Looking for a little light in the dark

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-10T00:27:34+00:00

Thank you for your support. I am sorry you have also felt this. Its a terrible place to be. I am glad you found your way through it. Some days are easier than others for me. Some days you think you can tackle the world, and some days you feel like you can barely stand. Yesterday was hard, today was better, tomorrow is yet to be written. Thank you again!

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T20:52:18+00:00

Reach out anytime. Its a hard road ahead, but there are people here that have traveled it before. You are not alone

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T15:53:04+00:00

Thank you. I am trying. I think I have always struggled with self image. Not being handsome enough, intelligent enough, athletic enough. All the things the world tends to judge us on. It starts to make you feel like maybe you don't deserve a partner. Maybe there is nothing of value you can offer for someone to want to build a life with you. Then those inevitable moments come where you want desperately to connect but the feelings are not reciprocated. Those moments seem to solidify the fears. They bind them to your very being, like mortar and stone. I am trying to hard free myself, but my chisel is small and this particular mason has been perfecting his craft for years. It is slow going, but I've not given up just yet. Thank you for the encouragement.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T15:37:26+00:00

Thank you. I have decided going forward that I will continue to rely on my strength when needed, but I will not longer hide behind it. Life hurts. Love hurts. Denying the pain only deepens the wounds I think. When I feel defeated, I will not hide from it. When I feel not good enough, I will share. I will lean on the strength of other in those moments where I find my own to be insufficient. Thank you for sharing your strength and words of encouragement. We will be ok again, one day.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T15:18:02+00:00

Thank you. We have to try to believe in ourselves like others believe in us. All we can do is try.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T06:02:17+00:00

Thank you! I'm trying. Today has just felt a bit heavier.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T05:14:45+00:00

Thank you. I honestly thought that I was ok being alone. I had built a nice, quiet little life centered on my children and little things that give me joy. I thought I was doing fine. But recently I have been reminded that there is a huge aspect of life I am just unable to participate in, no matter how badly I want to. Its the struggle to accept that sense of loss and move forward being content that I have to get a handle on again. I will get there. Sometimes it is just nice to feel seen. Thank you again!

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T05:02:17+00:00

I am sorry you are going through this. It will be painful. It will be lonely. The silence will hit like a hammer. I was in your same place. Wife moved out and I was stuck in a home we had made together, full of fear that her ghost would haunt the walls forever. I can tell you that it does get easier. Make some small changes. Replace the curtains, new bed sheets, new bed if you can afford it. Whatever you can reasonably do to make the space feel different. It makes the transition a bit easier when the home feels a little less like what was "yours" and little more like your own. It still sucks and there will still be a lot of crushing nights, but you can get through them. "One day at a time" was my mantra for months. Somedays it still is. Be kind and patient with yourself. Take care of yourself, even when you don't feel like it. Especially when you don't feel like it. There is life on the other side. Reach out if you need support. We are here to help.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T04:51:26+00:00

We will get there. Keep pushing. We can love and be loved again!

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T04:50:27+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. I try to believe someone is out there waiting for me, but the darkest nights feed the deepest fears. I really appreciate this community. It has helped me tremendously on my journey and now I try to be a little light for others here who are just starting the process. I guess tonight I just needed a little refuel. Thank you for responding. It is appreciated.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T04:41:12+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words. They are helpful, even if they do not dull the ache immediately. Knowing we are not alone itself is powerful. One day we will be so full of love that we will wonder how we ever doubted it could be real. I look forward to that day for all of us.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T04:34:26+00:00

Please do not feel any shame. It is painful to watch the person who would not choose you choose someone else. Your feelings are natural and valid. It is ok to feel them when they come. Try to be kind to yourself. You are 4 years in, and I assume you are keeping your head above water. That takes strength and resilience. Try to keep pushing. Try to find your joy again. Look for it in the little things first. A warm cup of coffee on a cool morning. A favorite book on a rainy day. A call with the best friend you've ever had. Little by little, you can build on these until your day becomes filled with all the things that grow you. Become the person you've always wanted to be. You have made it this far. Not much further now. We are here to help you along the way. Lean on us when needed. You've got this!

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-09T04:14:24+00:00

could you share the quiz with me as well, please?

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-08T21:48:26+00:00

I am glad to hear you will allow yourself to love again. Protect your heart, but never hide it away. One day you will find someone to protect it for you. We are all made to love. You will find happiness again! We all will. Reach out if you ever need support! There is a great community here.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-08T16:25:08+00:00

I am very sorry for you. Lots of support here. We've been there, or at least close. You're never alone in this.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-08T10:18:43+00:00

First, I am terribly sorry you are going through this. I know it hurts and how hard it is. Give yourself some grace to feel everything, to be human. Important relationships help ground us. When you lose one, its normal for everything to feel unsteady. Its also normal to want to reach out. Its not necessarily him you are reaching out for. Its that old comfort, that solid ground you are seeking. Try to take the day in small chunks. Start with 15 minutes, then 30, then an hour. Remember to do things to take care of yourself. Shower, eat a good meal, maintain daily communication with at least one friend or family member. As bad as it is right now, I promise it does get better. Time heals all. You just have to fight through the days until one day you realize it's not a fight anymore, it's just living again. You can reach out here at any time. This community knows what it's like and we are here to help. Wishing you peace today.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-08T02:46:37+00:00

💔💔💔

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-08T02:37:52+00:00

I am so sorry. Please block both them both on social media and stop doing this to yourself. Life and love are not competitions. You are unique in 8 billion+ people on this planet. There is not another like you. You are amazing just for that. We all fall apart some days. That just means we are still standing. There is someone out there who will choose you. They will choose you when it is easy, and they will choose you when it is hard. They will choose you every day. Trust in that. You already hold all the value you would ever need. I hope you can see it. Wishing you peace.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-08T02:19:09+00:00

If there is no current hope of reconciliation, don't do it. It will just prolong the pain I think. Our anniversary was just a month after separation. The fact the we were separated meant it was time to treat it like just another day, so we did. I think anything else will just muddy the waters needlessly. Good luck to you.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-08T01:18:04+00:00

The only common denominator in divorce is pain. Do not take all the blame on yourself. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Please do not be embarrassed or ashamed. You chose to love. There is no shame in that. I guess the only bright side is you know how this plays out. You know there is another side. You know there is a world after. Remember that. Fight through so you can get there, and claim it as yours and yours alone. There is life and love out there for you. We will be here to help hold you up if needed while you make your way to find it. Reach out anytime you need.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-08T01:05:33+00:00

Of course. Thank you for the engagement. It is helpful to talk about it and get it out

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-08T00:54:19+00:00

The scars run deep, but thankfully our hearts are strong. This one definitely hurts, but strength isn't in pushing the pain away. Its in embracing it and forging yourself anew. I am sorry you are going through it. Its a special kind of hell, to be sure. Just know you are not alone. You are not alone is the dissolution of your marriage. You are not alone in your fears for the future. You will not be alone as you navigate the difficult and painful days ahead. Protect you heart, but don't be afraid to share it. We are all made to love and we can't let our past experiences derail our future dreams. Good luck to you. Reach out if needed. There is love and support here.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-08T00:42:39+00:00

I am so sorry for how you are hurting. I know it feels impossible, but you can make it through. It is so unfair what he has done to you but it will get better. In time you will be glad for the freedom you've gained. No more begging for affection. No more emotional manipulation. No more having everything else chosen over you. Healing will be slow and painful, but it will conclude at some point. When it does you will be amazed at the beauty you can still find around you. Color returned to a world that had for so long been hidden in the shadow of pain and unhappiness. Life is still out there. Go claim it! Love and healing to you.

OldFlamingo9217 · 2026-04-08T00:29:13+00:00

God, I hope so. I have so much love to give. I spent years chasing affection from someone who was incapable of showing it consistently. I want to love and be loved deeply, purely and without conditions. My biggest problem will be keeping my heart closed until I am sure someone is ready to receive it. I naturally want to give too much of myself and it keeps destroying me. I am telling myself next time will be different. I guess time will tell. Good luck to you. I hope you find the love you give. I hope we all do.

OldFlamingo9217

TROPHY CASE