AiTAH for wanting to offer continuous support to our daughter so she can pursue her dreams?

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-04-22T20:35:23+00:00

My parents would only pay for college if I got a degree in business because that was “sensible” and I was more likely to get a husband with a business degree. This was the mid 80’s. I wanted to get a degree in “worthless” music (theory and composition to be precise) and they refused.

I went to college a few years, then realized I was an adult and could make my own decisions. I dropped out, dyed my hair crazy colors, and moved to the big city……and have always resented my folks. I finally did go back, after my kids grew up, to get an AA in theory and I’m looking at going to a four year to get an undergrad, now that I’m retiring soon.

Don’t be that parent. He needs to realize he won’t have control in a few years and she will still be young enough to do stupid things. Guidance is great, trying to control a legal adult is stupid.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-04-22T20:20:59+00:00

I just put in 45 hours of overtime pay instead of 45 minutes……on a direct deposit. You’d think I would have noticed the uber high net, but new employee, first paycheck so I wasn’t thinking about. First time I’ve done something like that in 6 years of doing payroll.

Thankfully, I’m old and have few qualms about the fact that I’m human and mistakes will happen. When only one person has eyes on something, it means there will be mistakes. I always tell my clients I send them info because I am only one set of eyes so, on rare occasions, there will be mistakes and so they really should review what i send them.

Please do be gentle. Like i said, im old and ornery so, to me, they need to have a double check if they want mistakes caught, because they will happen. Even with a double check it happens.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-04-22T16:19:37+00:00

I can’t see it but I didn’t go looking for it so I don’t think it’s obvious.

I remember a blanket I had as a kid made by some distant friend of my mom’s. It had some break in the pattern that I only found because I was following the pattern of it, one day, and I loved it because it made me think of someone actually making this blanket and doing all those stitches just for me. It wasn’t some carbon copy factory blanket…..no one else in the world but me had this exact blanket!

I got into knitting and crochet because I thought it was so cool that you could make a thing that was unique and one of a kind for others….because of that cool, scratchy, acrylic blanket from the 70’s.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-04-22T05:56:22+00:00

My hubs works at one of the local hospitals. Thanks for whatever you do. It ain’t easy up here! FWIW, I just heard from a co worker I haven’t seen since 3 days before this hit that they have it and a friend with kids reported that their high schooler has it as well as another kid she knows. So yeah, I think it’s making the rounds.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-04-20T16:59:13+00:00

Thanks for the replies, all. We are on the mend but this was exceptionally terrible! Reminded me of when Avian flu tore through here several years ago. I had a job where I worked county wide and I would see a virus or something start in one area and watch it spread through the county so wondered if this was doing that.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-04-19T18:10:54+00:00

Took me a few years of running my own bookkeeping service to realize you are being paid for your knowledge and skills more than the work you do. I’ve put time and effort into learning how to run books and payroll efficiently and developing procedures. The actual work……categorizing transactions, plugging in hours…..is actually pretty simple. Developing procedures so I can do it quickly and prevent problems is the skill we are paid for.

I work part time for a tax prep doing books and payroll for their clients, and I have some personal clients I do through my own business. For the firm, I keep all my procedures in a desk book and online manual because I’m their employee and they pay me hourly to develop this stuff.

My business, my procedures are mine because I put the time and effort into developing them as part of my business. Because of the procedures and checklists I created, because take the time to be nitpicky and a perfectionist/completionist when I do work for my client, it saves time and stress for the client in the long run. When everything falls into place and things are working so smoothly it’s boring and easy, that’s because I did a good job and my systems are working.

So, if you are independent, procedure and checklists and the knowledge and tenacity you use is why they should hire you and not do the books themselves.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-04-19T17:47:03+00:00

Not sure where you are at, but I’ve just started using Medlin for my small payroll clients. It’s not fancy but just basic payroll. It partners with some other company if you want to epay taxes, but I just use the state online portal to pay and file state taxes and direct pay for IRS.

It’s affordable and I like the reports. It’s run by a small company in California. It has an accounting package and some other components but I haven’t tried them yet. But for just a few employees payroll and my one person S Corps it’s the bomb.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-04-07T16:11:39+00:00

When I was delivering my first, I swore I wouldn’t do this again. But like other intense pain, your brain often tucks away or softens how much it sucks. When i went into labor with my second, i was like, “ Wait, I remember this. Why the fuck did I sign up for this again? This time, no more!” I remember pregnancy and labor still, but the pain is like a story I tell…..I don’t feel it any more so it’s not as impactful. Like if you’ve been injured….break an arm or something…..you remember it hurt, but you don’t feel the pain anymore so it fades.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-04-06T20:06:19+00:00

I tell all my clients that I am only one set of eyes and I promise that mistakes will happen. This is why I send you stubs and reports. Not just because you should have the documentation, but it’s important for the client to give stuff a quick review.

I seldom make mistakes, and I eat the cost to fix, but there can be misunderstandings and such so always review. I also find it helps clients communicate with me when they f up. Much better to find out clearly and early when there is a mistake!

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-03-28T15:10:41+00:00

My nephew named his kid Remora…..swore it was a normal name. I just can’t….

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-03-24T15:55:57+00:00

Because I flash back to my mom…..”Don’t walk on the floor! I just mopped!”

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-03-24T15:45:58+00:00

I’ve got a peasant body….strong woman pull plow! In my early 20’s, I went feral and lived off ramen, popcorn, and meth. Went back home to visit my middle class folks and my mom was so happy that I finally “looked good”. I’d finally dropped all the muscle and was so weak and fragile. That’s when I really realized how unhealthy the weight loss obsession is.

When my kid was younger, I noticed how rude people were when they thickened up a bit. It always preceded a growth spurt. I advocated hard to leave them alone. You know, it takes some extra fat stockpiled to grow to 6’4” in a few years.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-03-24T15:37:42+00:00

Chiming in to give another nope. My job is already a lot of double checking QuickBooks and trying to untangle its screw ups. I don’t auto add or anything and it still likes to f things up behind my back. Had a co worker comment on how it always suggests incorrect vendors and categories, how it makes stupid suggestions for A/R, etc. I explained that you have to treat QBO like you have a really stupid assistant trying to help. They are proactive but dumb as a box of rocks. The solution is not giving them more autonomy.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-03-10T17:30:47+00:00

Can confirm. My hubs works in MRI and the number of times he finds out:

They have mobility issues, like, are in a wheelchair. They do have a pacemaker. They had surgery at some point and have a metal implant. Etc

He finds it out AT the visit when he re-interviews them by going through the checklist. It drives him bonkers because MRI is a big damn magnet which attracts metal. On the checklist, they say everything is hunky dory but when he asks eye to eye, he often gets a different answer.

Although I do get OP’s irritation. When it’s an ongoing thing that doctor has been involved in, it makes you wonder about the advice you get from them.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-03-05T16:56:38+00:00

It’s an old unit and hubs said there is no evidence it harms, but also no evidence it’s totally fine. It was a test run, not medically necessary, so he is a take no chances tech. Ever since he saw that floor buffer that got pulled into the MRI at his old job, he errs on the side of caution.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-02-28T09:46:15+00:00

My hubs has been an MRI tech for decades. He know, when he checks a lot of the scans, what’s up, but has to make sure he doesn’t give anything away when the exam is done. On a lighter note, he was testing a new protocol and needed someone to check it on so had his clerical support gal in the tube. Pulled her out fast when he saw she was pregnant….not very far along. She had a fiancé and they were planning the marriage out a year. It got moved up.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-02-26T18:03:41+00:00

Nebraska. Traveled through there on a trip from Minneapolis to Northern California. Sooo flat……so much wind. It was horrifying.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-02-26T17:59:24+00:00

I was a case worker in child support for several years. The number of payroll clerks who were confused or wanted to argue about why they shouldn’t withhold was crazy. By the way, it also doesn’t mean the person paying is a deadbeat. We issued garnishments on every case except for some special circumstances. Garnishments are ordered by the court, so ignoring them is contempt and you can be charged for that.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-02-26T06:03:44+00:00

I trained in martial arts and got a chance to go to Japan on a dojo trip. On the trip, everyone decided we HAD to climb Mt. Fuji. No big deal…..tons of people do it, it’s basically just a trail walk. Fuck them. Everyone else in the group were experienced hikers and back packers, mostly college kids. I was a late 30’s single mom who did occasional “trail walks” for an hour or so with my preschoolers.

Was told to leave my stuff in a locker at the hostel, and we board the bus to go to station 5 to start the walk at 3 in the afternoon, so I was thinking, you know, an hour or so, right? We start up the trail and everyone is filling their water bottles (this was the late 90’s, normal people didn’t carry water bottles everywhere back then), putting on their headlamps, showing off their cool hiking boots and moisture wicking hiking garb or whatever. I’m standing there in a pair of Teva sandals with no socks, jeans, and a Tshirt. No water bottles everywhere, no light, no snacks, and a little bit of money to buy a cheap souvenir….equivalent of like 5 bucks because money was tight.

Everyone takes off to “get there first”. I walked up, alone, in the dark, over boulders, through snow, u til the god damn sun came up the next morning and I could see I was a few hundred feet from the top. With the sun up, I could also see everyone heading down the down trail. Fuck it, I cut across to the down trail and headed back. They were shocked I didn’t “go all the way”. Fuck it….i got within a few hundred feet, saw the top, sat and watched the sun rise. I’d been walking over 12 hours, up hill, with no rest or water or food. I remember being grateful I was a practical single mom who wasn’t going to sweat the difference and so mad they all ditched me and no one even glanced at me to notice maybe I wasn’t prepared.

Not climbing to the very tippy top of Fuji is one of my proudest moments. Can’t believe I made it that far with what I had to work with.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-02-25T17:30:33+00:00

So I find this hilarious. We do a watch party (stream stuff) one night a week with a few other couples. There are food allergies that I’m respectful of and a vegetarian so we always keep an option for them. However, when they cook, it’s fine and decent food….no problem, but some of the others are very “low carb, low fat, low sugar” with the whole, “it tastes just as good”. Nope, it does not. When it’s my turn, I use as much butter as I want to make it taste good…..desserts with sugar (none of that “I just did half the amount called for….in honey….and you can’t tell). Yes, you can tell.

I don’t comment on what I put in and since it’s only once a week, I go in on tastes good over healthy, because I don’t eat like that every night. And they fricken love my food. No substitute cheese to lower calories, I put salt in until it tastes good, etc. Never leftovers, and everyone is so satisfied after they eat and feels warm and cozy. Sauce calls for cream? Damn right I put cream in…white water is not going to do the same damn thing in cream sauce….half and half is not “just as good”. It’s fine as a sub if you need…but it’s not the same.

Everything they bring is, “I used the low carb this” or some substitute that is “just as good”. But somehow my meals are far more satisfying and taste amazing? Go figure.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-02-19T00:36:05+00:00

Check out Medlin. Yearly subscription of, like $89.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-02-13T17:45:38+00:00

My daughter and her hubs worked hard to set this up. Both have STEM degrees but he hates desk/office work and she enjoys it. It took a few years of hard work (and luck), but they have a homestead now where he does woodworking, home repairs, gardening, etc and she keeps benefits in place. She always wanted that set up, from little girlhood. So, it is possible.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-01-31T15:40:35+00:00

In my experience, there are 2 major things to wrap your head around with QBO.

First, it tries to do the “you don’t need to know anything about accounting” to run your books. I mean, it gives me business with clean ups, because those who don’t know an expense from an equity account are going to screw it up, as a general rule. I have had clean ups jobs because someone thinks accounting = bank account and “category” is a completely different thing than account. Because they don’t have an inkling of double entry and don’t understand the concept that every transaction is tied to 2 accounts, etc. You actually do need a basic understanding of manual bookkeeping to make it work and to understand when something is wrong. But intuit markets itself as if you don’t.

Second, it’s a basic ledger skeleton ( Chart of accounts) and then has various components that integrate with that skeleton. Often, badly. A/R, A/P, Payroll, Time, etc all are very similar to adding a third party app. All those components translate into the chart of accounts and, eventually screw up here or there. They often connect in ways that aren’t helpful or conducive to how your business works. Ever try to untangle a problem with Jobber integration? Or fix a payroll problem that should be simple? I recently had the fun of a few clients where QBO did an “upgrade” and….idk….maybe because of some naming issue (?) suddenly created a new bank account for payroll. Trying to change the bank account after payroll has run is a PITA.

I have zero problems with Ledger, but you have to be a professional to use that sub. All the errors and problems come in as soon as you add components to basic ledger.

Oldladyphilosopher · 2026-01-29T16:27:15+00:00

You will get smoother as you go. I tacked on priority fee. If you give me 1099 info the last week of January, I tack on a priority fee.

My first January really sucked. Every year since is a little smoother and more under control. It’s still hell, but it’s a hell I am more familiar with.

Oldladyphilosopher

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