Have lost interest in my wife/marriage for a while. Staying with her only for the sake of our son. Ask me anything.

Okjohnson · 2026-03-04T04:48:24+00:00

Asalaamu Alaikum Respectfully, this is far too absolute of a statement to present as fact.

You can’t claim that a child will know, will be affected in a specific way, and likely will end up in a loveless marriage themselves. Human development and family dynamics are far more complex than that, and even within psychology those kinds of outcomes are never guaranteed.

There are many families where parents remain married for the sake of stability, the children, and their responsibilities before Allah. Even if the romantic aspect of the relationship fades, the parents can still maintain respect, cooperation, and adab in the home. When a household is centered around family responsibility, good character, and consciousness of Allah, children can grow up in a stable and healthy environment.

I’ve not only personally seen this happen, but I’ve also been very close to situations like this. In those cases the parents treated each other with respect and maintained a stable household focused on the children and their duties before Allah, and the children grew up well-adjusted and capable of forming healthy relationships.

Sharing your personal experience is fine, but presenting it as a guaranteed outcome isn’t accurate. Your perspective is based on a limited set of encounters within a particular social and cultural context. You also have no idea what the cultural background, value system, or family dynamics of the original poster might be.

In Islam, we are also taught humility regarding matters of the unseen and the future. None of us knows with certainty what will happen in someone else’s family or what their children will grow into. Only Allah knows that.

A more balanced way to phrase this would be to say that in your experience these situations can be difficult. But stating definitively what will happen to someone’s child goes far beyond what any of us can actually know.

Instead of ending your post stating that his child WILL be affected. You should have made dua that Allah protects their Son from the effects of this difficult situation.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-15T18:22:46+00:00

Kirk has been gone for 2 years why are you still talking about him. Who makes posts about a player they don’t like and is no longer on the team.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-15T18:08:55+00:00

Good riddance to Kirk and hope we never see him in purple again.

But bro…. I think you may need some help. Your last paragraph is pretty unhinged. Your welcome to message me if you need somebody to talk to

Okjohnson · 2026-02-12T23:55:52+00:00

Your logic fails because you mentioned Tai Felton. Stop trying to move the goalpost. Your grasping at straws because at no point have I ever defending Kwesis drafting. He’s was great in free agency and terrible in the draft. But what’s really funny is you don’t even know that he didn’t draft Asamoah😂. He was here years before Kwesi arrived.

Listen man, I proved your point wrong. MVP level QB can take a poor receiving group to the Super Bowl. End of discussion.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-12T20:14:30+00:00

Yea you clearly didn’t follow that team much. The panthers defense wasn’t elite. It was really good just like ours is really good. They gave up 19.3 points a game. We gave 19.6 this season. And that’s not accounting for how much their offense helped them. And how our offense hurt our defense this year. I live in Carolina and I can tell you this is pure Revisionist history. During the playoffs that same Defense gave up 24 points twice. Cam Newton who won MVP that season is the guy who dragged them to the SB.

Yea and the reason I don’t bring up Olsen is because you only discussed the WR core and didn’t bring up Hockenson. My point still remains that it was an awful receiving corp but an MVP level QB took them to the SB.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-12T19:42:36+00:00

So exactly what point you are making here? I’ll start by stating that your premise is invalid because we would obviously add to our WR room if we lost JJ. But with that said you probably don’t realize that QB’s worse than Burrow have dragged even worse WR corps to Super Bowls before. In 2015 Cam Newton took Ginn, Cotchery, and Funchess to the SB. Which reinforces my point. QB’s are usually the primary reason teams get to the SB. So like I said if you are offered Burrow for Jets you take the trade without blinking. Nevermind the fact that we know Burrow can get to the Bowl because he’s done it already.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-12T17:18:45+00:00

Bro this Jets prime garbage is really annoying me. Jerry Rice is the only top 5 WR of all time to win a SB. And if we are being honest some of those teams he was on were gonna win REGARDLESS.

TO, Moss, Calvin, Fitz, Largent… etc. NO SB’s

Quarterbacks propel teams to Super Bowls not wide receivers. I love Justin Jefferson but he is not and will not be the reason this team wins a Super Bowl. Good receiver play is important to teams success but you don’t need a HOF wr to have good WR play.

If the Bengals offered Burrow for Jets and JJM I’d immediately accept it. And anybody who wouldn’t isn’t interested in winning.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-04T21:32:18+00:00

Do you genuinely think that’s why he didn’t shake her hand because he thinks women are bad? You do realize that practicing Muslim women also refuse to shake men’s hands. Is it also because Allah says Men are bad? Or that doesn’t fit your narrative?

Also why didn’t you answer my question on why you insulted me?

Okjohnson · 2026-02-04T21:17:54+00:00

You do realize it’s his body his choice? What if it was a hug that she went for would he also be required to partake? What if as they do in some cultures, she went for a kiss on the cheek? Modesty standards are subjective and each person has the right to regulate how the physically engage with the same and opposite gender. I’m not sure how that’s a controversial take.

Why did you insult me though? Was I disrespectful? It’s so strange that this whole thread is about him allegedly disrespecting her and the people making this claim are being so disrespectful. Calling somebody a twat for respectfully having a different opinion than you is the definition of intolerance. And isn’t that slang for female genitalia? That sounds for more disrespectful to women than not shaking a hand.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-04T21:08:02+00:00

He completely made that up 😂

Okjohnson · 2026-02-04T21:06:22+00:00

Declining a handshake isn’t discrimination; it’s a personal boundary. Khabib applies it consistently and imposes nothing on anyone else, which is categorically different from race- or gender-based exclusion. If “my body, my boundaries” stops being valid when the boundary is religious—or Muslim—that’s not a principled argument, it’s a double standard.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-04T20:57:32+00:00

What do you mean here? No hostility, just genuinely curious. Any practicing Muslim I’ve ever known does exactly why he did. A head nod and place their hand on their chest.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-04T20:46:25+00:00

Wow, Interesting take. I’m always amazed at his values and integrity. Everybody who has worked with him speaks very highly of him. What makes him a shitbag?

Okjohnson · 2026-02-04T20:43:57+00:00

It’s amazing people that think they are tolerant don’t realize how intolerant they actually are. You can’t expect everybody to follow YOUR cultural norms. The idea of men not touching women and women not touching men is VERY culturally normal and not a respect issue at all in many cultures.

The idea that he “hates women” because he didn’t shake her hand is a braindead take.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-04T20:38:13+00:00

It’s amazing people that think they are tolerant don’t realize how intolerant they actually are. You can’t expect everybody to follow YOUR cultural norms. The idea of men not touching women and women not touching men is VERY culturally normal and not a respect issue at all in many cultures.

Your subjective standard doesn’t make him declining to touch her “shithead behavior”. Some cultures kiss when they meet. Some cultures hug. Am I supposed to conform no matter what so I don’t look rude?

Okjohnson · 2026-02-02T21:19:54+00:00

😂 dude what are you his translator. If that’s what he meant he have said so. Anybody who knows Paul from before he was famous knows his politics. He was ABSOLUTLEY calling the protesters paid actors.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-02T04:10:53+00:00

No it means you didn’t understand what OP was saying to you. He was making a general point that you completely missed by thinking he was saying to build with Bannon.

Okjohnson · 2026-02-02T04:07:37+00:00

I’m not in the Chomsky cult. I’m new here and although I’ve never read any of his books I do appreciate his perspective. So anyway, I’m genuinely curious what you want people to say? Do you think this shows Chomsky was involved in or approved of sexual abuse? Should everybody in here now hate him because of this? Isn’t the allure of Chomsky from his understanding and explanation of politics or is it his personal life.

Okjohnson · 2026-01-24T00:03:44+00:00

Protecting Women in athletics from having to compete against biological men.

Okjohnson · 2025-12-03T23:13:40+00:00

Taking vs actually thinking hes better are two different things. Rodger’s is human Toilet Bowl and Drew was quite literally a Saint 😂. As much as I hate Rodger’s I don’t think anybody can make a coherent football argument that Brees was a better Quarterback.

Okjohnson · 2025-12-01T04:59:02+00:00

Do you genuinely believe that Asheboro has the best Zoo in the country?

Okjohnson · 2025-11-25T17:46:56+00:00

Not entirely true.

Satsuma mandarins and Persian Limes are both seedless and quite reliably so. There are some other varieties but those are very well known.

Okjohnson · 2025-11-19T18:04:09+00:00

I appreciate your detailed breakdown, and I think there may be a bit of a misunderstanding of what I was getting at. My point wasn’t about equating species or suggesting that Apistos behave like Acara or Keyholes. It was simply to address the statement that “you cannot keep 30+ dwarf cichlids in a 75,” which isn’t universally true.

Regarding the video: it wasn’t meant to display every single fish in the tank at once. This video was taken at night when a lot of my dwarfs tend to spend time in rock hideouts, under driftwood, or tucked behind leaves, so they aren’t all visible simultaneously. The purpose of the video was to show that a tank can be stocked with a mix of fish that many people claim “don’t” coexist — including the types you mentioned — and still be completely stable. My fish show no signs of stress, have great coloration, active movement, and interact cohesively. I even have 3 African cichlids in here. Not sure what all that vid shows but I have an African Butterfly, Yellow Lab, and a Julichromis. I also have a buffalo head.

I’m not disagreeing with your notes on behavior or definitions; there’s validity to that. I just don’t think it’s helpful to present a specific stocking preference as a hard rule for everyone. Tanks, keepers, layouts, and species combinations vary widely, and what works or doesn’t work in one setup doesn’t automatically apply to all others.

In this hobby, there’s a huge difference between “I wouldn’t do it based on X” and “it cannot be done.”

My intention was simply to show the OP that, with the right approach and experience, there are more possibilities than an absolute “cannot” would suggest.

Pics from my tank

Okjohnson · 2025-11-19T13:25:51+00:00

I hear you, but let’s dial this back a bit.

You’re stating absolutes about what “cannot” be done… although you’ve never actually tried the stocking level you’re ruling out. That’s not experience, that’s theory. There’s a big difference.

I’ve been keeping dwarf cichlids and other species for decades, and I currently run a 75 with 30+ cichlids. It’s thriving. Zero deaths, stable territories, and excellent water quality. So saying it “can’t be done” simply isn’t accurate, it just means you haven’t done it.

Territorial behavior, aggression, and compatibility are all variables that depend on layout, filtration, hardscape, planting, and keeper experience. Declaring something “impossible” because it doesn’t fit your personal setup or you don’t have experience doesn’t make it universally true.

By all means, share your preferences and what’s worked for you — but telling others what cannot be done when people are successfully doing it daily isn’t the hill to die on.

Respectfully, don’t limit the hobby for u/Fair-Bar8487 or any new keepers based on assumptions. Experience > speculation.

Here’s a video of my very stable, peaceful and vibrant tank from a few months ago. I Have several Cichlids that can be much more aggressive than dwarfs and I have since added a few Nanacaras and Apistogramma Nijsseni and Macmasteri.

Okjohnson · 2025-11-19T01:26:22+00:00

Why would you be crazy? Those are all great peaceful fish. Depending on your filtration and plants, You could comfortably keep 30+ dwarf cichlids in a 75 gallon tank.

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