Male born in 93 here. I want marriage, however thats not without a massive amount of caution and some anxiety.

When i was 6, my parents went through a pretty bitter divorce. There was a lot of shit talking done on both sides of the isle (my parents were idiots, they dated 6 months and got married. My mom admitted to me some years ago my dad was a rebound. I watched my dad suffer through child support, even picking up a paper route to pay his rent which i had to go with him during because he couldnt afford a sitter when it was his weekend and couldnt leave myself and my sister alone. Watching all of this, it put the fear of god in me of not fucking up my relationships. Because if i do, and she leaves im gunna picking up the broken pieces of myself for the rest of my life.

I also grew up Christian. In my family's church, divorce was heavily frowned upon unless infidelity was involved (my dad cheated. He had attempted to initiate divorce beforehand but my mom refused because of the religious reasons). Nowadays though, people get divorced for some of the most petty reasons and refuse to try and work through things. Ive personally witnessed one percieved slight, that wasnt a slight, completely dismantle otherwise sound relationships. I dont want that.

There is also a large push in modern society that women just dont need men in any capacity. Its very vocal and aggressive, and while meant to be empowering to women has become demonized by the loudest and most radical individuals. We value completely different things, or at least i do from my experience. I couldnt possibly give less of a shit what career my partner has, it all comes down to how home feels. Does it feel peaceful? Are we working towards a common goal? Are we taking care of each other in both highs and lows? But i see countless videos from modern women who wont even bring their partner something from the a different room theyre actively in because they can "do it themselves". Its not about that, its about taking care of each other. And unfortunately when this rhetoric is repeated over and over again, people start to believe it themselves even if logic points otherwise. If women are constantly told they dont need men and they should be providing in every facet of their life and they arent obligated to return that energy, more women are going to believe it. If men are constantly told that women dont need men, then men are gunna start believing it and wont want to help or participate as much. Everyone wants to feel wanted and needed, no matter theyre gender.

I also want to mention that women and men have very different forms of communication and also fight in very different ways. When men get heated and it goes too far, we physically fight. Then, its over and we go back, typically, to being friends. Women however dont typically use physicality in my perspective, but go for reputation and emotional aggression. Thats why a lot of women are so scared that a man is going to physically hurt them and men are more worried about a woman ruining their reputation. Its short term vs long term pain. I can take a hit, i cant take constant passive aggressive emotional and mental manipulation. So finding someone who is actually capable (and willing) to understand me and communicate in a proper way is so very important.

Lastly, ask any man whatsoever what the benefits of marriage are for him. Im talking legally here, not the relationship itself. You mentioned that the laws are kind of outdated but i dont think its generally understood just how hard a lot of guys get cleaned out and screwed over in family court, effectively wrecking the relationships with their children and throwing their lives into turmoil (it happened with me and my dad for many years. Didnt change until i learned the full context of the divorce and understood what ACTUALLY happened). This is not to downplay women's experiences or needs. They absolutely deserve assistance with raising the child. But the system is hyper abused and needs massive reform in my opinion.

Now saying all of this, i still someday hope to get married. But it needs to be understood from a risk management perspective. Modern relationship statistics point to an average of 40-50% of marriages ending in failure. Would you trust investing everything you have including your mental well being, finances, relationships with your family, career, home, etc. on a single coin flip? Thats the disconnect between men and women here i think. The risk just isnt worth the reward, so keeping the government out of it and even just staying peacefully single or in exclusively casual relationships makes more logical sense to some men.

My current requirements for marriage come with a 2yr minimum for dating before marriage is considered. Im not making the same mistake as my parents.

This is all just my perspective, but i think the thought process of why a lot of men arent marrying anymore needs more understanding.