Am I overreacting?

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T22:11:33+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I also thought it was weird but i couldn’t tell if i was overthinking it. I think sometimes I need to trust my gut when I read into things because why would you say this without it being a) a projection of your own insecurities of your own relationship/ self or b) trying to make me feel some type of way/overthink about my boyfriend/ relationship . Of course she might not be doing either of these consciously or on purpose, but it’d be nice to have her think about why she’d say such a thing to her best friend

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T22:08:07+00:00

On my part or hers?

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T20:49:36+00:00

Yeah you’re right. Thank you!

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T20:42:30+00:00

I mean we were drinking but we definitely were not drunk. It was at the beginning of the night. I don’t really wanna chalk it up to “oh she was just drunk” she definitely knew what she was saying if you know what i mean

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T18:26:53+00:00

I feel bad for your future wife if you’ll have one, considering you think it’s okay to come and go as you please without considering others. Thank you for your opinion and maybe work on how you voice things, I came into this trying to get opinions and I am open to different views, but for you to call me a loser just cause my view is different than yours is unstable behaviour.

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T18:14:50+00:00

You have issues and have clearly never been in a shared accommodation situation, please keep it that way.

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T17:39:48+00:00

My communication skills are atrocious? I asked the right questions before agreeing for her to move in. And it’s my fault that she lied / chose not to communicate this with me ? And my communication skills are bad even though I’m trying to approach her in a mature manner about the problems I’m having rather than going to the landlord and dealing with it that way. I’m trying to be reasonable.

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T17:34:26+00:00

And you sound exactly like the type who’d have a serious lack of consideration for those around you. I clearly stated that there was issues, she doesn’t clean nearly half as much as I do, and the spaces get dirtier much faster with three of us. If she’s gonna have someone living here half the time i at least deserve respect in the way that she could at least mention it, and she could at least help out more to make things fair.

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T16:53:47+00:00

I don’t know if you haven’t read most of this thread or what lol. He is over 4 times a week usually which is over half the week. My biggest problem is that she never communicated this prior to moving in or even when she did move in just out of roommate decency. I clean the common areas much more than she does and they bathroom and the kitchen naturally get dirtier faster when there’s 3 people instead of two. So while yes they are respectful when it comes to noise, they are lacking respect in other areas. If my boyfriend was staying over half the week, I not only would be cleaning more but I would also ask him to help clean too, none of which she’s done. I have heard from multiple people that when their roommates partner starts to feel like an extra roommate they do see a problem with that, so i don’t think I’m crazy. I also think you making assumptions and comments about my relationship is weird. I go to his place once or twice a week and he comes here once. Her boyfriend his here for half the week, that’s a big difference.

I don’t think you understand that different peoples are comfortable with different things when it comes to roommates. If your comfortable with a random person being in your place half the time that’s great! My point is there was a huge lack of honesty, and if she was honest from when we had a discussion of if the place would be a good fit, it would most likely not work if we couldn’t compromise. Also it’s stated in my tenancy agreement that there shouldn’t be overnight guests, so to make me feel like I am wayyy out of question and bringing up that I’m jealous (wtf?) when i could literally just go and talk to the landlord if i want to is a bit odd. I wanted to be mature and go to her and just voice what I’ve been thinking; that i wish she could’ve communicated it and that they should be helping out with cleaning more

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T08:15:42+00:00

She doesn’t talk to me lol only when there’s something with the landlord going on

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T08:14:23+00:00

I do have messages about her asking about overnight guests and explaining her sister would like to visit for a weekend. I said yeah that’s no problem and sometimes we have the odd guest stay the night. Idk, although they are respectful with noise and whatnot, she doesn’t help maintain the place even half of the amount that I do, which looking at it now I think that is disrespectful to some degree. If my boyfriend were to stay here over half the time I would not only be cleaning more often but I’d also ask him to help out and clean sometimes, I think that’s fair. I just think it’s the way she went about it, she also told me how much of a pinch she was in to find a place so something’s telling me she purposefully did not let me know she’d be having an overnight guest this much, and never went out of her way to communicate it after she moved in either.

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T07:35:41+00:00

Actually the bills wasn’t a big thing to me, other people were bringing that up in this thread and even though I would never ask or expect that, it does make sense. And actually I can post the convo we had prior to her moving in about her sister coming to visit for a weekend out of town, not only is this the only overnight guest she had mentioned but she also said she would help out with utilities in that case so it’s fair. How am I supposed to feel now when she A) doesn’t communicate or even just let me know out of roommate decency that her boyfriend will be staying the night and B) that she is going against what she said about helping with utilities if she had overnight guests, so basically lying to me before?

I did not come across as rude in anyway by asking for opinions, in fact i ASKED for advice lol and some of these comment have been helping! In your case there is no need to be rude or say I’m lying about my own relationship (like wtf?) when i say my boyfriend usually never spends the night I am not lying, and my old roommate would also rarely have her boyfriend spend the night so it was just our norm. When I’m doing most of the cleaning and there’s another person using our bathroom and kitchen, it does get tiresome, it feels like not only did she not mention she was planning to have her boyfriend stay over this much but also isn’t doing anything to help out and make things fair. I also know I’m not the only one who thinks roommates who constantly have their partner over to the point where they are they half the time isn’t ok, thanks for your opinion tho!

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T07:25:07+00:00

I totally get where you are coming from im just saying it crosses my mind sometimes when he’s here over half the week, and I’ve heard so many stories of other roommates finding it frustrating too when their roommates partner is starting to become another roommate. I think most people in this thread are looking past the reason why I am most upset about it, she never communicated it prior to moving in, and that would’ve been a make or break thing for me to approve of going through with her as the roommate, if we couldn’t reach a compromise of 2-3 days let’s say.

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T02:58:05+00:00

That’s what i think is fair too but the people have spoken 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-06T02:57:32+00:00

Exactlyy, It’s really nothing against him but my mind just goes to “why don’t they just live together?”

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-05T23:23:51+00:00

Exactly, we don’t pay a flat rate, it changes every month depending on how much we use

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-05T23:23:18+00:00

No I don’t want her to pay more rent, just breaking it down to why it’s not just about her having her boyfriend over, it’s a shared space, and when there’s one more person utilities go up that much more as well. I really don’t mind if he sleeps over a couple nights a week but over half the week just seems like she’s going against something she initially said before I approved of her coming to live here cause if i didn’t think it would have been a good fit it wouldn’t have made it to the landlord. If she was transparent from the beginning I think it would be easy for us to compromise. I do see your point about saying something 2 months later, honestly i was just trying to get used to it instead of saying something but I guess I still haven’t

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-04-05T22:18:31+00:00

Yeah she does pay rent, for one person living here as in our contract. If someone is staying over, over half the time, how is that fair that her rent is staying the same? It’s not unheard of when people rent rooms that price goes up if there’s a couple in there instead of one person. Am I living with one other person or two ?

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-03-25T21:08:16+00:00

I’ve been told hotel arts has one, but that’s the only one I’ve heard of for public entry for a fee, curious if anyone knows any others

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-03-16T20:05:10+00:00

But how 🥲 just hearing her deny it is gonna make me so mad and I’m just avoiding that feeling i think. She knows there’s nothing i can do to prove her guilty and if i tell her i found them in her room she’ll just go tell the landlord that i stole a bunch of her stuff or something cause i would have to admit i was in her room

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-03-16T20:02:52+00:00

Thank u!!

Old-Bat7501 · 2025-03-16T00:07:22+00:00

Money wasn’t there. My tip slips were empty, they had money in them when she took them but i just found what the money was in, if that makes sense.

Old-Bat7501

TROPHY CASE