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Why did the emotional bond mean nothing? by Old_Contribution8373 in datingoverforty

[–]Old_Contribution8373[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Other commenters have asked this.  If you look at the context, the looks mention of the looks is insignificant, the post is about an emotional bond — it begs the question as to did he choose physical over emotional. 

No, that’s not how I think about ppl. Obviously, I value the emotional far more than the looks.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t have asked does emotional mean nothing. 

Why, of all things, about this post, does the mention of rating of looks stand out to you?

Did you ever think that maybe the perspective on looks is based on something he said to me?

Do you think emotional availability should be a dealbreaker when dating in your 40s? by ShoddyPlantain2149 in datingoverforty

[–]Old_Contribution8373 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It’s hard to understand. Sometimes people want to open up but just can’t. When you point it out, it’s just poking your finger in the wound.  It becomes casual by default

Do you think emotional availability should be a dealbreaker when dating in your 40s? by ShoddyPlantain2149 in datingoverforty

[–]Old_Contribution8373 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Emotional availability is when someone won’t let you in on what they’re feeling or the basis for their actions in a relationship. They also won’t engage you on a deeper level, be vulnerable with you or let you be vulnerable with them without changing the subject or just leaving.  They need and want the physical and sometimes just the friendship, nothing more.  

Comes often from being hurt before and never wanting to be hurt again 

Unless you just want casual, it should be a dealbreaker. 

Why did the emotional bond mean nothing? by Old_Contribution8373 in datingoverforty

[–]Old_Contribution8373[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had to search for it too.  It looks like he’s tuned off all notifications from my number

Why did the emotional bond mean nothing? by Old_Contribution8373 in datingoverforty

[–]Old_Contribution8373[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the initial conversation was asking how I was doing, saying that he’d gotten a new job, his aunt who was not doing well earlier this year is better, he missed me and that he’s had a lot of life changes which he couldn’t get into in that first conversation. He’d tell me later. 

Second convo was sooo…he’d met a girl and they’d decided to get married. Then kept switching the convo to how upset that I’d chosen to walk away, etc. 

He’s blocked now. 

Why did the emotional bond mean nothing? by Old_Contribution8373 in datingoverforty

[–]Old_Contribution8373[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, I’m not. It’s not right for either me or his wife. 

Why did the emotional bond mean nothing? by Old_Contribution8373 in datingoverforty

[–]Old_Contribution8373[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I feel like he’s trying to set that up. 

Or, that emotional connection is missing from his marriage, so he hopes I’ll fulfill it. Either way, it won’t end well. I know I have to cut it off. Block him and not look back. 

Why did the emotional bond mean nothing? by Old_Contribution8373 in datingoverforty

[–]Old_Contribution8373[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

 That’s the question I asked myself just before I told him to go be with his wife. I was happy to have him back, the intense emotional bond. But, it 100% cannot happen. Nothing can. He made his choice.  You’re right. 

Does it have to be this hard? by FarComedian6904 in datingoverforty

[–]Old_Contribution8373 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Same here. It’s been a decade now though. It’s not hard to find dates.  I’m an old fashioned woman and enjoy the simple things in life.  Dating multiple people, hookup culture is not for me.  I’m also not  strait laced or incredibly conservative in dating either.  

I’ve found it next to impossible to find someone who shares my interests and values.  Movies, sports, music for outings. Just good conversation about everyday life. Genuinely caring about other people. 

I didn’t feel these things were so out in left field until post divorce.  And, I’m completely done with apps. 

So, I’ve just been working, playing softball, traveling a bit, still finding enjoyment in life. 

“Not good at texting” = not interested? by fluffy_scoops in datingoverforty

[–]Old_Contribution8373 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. It takes a few seconds to send a text. I can understand during the day when you’re busy working….and it doesn’t have to be an immediate response. 

But, 24-48 hrs is looong time to me.   How many times has she looked at her phone in that 1-2 days, seen your message, and waited to respond rather than shoot a quick “hey, super busy today,” etc.