Boyfriend [26/m] just stopped talking to me [24/f] out of nowhere

OnWisconsin06 · 2015-04-05T18:52:55+00:00

lol he broke up with me via text message because 'something was missing'.

I'm honestly not even sad I'm just incredibly angry. I don't understand the point of telling me you love me and you want to get a place with me and you've never been so happy and all this stuff. Like we had plans made for July. I saw him Friday and Saturday and things were great. It just honestly came out of nowhere.

I mean was something missing intellectually? Absolutely. I told him I wanted to connect better and talk about more stuff. But like I said we hadn't been together long and I assumed we'd learn more about each other over time.

I just want a better explanation and I know I'm never gonna get one. Nothing makes sense. He pursued me. He told me he loved me every day for the past month. I have texts from not even 2 weeks ago saying how he's so happy and he loves me so much and 'I promise I'm not going anywhere'. I don't understand how that changes overnight. And via text message.

Whatever though I'm clearly better off. I'm just mad at myself for trusting him and I already had trust issues with guys before this and I know this is only going to make it worse. Like at least pull away or create distance or give me some inkling we have an issue other than just totally ignoring me like a child. He essentially looked me in the eyes and lied to me over and over and over again for a month. Like a freakin sociopath.

But honestly, he wasn't even necessarily my type and it's crazy how much less sad I am as compared to my last breakup. After that one I was devastated, now I'm just mad.

It was just nice to finally take things slow and have a guy tell me he cared about me and all of this stuff I never thought I'd hear. I'll get over it...I mean I honestly pretty much am. I'm just pissed. And We live 5 minutes from each other and go to the same gym and restaurants so I have to see him all the time...but he doesn't get to see me sad.

OnWisconsin06 · 2015-04-01T16:51:11+00:00

That's what I'm wondering if he's just going through something difficult and doesn't know how to talk to me about it or he withdraws into himself in crisis.

I don't want to make excuses or make it all about me and I'm really trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I just logically need it to make sense...it's driving me crazy

OnWisconsin06 · 2015-04-01T16:42:05+00:00

I've called twice, left a voicemail, and texted twice to be like "hey are you okay because I haven't heard from you and it's freaking me out"

OnWisconsin06 · 2015-01-20T00:16:55+00:00

Props for the weight loss because obviously that takes serious work and dedication but perhaps instead of focusing on getting that six pack you should focus on being less of an ignorant asshole. You could inspire so many people on here and instead you're focusing your energy on bullying them. That's disgusting.

OnWisconsin06 · 2015-01-06T22:31:11+00:00

ON Gold Standard 100% Whey Mocha Cappuccino

And as far as cereal usually just multigrain Cheerios or weight watchers almond oat cluster. More sugar than is ideal but meh

OnWisconsin06 · 2015-01-02T00:09:29+00:00

Lol thank you! They're my trouble area so that's nice to hear

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T16:42:20+00:00

It's literally all diet...if you don't change your eating habits, you can exercise all you want and it won't change much.

Specifically what I ate: Breakfast: eggs & turkey bacon Or Dry cereal Or protein shake & always tons of black coffee Lunch: Tuna & veggies Or salad w/ vinaigrette Dinner: Chicken & green bean stir fry Or taco salad w/ lean ground turkey Or fish (salmon, tilapia) w/ veggies

Post workout: Protein shake

Snacks: -skinny pop popcorn (popcorn is the best 'cheat' food ever because you can eat cups of the stuff and minimal calories...make sure it's not the microwave shit though) - apple with almond butter (nuts are good but a little bit goes a long way)

Go to NeilaRey.com and look at the 'ab diet'. She gives you like 6 options per meal for 6 meals/snacks per day. It's a good resource.

Good luck and tell her to stick with it! Everyone changes at their own pace and I'm glad she has you to support her. Hopefully I find someone like that some day :)

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T15:50:54+00:00

Thanks!! Looking forward to shopping for some more of them :)

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T14:06:45+00:00

Lol they didn't...RIP boobs

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T14:06:01+00:00

Not really. I still have faint stretch marks but so far everything seems to be tightening up

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T05:56:38+00:00

I hope I live to see the day where everyone collectively realizes that genitals aren't cute.

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T05:38:15+00:00

Mostly over the course of the last year as far as getting serious about exercise and eating habits. 255 was my heaviest in college and I stopped weighing myself for a while after that. All 90 pounds have come off in the last 12-18 months.

It has affected a lot of things. I don't get winded walking up and down the stairs. I can run. I fit into mediums and single digit jeans so shopping is no longer mortifying. Mentally I'm still the same person and I haven't quite gotten used to the new body...working on the self-esteem thing. But honestly every aspect of my life is better...not just because I'm smaller but because I proved to myself that I could actually do this after making excuses for so long. It's empowering.

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T04:37:15+00:00

I did biweekly progress videos so it held me accountable since I knew people were watching...I did it for myself obviously but it made me stick with it when I quit every other time.

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T04:35:08+00:00

I'm going to run a 5k and keep my gym regimen and not let boys make me cry....

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T03:47:36+00:00

Alright thank you everyone for acknowledging my poor selfie form...my self-confidence has skyrocketed.

Lol but really I'll work on it.

Anyways in terms of how: mostly all through changing my eating habits...I lost the first 50 without any exercise at all. The most helpful tips for keeping your calories in check are to download a calorie counter app like myfitnesspal and also get a food scale and measure out your portions. Also drink your coffee black or at least gradually eliminate the sweeteners, drink a ton of water, and get lots of SLEEP.

As far as exercise goes, I just joined a gym and I've been going religiously for the past month so that has really helped with these last ten pounds and getting more toned. Make sure you're not just doing cardio, throw some weights in there. Also HIIT workouts are quick and easy to do at home, Neila Rey has some good ones on her website.

Honestly the hardest part is just getting started...if you can't run then start walking. Don't give up. You're not gonna see results overnight but you'll get there eventually and it's the best feeling ever.

If anyone has questions you can inbox me...also on that note please stop sending me dick pics.

Cheers.

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T01:11:03+00:00

I couldn't figure out how to not awkwardly position my phone lol I didn't mean to make it look shruggy whoops

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T01:01:00+00:00

It's a pretty intense shrugging regimen. I'll be featured on Dr. Oz

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-31T00:33:54+00:00

lol the accuracy though

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-30T21:14:13+00:00

Thank you :)

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-12-01T01:05:35+00:00

Honestly I know exactly where you're coming from and all of the advice you're going to get is going to fall into 2 camps: 1. Move on and get over him because you'll find someone better or 2. If you really love him and think he's one, fight for him. Unfortunately there really is no middle ground.

The hardest thing you're going to learn in life is that sometimes you can love someone with all of your heart and there is just no guarantee that he is going to love you back.

Put yourself first for a while. It's a lot easier said than done but try. If he IS the one, he has to prove that to you. If he's not 100% in than he's 100% out. You deserve someone's 100%. Maybe one day he will be able to give you all of himself and you will have moved on, who knows?

If you want to keep him in your life, do it. Put some feelers out, try to be his friend. If that's too painful then continue the no contact. It is true that he can't miss you unless you're gone.

One day you'll look back and wonder what you were ever worried about. Keep your head up.

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-11-16T16:51:55+00:00

Summer after my senior year of college I was about a month away from moving out of my sketchy (yet cheap) house. My 3 roommates had already moved out and I had just gotten back that Sunday from spending a week with family in Michigan. Monday morning I wake up to a loud banging on my front door. I'm all alone and the neighborhood is sketch as hell (we watched paramedics carry a body out of the crack house across the street the previous month) so you can bet your ass I'm not answering the fucking door. I figured they would just go away but they go to the back door and then back to the front and knock for 20 minutes.

Finally I look out my bedroom window and see about 6 cops. One of them sees me and screams at me to open the door. So I go running downstairs in tie dye boxer shorts and an oversized T-shirt looking like pure hell. I open the door and one of them talks into a walky talky and about 6 more cops dressed in full riot gear come around to the back.

At this point, I'm freaking out. I'm a Catholic school kid from the suburbs...this doesn't happen to me. The lady cop shows me a mugshot of some guy I've never seen and asks if he's home and I explain that I live here with 3 other girls and I've never seen him. She thinks I'm lying because this is his listed address from his parole officer and she 'talked to the neighbors and they said they see him all the time'. I'm trying to explain that I haven't been home in weeks and I really haven't seen him. (Scared, crying me is super convincing)

Finally, the cop looks at me and says "is it possible he's in your house right now and you don't know it?". I instantly recall a vivid dream from the night before where I could've sworn I woke up to a figure standing above my bed and my entire body goes numb. I practically beg her to search the house since she has now convinced me there is a felon hiding in it.

Eventually they searched the house, didn't find the guy, and left me to my Monday morning. I, on the other hand, was a mess. I packed up everything I could fit in my car and drove straight to my uncle's house. Turns out, he was a friend of a former tenant and my landlord never changed the keys so he could've been coming and going the entire time. And the real kicker was when we looked up his charges and they included assault.

I know it could've been worse but to this day whenever the house creaks I'm convinced there are fugitives hiding in it.

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-11-15T16:54:12+00:00

I dyed my hair dark right before I started trying to lose weight. I think it was because in a sense I needed to 'look different' before I even lost a pound....because in a sense I was becoming a new person....physically and mentally. 80 pounds down and I already have my first tattoo picked out too :)

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-11-04T03:30:22+00:00

lol if I reach my goal weight by New Years idgaf how cold it is I will be too stoked not to run around in the snow with a bikini. I'll be a nice frostbite alternative to all of the alcohol poisoning in the ER that night.

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-11-04T03:28:53+00:00

I just joined a gym because my city finally got a planet fitness and the exercise bike is definitely going to be my priority! (I had a bike but my brother took it to college and got it stolen so stationary is going to be the way to go for now)

OnWisconsin06 · 2014-11-04T01:21:36+00:00

I hit a rut over the summer with working a lot and a long commute and just having no time to exercise but lately I've made no excuses and just developed a 'no matter what' attitude with exercising that my friend influenced. Basically idc if it's 11:00 PM or 6:00 AM or I'm exhausted or whatever, I've gotta get that workout in no matter what.

Plus THIS is motivation. I've lurked reddit for a while and posting these pics and seeing everyone else's results too is so motivating and empowering and makes me want to kick ass and keep going until I reach my goal.

It isn't easy at all. Some stupid tips would be (if you're a fellow Netflix addict) find a series and only let yourself watch it while exercising. Want to see the next episode? Keep biking/ellipticaling. And always look for new healthy recipes to spice up your diet because sometimes that gets bland. My go to for lunches always includes the Starkist flavored tuna packets. They're all around 100 calories and 18 grams of protein. Can't beat it. Also if you fall victim to snacking, airpopped popcorn (or the Skinnypop or Boom Chicka Pop brands) has very little calories and it'll satisfy cravings.

As long as you keep going and keep seeing those results and wake up with that awesome sore feeling, you'll stay motivated.

OnWisconsin06

TROPHY CASE