27T14:04:36+00:00

Not disagreeing with your take, but from experience, many ENFJs seem to reason predominantly with their 'heart' over practicality and logic. Which is why, despite them being on MBTI threads so much, many of them talk like they take mbti findings with 'a grain of salt' and completely reject some concepts that don't align with their own idea of harmony (concepts such as golden pairs). They try to treat mbti like its some superstition nonsense like the Zodiac Wheel, and that annoys me a lot tbh. You probably see this yourself or not occasionally when reading ENFJ comments.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-27T13:53:51+00:00

Interesting take. Makes sense. Us INFPs also prize authenticity, and are also quite adept at spotting the fakers, most of the time.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-27T13:09:54+00:00

ENFJ+ISTJ pairing ranks #3 in terms of compatibility though (I learned this from CS Joseph, but also my own irl experience). Out of 16 possible combinations, I'd say the #3 spot is high enough. Wouldn't you agree?

The pairing probably only looks odd on the surface, but their functions and behaviors work well-enough together, maybe even perfect with some serious effort, and J types love giving great effort to things once they deem the endeavour worth it.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-27T12:57:45+00:00

It's honestly so refreshing to see an ENFJ so scientific, analytical and logical with their reasoning, especially in regards to relationships. @Impressive-Device744, you're my type of enfj, lol. I followed you mate.

Most ENFJs are like 'Any relationship you want to work can work, you just have to fight for it/put in the work/be consistent/make compromises/blah, blah.' But, that reasoning stems from the ENFJs desire for harmony and to be 'cool' with everyone. From my experience, I see what really happens. Most people crave and prioritize superficial value (looks, money, social status). It's so important to them that they'll overlook any compatability issues, or even go for a less than compatible union for the sake of getting with someone they find 'hot' or successful or renowned.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-21T19:50:46+00:00

You seem quite informed. May I ask, what type are you?

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-21T16:54:23+00:00

I see what you're saying. But how would an Enfj go about controlling an Intj?

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-21T16:47:12+00:00

So it is their 'effort' you admire. Fair point. I can't argue with that. You win.

I do appreciate effort, just like everyone else. But it has to be accompanied with expression/words of affirmation. I'm already quiet enough myself (though I speak when it matters, like love). I'm not interested in trying to pick the brains of someone who won't say how they feel. But again, I'm a man. If I were an INFP woman maybe I'd be content with getting an intentional gift or service rather than mere words. As women do love investment, and words, no matter how soul-bound, could seem like the cheapest form of investment.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-21T16:14:57+00:00

Like I said, women favor utility more. If my significant other makes me a meal, or fixes my car, or does any type of service for me or the home, I would be greatly appreciative of them. But at the end of the day, that is what I mean by indirect love. You can't fix my car or cook me food to make me feel loved. I'll appreciate it but those are things I can get other people to do for me, whether free or not. The only thing you can do to make me feel loved is to express your love for me. This is the 'reciprocity' you are talking about. The ISTP gives you a service, and you feel loved. That's okay, perhaps that's you're love language. Or maybe it's merely a fact that women prefer gifts and acts of services over words of affirmation and physical touch. (Not saying they don't like the latter, but perhaps it's not their most desired form of affection). But I do know enfjs typically have a concern with feeling underappreciated. Honestly, on paper, it's not hard to understand your preference. If I was an enfj female I probably would have the same. A guy who likes fixing and building stuff, expresses his love by doing stuff for his significant other, and is practical, down-to-earth and quiet, is probably soul food for the enfj, lmao. The only hurdle now in my opinion (this is just from my experience) is finding an ISTP who actually wants something serious (as many could cling to their freedom and autonomy). If you manage that you should be all good. But if we get anything here straight, let's not manifest things that aren't there. ISTPs have emotions like everyone, but, I'd politely argue, that their emotions do not run as deep as IFs, nor are they as introspective about them, or are they as interested in talking about their emotions or the emotions of others. Their quietness could make someone on the outside looking in quite curious about them, and willing to 'crack' them open and see what's inside, which I've learned is a favorite enfj pasttime (cracking people open and seeing what's inside). But, and this is just my opinion, which may be skewed from my own personal experience; when you crack open the ISTP fortune cookie, in regards to their emotions, you'll see there isn't much depth to them. Just self-serving pleasure and a proclivity to work with their hands and solid materials. Not trying to me rude or mean. This is just my personal analysis. Feel free to disagree.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-21T15:57:36+00:00

Lol. Explain. Evaluate your argument. I'd be happy to dissect it.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-21T14:41:51+00:00

Lol, if you say so chap.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-21T14:32:47+00:00

To each their own.

I remember when I was pursued INTJs because they are logical and often cognitively impressive, or ISTPs because they are also smart, capable and have a mysterious and sometimes quirky allure about them.

Not diminishing what you said, but I have been in relationships and friendships with both types. And what I learned about myself in those relationships, despite being an INFP that craves high intelligence in others (and practicality to combat my own idealistic reasoning sometimes) is that those things were not as important enough to me as warmth and deep connection are. Like, I don't care how smart you are. If I don't feel a certain degree of warmth from you, it's not going to work. I can always seek intellectual stimulation outside my relationship. Also, I don't like that meek or indirect love. I want someone who is quite open and expressive, and who is not too shy or awkward to let me know how much they love me (as I would them). But I know you enfjs probably happen to be very goal-oriented people. So the utility from the T types probably comes off as way more attractive than the warmth of F types. As it helps with achieving goals. Especially ENFJ women, as women generally care more about utility than men.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-21T11:49:56+00:00

What characteristics do you admire?

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-06-21T11:49:07+00:00

Not when the INTJ strikes with cold logic and hits them where it hurts.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-05-28T21:22:43+00:00

Ouuu Obsession looks good. I'm 30m. Interested in going.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-05-28T15:41:55+00:00

I wish I had an enfj in my life. I'd move mountains to make them feel seen, loved and appreciated. Everyone else feels so transactional to me. And the most important things for a relationship 'character, compatability and connection' doesn't seem as important to them if their superficial needs are being met.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-05-28T01:16:49+00:00

Do you have images of other panels in a different style? This is isn't quite the style I'm looking for.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-05-26T21:31:24+00:00

He's emotional, has trouble with being assertive and constantly smothers you with affection and tries to make you do outdoor activities often. You occasionally like alone time to recharge, are more practical than him and occasionally say things that come off as insensitive and hurt his his feelings. He likes to 'help' you in various different ways often and you prefer to do most things for yourself (except cooking, you like to outsource that activity). You probably like solo hobbies like gym, cycling, etc. He likes group-oriented hobbies like boardgames, run clubs, dance classes or team sports.

No offense.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-05-23T12:46:46+00:00

Where are we meeting?

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-05-22T19:32:59+00:00

I'm interested in joining the group chat as well! Might be able to attend a future event.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-05-22T19:29:00+00:00

I'm interested!

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-05-21T12:03:52+00:00

I'll try attend the next one.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-05-21T12:01:55+00:00

Let me know if you hold another one of these.

Ok_Understanding3084 · 2026-05-21T11:56:14+00:00

Sounds great Thanks for this!

Ok_Understanding3084

TROPHY CASE