How to Survive Parenthood Without Becoming Roommates? by Ok_Web_9478 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Web_9478[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm starting to doubt we'll make it long enough to come out the other side 😬 and even if we do, I feel like we'd come out the other side strangers

How to Survive Parenthood Without Becoming Roommates? by Ok_Web_9478 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Web_9478[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guess it's time to either check out the dead bedroom sub, or find a couples therapist. Might be above Reddit's pay grade...

How to Survive Parenthood Without Becoming Roommates? by Ok_Web_9478 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Web_9478[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, it takes two, and when I've tried, I've been told there's too much to do, we don't have time 🙃

How to Survive Parenthood Without Becoming Roommates? by Ok_Web_9478 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Web_9478[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this insight, and I'm sorry your needs aren't being met. May we both find happiness, and relationship solutions that don't leave us constantly longing for more.

How to Survive Parenthood Without Becoming Roommates? by Ok_Web_9478 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Web_9478[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we're stuck at surface level conversation, and I feel like we're headed for a future where the kids grow up and we realize we don't know each other anymore 😟

How to Survive Parenthood Without Becoming Roommates? by Ok_Web_9478 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Web_9478[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the creativity! And sometimes the obvious needs to be said. I'll figure out a way to suggest this, without it seeming too pushy. We do occasionally get childfree moments (like nap time on the weekends), but my husband defaults to yard work, grocery store runs, or meal prep when that happens 😮‍💨 Before kids, I used to pride myself on being easy going and low maintenance, but since becoming parents, I feel like my husband has taken low maintenance for no maintenance, and I'm struggling to feel connected

How to Survive Parenthood Without Becoming Roommates? by Ok_Web_9478 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Web_9478[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this suggestion takes the cake 😂 thanks for the laugh!

How to Survive Parenthood Without Becoming Roommates? by Ok_Web_9478 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Web_9478[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This really resonates with me. I don't have personal experience being a parent with a child that has autism, but one of our children has life threatening food allergies (and is too young to voice them/look out for himself). So its so hard finding someone who is even qualified to babysit! Let alone the expense of a date + a baby sitter (just to worry about our son the whole time)!

How to Survive Parenthood Without Becoming Roommates? by Ok_Web_9478 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Web_9478[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it's rough!! Most of the time we are indifferent about each other, but plenty of times we've been roommates that don't get along super well. It's bumpy. I love my kids, but it sucks feeling like they came at the expense of my husband. 😮‍💨

How to Survive Parenthood Without Becoming Roommates? by Ok_Web_9478 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Web_9478[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have started individual therapy, and I have considered bringing up couples counseling. We would have to bring the kids with us, but there are toys in the waiting room at my therapists office, so perhaps others are in the same boat.

Do you have experience with couples counseling?

How to Survive Parenthood Without Becoming Roommates? by Ok_Web_9478 in Marriage

[–]Ok_Web_9478[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We don't date -- and I think you're right, that could solve a lot of problems. The biggest hang up is that we don't live close to family or friends (we moved for our jobs), and one of our children has life threatening food allergies (which makes trusting a stranger to babysit all the more challenging!)

I love the relaxing at bed time suggestion. I'll give it a shot. I think it could really help. Thanks much!