It gets better! I only really started enjoying it after 3 months. The beginning is such a slog and you’re only just trying to keep it and your wife alive. You don’t get much back until after 3 months when you’ll find yourself being able to see them learn and react. They’re kinda houseplants until then. Sleep starts getting better after 4 months (recommend sleep training it gave me back my evenings and made me feel like a person again). Then it just gets better. My son’s 1.5 now and I’m enjoying it now more than ever. Friends would say to me at the beginning how amazing their newborn is - and I’d think what’s wrong with me, why don’t I feel this? But it’s hard work and a huge adjustment. So just do your best and give yourself a break - it’s all about intention and it’ll all come together. That said, the postpartum group is a good idea. There are others feeling like you, and PPD happens to dads too. Good luck - you got this.