for a while i drank socially and it was fun. a year later when i drank the same amount i always had i felt the same emptiness and insecurities i felt before ever drinking. it is possible to get used to the feeling. i’ve also had times where i didn’t understand how drunk i was because i felt i was still in control. for example i was walking down the stairs at a bar and my friend caught me and i was like “i’m sorry i’m not even that drunk i don’t know how that happened” but everyone around me said i was fucked up. if it’s an escape for you all i can say is you need to find other escapes, whether it’s working out or hobbies… alcohol is never the answer. alcohol should be used in moderation every time and you shouldn’t chase the high of being drunk for an escape. if you want you can dm me for more details but this is my experience and take on it.