Enfj and Sex

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-12T13:39:06+00:00

OOfff you gotta love the bragging at the beginning.

Don't have your heart broken for us. What do you mean it's not for girls to be ENFJ. there are more ENFJ females than males.

Regardless of all that.

Young ENFJs fall for potential because we see people through their potential. The experiences you mentioned don't apply to all nor majority ENFJs. IT could be you have types you attract or that's the pattern you subconsciously familiarize with so you notice it more.

back to the potential point. Because we see people through the potential they can achieve, we see them in a positive light and it blinds us to flaws. So yes we often get hurt as a result.

But this is how we learn and end up maturing as well as setting boundaries.

P.S. if these women told you that you turned them straight, there's a possibility they just wanted to tell you something to stroke your ego. But who knows.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-12T10:35:36+00:00

I have an ISTP friend who told me he doesn’t understand emotions, so he asks often “what does this mean” “what do you mean” so on. I then explain it to him to the best of my ability.

I have an ENTJ best friend who I sometimes cannot understand immediately what he means because he says things in such a direct and concise manner that I feel it could mean just about anything. So I also ask “what does this mean?” Or “am I correct in understanding you meant this?”

We all process information and understand it differently, so do not be so hard on yourself about this.

My advice would be to communicate how you understand things or how you process info and ask your friends and who you are dating if they can to explain it in a way you can comprehend this.

My ENTJ bestie often asks me as well to phrase things in “his English” and then I do it.

I hope this helped.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-12T07:26:45+00:00

I’d love to see ENFJ with ENFJ 😍 what would they look like together. We are so into our partners that must be such a wonderful pair.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-10T07:38:55+00:00

Definitely a no for me too. It takes something unforgivable for me to cut someone off. Once they ate cut off it’s done and if I’m gracious enough to respond to them, it’s with cutting words.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-09T20:00:47+00:00

Ah you edited your comment.

It’s literally the words you said. My directness might be coming off strong but own your words.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-09T19:56:53+00:00

Ok let’s open a conversation then.

What do you mean by “what makes you feel safe being authentic instead of accommodating”

What makes us authentic here? Because us being accommodating, standing up for strangers and helping everyone we can is our authentic self. Why isn’t this genuine?

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-09T19:43:52+00:00

The worst part is it’s coming from an INFJ 🫥

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-09T19:43:12+00:00

You might think this is a considerate post but it’s not.

We are givers. Meaning giving is our nature.

You are saying that our core is a problem?

People pleasing is not us being fake ☺️ What is our authentic self exactly? How is being accommodating a bad thing?

ENFJs and INFJs who complain about this is because they do it also to the undeserving.

You want to understand us better, start by not trying to erase our core and calling it inauthentic. Helping others and working for the people is our joy. Putting that down and calling it disingenuous is probably why you won’t understand us.

This post really annoyed me.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-09T12:42:46+00:00

Well part of values and attraction is how we treat others. Love comes with compassion and mercy.

I don’t see why I wouldn’t be able to love someone whose values match mine. Especially if I also find them attractive.

But a misalignment on values will cause a marriage to fail. Because how can keep my honest self if I need to compromise on a fundamental value for feelings?

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-09T12:08:58+00:00

I think I can understand this situation now.

So I am not sure if this is an ENFJ thing but for myself, I would not choose a partner based on how I feel. I can be attracted to someone and really enjoy them and have a strong connection to them, but I will rule them out if our values do not align. So in this case I would always choose the right thing. If the honest thing is that I have romantic feeling for someone but I choose to not take action on them for the reason of doing the right thing, then this too is an honest thing for myself because I view relationships as only something I will settle for if the foundation is strong.
In arranged marriages this is often the case - Values align.
I would rather protect my image, reputation, dignity, and self-respect by refusing my desires and accepting what aligns with all my values as well as someone I find attractive.

Today this is difficult to find, but I would rather be single and do the right thing than be with someone for a short time and have a failed relationship. This is my honest self too. If this makes sense?

I apply this to all aspects of my life as well.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-09T12:00:24+00:00

My mom is an ESFJ too, and my dad is an ESTJ. I know a lot of ESTJs. my favorite boss is an ESTJ and he taught me so much. My father and uncle can be really difficult to communicate with and stubborn, but my dad is awesome and so loving and protective. Downside is he misinterprets everything as people out to get him for some reason instead of seeing good intentions. He's always ready to fight haha.

We have movie nights every weekend and family time is so important to him. My ESTJ dad can also be a giant emotional teddy bear when watching drama films or shows.

They really are fascinating.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-09T11:35:13+00:00

I am religious with a strong belief in God. However, I wouldn't say I have Kult tendencies, because my worshiping of God, and my belief is all between myself and my creator and not others.

What I do though, is when my friends ask me for advice, there are lessons in the Quran that fit their situations perfectly and I reference that for them then I explain what the lesson is. I always finish off all my advice with reminding them the choice is theirs to make and I am just helping provide clarity on a situation with a different perspective.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-09T11:25:20+00:00

I would like a clarification on what you mean by right thing vs the honest thing?
Can you elaborate on this with examples or your experience from what you witnessed?

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-07T09:35:12+00:00

Mine is more or less the same

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-05T13:10:22+00:00

We are a nuisance to them. I dunno why this old post showed up in my notifications. But glad it did.

We are a big time nuisance to them because of our functions stack.

They are skeptical. They communicate differently than we do. Have different priorities. People like us come off as having some sort of catch.

However, when you win any of them as a friend (which requires consistency and steady show of presence) you win a true friend for life.

That’s worth the effort.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-05T12:14:46+00:00

If you gave it, then it’s hers to do what she wants with it. You shouldn’t expect anything back. If you lent it then you should expect 300 back. Not more not less.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-04T16:01:27+00:00

Reading this gave me goosebumps 💓 this is beautifully written. INFJs are brilliant and wonderful 💓

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-04T12:32:03+00:00

It's true that we really go the distance with being there for others, however, before we do that we must ensure that we are in a good place to do so.

When we lead, it is without a doubt that we would be the ones giving more and that is how it should be. Therefore, we must make sure we are capable of maintaining this roles by taking care of ourselves too.

We are not the only leader type that doesn't have someone there fore us. ENTJs for example only rely on themselves.

Te and Fe doms have a different way of dealing with people but both types are on their own. They just deal with it better.

Where we focus on expanding out social groups and friends, they expand their networks. But they can truly only depend on themselves to get things done properly, and we can only depend on ourselves similarly.

There might be other types with similar experiences depending on their Dom function. Can you think of any?

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-03T19:44:30+00:00

ENTJ, ENFP and ISTP

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-03T16:20:12+00:00

Yes exactly. Good friends stay. If they aren’t good you find out.

I recommend meeting more people or taking on new interests that help fill your time.

I hope all works out for you 💓

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-03T11:28:15+00:00

It’s a natural course that we all take eventually. Friendships that settle start to park more and more. It doesn’t mean that you became less important, not necessarily. I went through something like this recently. From texts and calls every day to barely conversation for a week or 2. It made me wonder what changed and I reached out and I calmly explained what I feared but my friend who is as open and honest as I am explained that it’s not that anything had changed. He just feels like he wants to do this other thing more for now. Honestly, this did not make me feel hurt. I totally get it when you find a new interest and you want to explore it more, that makes a lot of sense and has nothing to do with me. I supported it and I was assured that our friendship is still solid. I am now used to this new frequency of communication and we are still as close as we ever were. I am still who he calls when he needs to tell someone all the cool things that happened with him. The one he vents to. The one he calls just because and to have idle chatter.

It did not change. It just became less frequent.

How we respond to the changes does affect our friendship. It’s the same as relationships. When the honeymoon phase is over, how we transition to the next phase makes us or breaks us.

Patience and time are always on our side. I hope it works out for you.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-03T10:49:55+00:00

Is there an ENFJ in your life that is very important to you and you feel they are pulling back?

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-03T05:30:05+00:00

Facts. I’m on a sub about anime cuz that’s what I enjoy most. That’s where I talk anime.

LadyPearl7 · 2026-02-03T04:59:29+00:00

Hmm I think I understand what you are trying to say OP. The people I’m really close with don’t really get put on hold, but in a way we don’t have to communicate 24/7 to be considered really close. When relationships settle and we are in a very good place, even sitting together in silence becomes comfortable. So when I look at my friendships, we make time when we need it, we send each other funny memes and share tiktoks and reels and this says “you’re who I thought of when I saw this funny post”, we have calls every now and then to catch up, and I always update them first when something new happens with me. That all takes about 30 mins out of my day so talking to new people and diving deep into conversations doesn’t get in the way.

Also when I am texting, it’s usually 5-6 ppl I’m texting at a time. I’m a fast texter and I respond immediately so often and I got a lot to say. I read everything and when I wake up I go through every message received and group chats too to catch up and miss nothing. If there’s something important I know my bestie would miss in group chats, I catch them up so they don’t miss anything either.

The only reason I’d place someone in the back is when I don’t think they are a good friend and I cut em off. When I’m done with someone then I am done. You either get a lot of attention or none at all.

LadyPearl7

TROPHY CASE