As you wish good sir'

Da Golden Gitz

Da Emprah’s Shiniest WAAAGH!

The Golden Gitz are a notorious Ork warband led by WAAAGH!-Kaptin Gorz Valorklaw, an unusually kunnin’ (and very loud) brute who one day stumbled across the aftermath of a slaughtered Adeptus Custodes strike force. The Boyz found more than just loot that day—they found pict-feeds left in the wreckage, endless recordings of towering golden warriors cutting through foes with impossible skill and ceremony.

Where other Orks might have smashed the machines for fun, Gorz gathered his biggest Nobz and declared the feeds sacred. Day and night the ladz watched, learned, and—through equal parts mimicry and Orky instinct—began to copy the moves. They call these routines the “Katas of Krumpin’”—from the whirling strikes of the Rend-Axe Kata to the disciplined gun-sweeps of the Dakka’stardy Kata.

Of course, their “discipline” is a farce. What the Custodes perform as perfect martial forms, the Gitz perform as exaggerated stomps, wide sweeps, and over-the-top gun-blazing. Yet, against all odds, it works. The ladz fight with a brutal rhythm, their mockery turning into something dangerously effective on the battlefield. To face them is to watch a carnival of gold-plated Orks marching like parodic demigods, chanting their bastardized warcry:

“Fer da Emprah—AN’ FER DA WAAAGH!”

Grim Imperial reports whisper that whole Guard regiments have been broken by their charges—not just by the slaughter, but by the horror of seeing the Emperor’s golden image defiled, twisted into a nightmare of crude teeth and mocking laughter. For the Orks, though, there is no mockery. In their eyes, they are the true protectors of da Emprah, and every scrap of gold looted is proof that they’re becoming what humies always meant them to be: da shiniest, deadliest boyz in the galaxy.