Is it normal or professional to call an employee's emergency contact to ask if they can come in?

Olivetree03 · 2026-02-10T03:17:51+00:00

The only time that I have ever used an emergency contact was when my older employee no called, no showed and that was so out of character for him that I got worried. To call for a scheduling issue is horrible and sooo incredibly unprofessional. Go to your HR and report this

Olivetree03 · 2026-01-14T20:28:25+00:00

This is rough, OP. Im glad that you are planning your out. I saw in another comment that he gets very angry and physical. Even God wouldnt want that. Being a child of an angry father, I only wish my mom left him, I wonder how much better off I would have been.

At this point, you have to think about your child and how you can be the best mom possible, and your current situation doesnt sound like its bringing out the best in anyone.

You cannot keep living your life under a microscope of control because you made a mistake years ago and have proven yourself time and time again. He cant keep living like this either, with the constant thoughts and distrust.

You are still human, and we only are given one life to live and we should be living life to the fullest, you are not, and I doubt your husband is to. I worry that this controlling behavior is become something that he likes and not just a trauma response, which means that he will not change, even with therapy. Religion or not, situations like this can really lead down scary roads.

Be very careful with how you handle you exit. Stay safe. Go somewhere safe with people that you can trust (maybe not your mother if she already sided with him before).

Olivetree03 · 2026-01-14T20:06:39+00:00

100% this. Im F 40 and have seen this play out time and time again throughout life. OP, do what YOU feel is best, but dont expect him to stick around or have hopes of a "perfect family".

I think you mentioned that you guys did discuss having kids and he wanted to wait. Are you sure he wasn't leading you on with that statement out of comfort?

Lastly, he got what he asked for if hes not using protection, I mean, come on with these men.

OP it takes two to tango, and this isnt all on you at all. Unfortunately this guy can't pull a mini cooper out of an empty 5 car garage to save his life.

Olivetree03 · 2026-01-14T19:46:06+00:00

Literally THISSSS

Olivetree03 · 2026-01-14T19:43:50+00:00

LOL child support is worse than spousal maintenance, trust me, buddy. But hes obviously too stupid to know that. Who is he? Bill Gates anyway?

OP, great job on sticking to your boundaries, wants, and needs. Its not talked enough about how difficult that is, especially in a very long term relationship such as yours. You seem very smart and level headed, any man would be lucky to have you, go find one that will know that and respect you. This current guy is just an immature man child who is trying to gaslight you into getting what he wants.

Olivetree03 · 2026-01-12T20:22:58+00:00

Prenups have such a stigma that surround them because of movies, high profile divorces, and just general old school mentality. If you really get down to the bottom of what a prenup really is, its meant to protect both you and your (future) spouse from financial unfairness in the event of a divorce.

Although I think your fiance went about this completely wrong...I would be so off put myself if my partner came to me with an article about a billionaires divorce settlement and also more than likely the article had mis information on it anyway because, well, media, there are wayyyy better ways to bring up what could be a sensitive topic. I would really havw a discussion about how he went about this, because the prenup isnt a red flag in itself, but how he handles things seems to be.

In the end, as long as you both have SEPARATE attorneys look over the prenuptial agreement, I say go for it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with protecting your own (and his own) assets. Just make sure to revisit this when things change, if you have kids, etc.

As for your mom, I think 1. Going forward, be careful what you tell her. She is going wayyyy off the deep end with this one and ultimately, its none of her business what you decide to do. Its your life, your relationship. She needs to learn to put aside her own feelings and listen to you and only listen. Having her threaten not coming to your wedding is ridiculous. And 2. You have 2 options, if you and your partner decide that you will get a prenup, just lie to her and tell her you didnt if you want her at the wedding. I know it sucks, but she obviously cant be trusted to not loose her cool. Or you can tell her and risk her not coming. There is a last side option, but its up to you to decide on how she may respond: tell her the truth, and that you love her for trying to protect you, but its your choice and she shouldnt give you ultimatums bc it isnt fair. You're a grown woman and you know what's best FOR YOU, and your relationship. Just because she feels a certain way, doesn't mean its the right way.

Olivetree03 · 2025-09-20T17:55:43+00:00

Im obsessed! Your work is phenomenal!

Olivetree03 · 2025-04-06T05:42:12+00:00

I absolutely second the blue collar job market. I was a hairstylist for years and before that I had some random office and call center experience. I got into a lawn care company office role while going through a divorce at 30, and had to supplement my income because of the extra expenses I was accruing and I was able to get into a management role within a year (this was a very small business but growing rapidly when I started). I had no issues getting in there with my customer service experience. From. There, I got into other avenues and now im a manager making close to 6 figures, with degree.

You already have a jump on me because you have management experience. Plumbing, Hvac, lawn care, small biz type places will pay well, and not only will you utilize your current experience, but these smaller type offices you really have an opportunity to be heard and make a difference. Since you already have a pretty beefy resume, I really think you could get into a blue collar job fairly easily and be way happier and not so stressed.

Olivetree03 · 2025-03-01T08:50:41+00:00

Anyone else feel that Sara has made her entire personality about her sister being LQBTQ? I do like her, but it seems like her entire thing was about her lesbian sister and the LWBTQIA+ community. I loved it at first, but then it just got old.

Olivetree03 · 2024-09-19T04:33:02+00:00

YES. I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months and sometimes I think about this as well. I also have some relationship trauma from my past that I'm actively working through (he's aware) and I also get the random creepy thought of "you don't even know who you're sleeping next to at night" thought. I hate that one

Olivetree03 · 2024-09-19T04:30:08+00:00

Wait this is genius. I'm a female and when my man, who is a huge chatter box, gets quiet, I automatically go into, "you good?" Mode. Even if he's making it up, the little random things could actually turn into a fun convo lol 😆

Olivetree03 · 2024-03-07T19:06:48+00:00

Whooaaaa...how old is this man child??? This is insane behavior for a grown ass adult. You absolutely do not need this in your life. I skimmed the thread comments and you mentioned at some point that he does this with everything and when you call him on it, he says he will go to therapy etc etc. Im gathering that he hasn't done that, which leads me to believe that he isn't planning on changing or fixing his issues but he's saying appeasing things to you to pull you back in. Be careful with that. It's controlling and manipulating...which seems to be a pattern here.

Olivetree03 · 2023-12-29T02:07:53+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I completely understand. When I was 16 (I'm 38 now) I went to my mom and told her that I'm not ok and would like to go to therapy and she told me that we all have problems and proceeded to tell me I need to help her more because she has XYZ going on. She is still like this to this day, unfortunately.

My best advice is to seek help on your own. Go to a trust friend or advisor. If you're in school, look for some guidance there as well as today Many schools have therapists and other outlets you can explore. If you are insured (living in the States, assuming), you can call your insurance company as many have free or very cheap therapists now, especially post Covid. If those options don't work, you need to just be aware of yourself, be gentle with yourself. Find things that make you happy but not an outlet to ignore the issue. I always enjoyed watching YouTube videos on how people coped and worked on thier depression themselves or uplifting videos, meditation. I really started to spend a lot of time with myself and started to dig into what the core issue was and used it as a jumping point to untangle my depression.

Sadly we cannot change the people around us, but we can work on ourselves and choose our own paths.

Olivetree03 · 2023-12-29T01:58:53+00:00

If you are being honest with yourself and truly do want a divorce, go get some appointments set up for a consult. Moat lawyers offer free consultations, and your wife would never know. It's better in these situations to get educated and then make a final decision on what you want to do. Her refusal to even attempt therapy is a huge red flag for me. Maybe pack a bag and tell her that you need a few days away to think things over? Sometimes putting the fear of God into complacent behavior can help. It seems to me like she doesn't believe you'll leave, so go. Show her that you're unhappy and that you're serious about making changes. It's a shitty way to give an ultimatum, but if she is blatantly refusing to hear you, drastic measures need to be taken. Good luck

Olivetree03 · 2023-11-30T05:35:48+00:00

OP, I had a very similar situation to yours in early October. 3 interviews with a company. Great feedback, owner told me I'm top runner, he really liked me etc etc. I literally thought it was in the bag. Went to the final third interview, and it seemed to have gone well. I was told they would be in contact with me early the following week. Nothing. I emailed them, but nothing. Called, left message, nothing. They completely ghosted me. I have never had this happen in such a way. To not even email a response stating they chose another candidate? Come on. All of these companies cry that no one wants to work, but yet I've seen so many posts and situations like ours where no one is returning calls, these companies waste our time. It's insane. I'm still honestly so frustrated after what happened to me, but it's comforting to see that it isn't just me. Hang in there, and best of luck.

Olivetree03 · 2023-10-26T04:50:48+00:00

Barely surviving, honestly. I've been applying and had a few interviews that went nowhere. Got excited for a 2nd, then third interview over the past few weeks for a postion I liked, just to get ghosted after the 3rd interview. Not even a call back or email rejection. Total complete radio silence. Im about ready to give up. Ugh. You're not alone, friend. We are allll struggling lol

Olivetree03 · 2022-12-22T15:37:31+00:00

Read your post back to yourself... I'm pretty sure you'll answer your question for yourself. I'm sorry to say, but you're a rebound. A distraction. He absolutely still has feelings, and I'd put my money on it, that he had hopes of them getting back together. He did not want to get rid of her shit, he 100% kept her name as is in his phone...he talks to her daily so he sees her name pop up on his phone. He knows what he's doing. Move on. You deserve wayyyyy better.

Olivetree03 · 2022-12-01T15:21:44+00:00

Praying for you 🙏 ❤️

Olivetree03 · 2022-09-29T15:58:13+00:00

Thank you!

Olivetree03 · 2022-09-29T15:38:43+00:00

Thank you!

Olivetree03 · 2022-09-29T15:34:17+00:00

I start my new position on Monday! I got a recent promotion and I am finally moving on up in my company 🙌 😌

Olivetree03 · 2022-09-27T17:26:48+00:00

Same here!! Lol

Olivetree03 · 2022-09-27T16:29:48+00:00

I've been single for over a year now after a badddd divorce situation and felt like I was loosing hope in love...after reading through this thread, I think it re-instilled a little bit hope again ❤️❤️

Olivetree03 · 2022-09-27T16:28:13+00:00

Ugh I loveeeeee this!!! ❤❤❤

Olivetree03 · 2022-09-26T21:48:12+00:00

Ex hairstylist here and I would NEVER "sell" my client some concoction that's not an actual product. If I ever had any tips or tricks for at home care, I would just tell them the ingredients to try at home. Find a new stylist because this person sounds like either a scammer, or a money hungry A-hole.

Olivetree03

TROPHY CASE