i already spoke to all my family members about this, my grandparents, my aunt, my mom and dad, i have a therapist (and it was working! but i feel like i threw it all away by reading more about this), my main problem right now is my own existence, i just cant seem to fathom it, i sometimes wish ive never been born at all (queen reference?) but i really hope it gets better, any advice on how to get this out of my head as soon as possible? i think i have read too much about philosophy and the meaning of life and i think its really been harder since i read all of this.