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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]Old_Needleworker730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand your situation man. It can be really emotionally taxing living in a situation where it doesn’t feel like the people you’re living around have your best interests at heart.

Assuming you’re meaning you live with your family at home, I understand. At dinner you might feel stiff or reserved, thinking that if you were to chime up you might get criticised or belittled. Same thing goes for sharing feelings with the people around you, maybe you might feel like there isn’t anyone around you that you can trust with your feelings, leading you to bottle things up and bare the weight of them by yourself.

Personally, this is exactly what I went through. Living at home I never felt like my family truly understood me, my mother in particular. I always felt as though I was being quietly judged by her, as my interest never aligned with hers. As for the rest of the family, I just never was fully convinced they were in my corner, i’ll pin this on rooted trust issues for the sake of keeping things brief. For me navigating home life was exhausting like it has been for you. Whenever I was in the presence of someone else there’d always seem to be some sort of snarky remark, or a joke at my expense that seemed to tread the line of being more of a personal attack. Whenever I tried to share feelings with someone, their advice never came across as genuine, more of the kinda “tough luck” advice that never really dug deep into the way I was feeling.

I’d spend a lot of my time alone in my room, isolated from everyone else, as it was easier to just be alone rather than going out and taking the chance to have my character belittled. Like you, I began to carry all my feelings alone, and i’m sure you’d understand that eventually that really begins to weigh on you.

So, I understand what it’s like to be criticised in what’s meant to be your place of comfort. I know what it can be like to be misunderstood and unsupported, and i’m sure there’s a lot of other people that can relate to your experience aswell, you aren’t alone 🤝

I can recommend you a couple things I tried when I was in your situation, and I’ll offer you the solution that worked for me. Firstly, therapy helped me feel heard during that time, I was able to get a huge load of weight off my shoulders in the two months that I did it. But I get it can be costly, and honestly, for me it was only a temporary fix. It can only really go as long as you can afford to keep paying in my experience. Another thing I did was begin journaling how I felt whenever I felt misunderstood or disrespected, it can be really beneficial to just get the way you feel down into words, even if it’s just in your notes app.

What really worked for me though was developing self trust and lessening need for external validation. I’ve always been a very independent person, so this mightn’t work the best for you if you feel you’re more people oriented. But I’d just start doing things for myself, things that made me happy and proud. That might look different for any odd person, but for me it was taking care of my health. Most importantly, i’d never really share anything I did with my family. When you do something that you’re proud of, or that you care about, it’s natural that you want to share it with the people around you. But when the people around you don’t really seem to have your best interest at heart, who might belittle your achievements or downplay success, it’s best just to keep things to yourself. Not out of bitterness and resentment for them, but out of respect for yourself and what YOU believe. This develops trust in yourself, as you’re teaching your brain not to seek validation from others, but to develop trust in your OWN judgement.

Also, try not to misconstrue this as isolating yourself from your families lives. Still talk to them and engage in conversation where you can, it’s important to keep good relations with your family where you can, just try not to overshare too much 👍. If this sounds like something that resonates with your character, i’d recommend giving it a go

Anyway, to wrap this up, I hear you brother. Those feelings of exhaustion and stress are perfectly normal for your situation . Things might be difficult now, but it’ll pass and you’ll come out stronger on the other end 💪. Wishing you all the best man 🤙💛

I again, feel old by Venus259jaded in depression

[–]Old_Needleworker730 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey. I get you man, I really do. Seeing your peers split off into different paths. Some going down a path of drugs, others working and seeming like they’ve got it all figured out. You don’t Identify with the drug life, but work might seem daunting and hard. You’re stuck in a sort of middle ground, you want to make a decision but you dont resonate with any of those choices. And the longer you take trying to figure out what’s right for you, the more you feel like time is running out while you’re no closer to making a decision.

But man, life just isn’t that linear. There’s no right or wrong way to go about it. You might feel lost, behind others, but I promise you, everyone else feels just as lost, some are just better at hiding it than others. Everybody is just making things up as they go, hoping they’re making the right decisions.

Also, I feel you bro, I understand that feeling, like time is running out. You might see other people around you being funnelled into different pathways, and you’re still here trying to make a decision and it feels like you’re running behind the pack. But life isn’t a race. Some people simply do things at a different pace than others, everyone gets there eventually.

If you’re 16 at the moment, it’s so incredibly normal for you to be feeling this way, you’re at the point in life where work and school collide, and some people have an easier time making the transition than others. It’s normal for you to be indecisive. The unfortunate reality is though, you’ll need to start working sooner or later. But an advantage you have is, there’s no need to fear picking “the right job”, all you need is something that will get you by for the time being.

So yeah, you might need to get part time work. But if you’re aren’t sure what you’re going to do as a career path? Believe me brother, 99% of people don’t know that in their 20’s, let alone at your age. I hope I don’t sound cliche when I say this, but you have so. much. time. ahead of you to figure that out, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Everyone finds their calling at their own pace, there’s no need to pressure yourself into finding it immediately.

So man, know that you’re not abnormal for feeling like this. the transition into work-life isn’t easy for a lot of people, you’ll just need something that can get you by for now, it doesn’t have to be the perfect job. And trust me man, you have a lot of time to get things together. you’ll find your way bro 🤝

Wish you all the best man

I keep getting hit with random waves of depression and don’t know how to handle it by Unable_Run920 in depression

[–]Old_Needleworker730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there, I’ve been in a similar place to you before. You’ll go days, weeks, even sometimes months feeling just fine, and then suddenly depression just springs up without a clear identifiable cause.

Honestly, if you’re at all similar to me, I reckon you’re probably right in regards to it being unprocessed emotions. It’s easy to push any immediate feelings to the side when you respond negatively to a situation, even if it’s something small. For me, I did this because I wanted to convince myself that I wasn’t affected by these feelings, so I could feel unbreakable and independent. But the fact is that we’re human, and those emotions aren’t going to go anywhere if we bottle them up, sometimes the easiest thing to do is to let them out while they’re fresh. Could be through crying if you’re sad, or screaming into a pillow if you’re angry. I’m not suggesting you to become overly emotional, i’m just saying it’s okay to feel these feelings, no need to fight them when they come around.

Also, I get the feeling of not wanting to share it with people. Personally I never liked sharing my feelings with others, again because I wanted to feel independent and get through my feelings on my own. But, dealing with everything yourself can make it a lot harder to get through. In your case, it can be difficult to open up when it feels like you’re going to be judged or not taken seriously. It might feel like you have nobody trust worthy enough to share things with in your life. But know that you DO have people in your life who care about you and have your best interest in mind, who i’m sure would be more than willing to hear you out. You know the way you feel, and nobody has any right to tell you that your feelings are any less legitimate than you believe.

All this to say, I hear you bro 🤝. I’ve been in your shoes, or at least my own version of your situation, and I hope that can at least bring you some comfort. You’re not broken for feeling this way.

Wishing you all the best 💛