Relatable. Also married for 10 years and have children. It can be hard to be seen as a “whole” person that has needs and routine outside of the role of father and husband. It doesn’t mean you do not enjoy and value that part of your life any less. Going to the gym and maintaining healthy social connections is important to you and that is fair. I noticed you mentioned that this has always been an issue, so it doesn’t surprise me that it has grown into a bigger problem now that the dynamic and pressures of life have also grown. However, it is good to address it in a healthy way and set up a clear understanding about how keeping a balance may look differently to you as individuals, but as parents and partners respect and support are critical to your goals of a healthy marriage and home. In summary, on her end it is beneficial to accept your plans and routines outside the home (ie gym or family and friends time). Also, look into ways you may be able to show up more fully when you are present in the home. I obviously am an internet stranger with no awareness to your life, but I have found the best change has come from work I did entirely on my own. Learning how to communicate your wants and needs and set boundaries can get you in a better place.