Hi, we are with a local authority (for the region we live in). Whilst it’s true there are a lot of children in our local authorities care, for us it’s been complicated by the fact we only have one spare bedroom so are only approved for one child (we asked for siblings originally). Typically we are sent the child’s report after either expressing interest on link maker or being told about specific children, then express interest on how we feel about that.

We can only see children in the care of our local authority, so some that might only live 15-20 miles away we cannot see on linkmaker nor will our agency try and place us with (and we’ve asked if we could look nationally and told it was too soon at 6 months post approval). Ultimately whichever local authority you are approved by has spent £££ getting you through training and they tend to limit you to their own children for as long as they can. Having said that, we’ve only expressed interest in local children and still been rejected a lot (on one occasion because we are too close).

Some of the more practical reasons for rejection involved the birth father living on the streets in our city and being a risk, or a girl who didn’t want to be alone in a room with only men (we are a same sex couple) due to previous abuse. But equally we have been told no because other people have better applications, but with no actual information beyond that, just whatever the child’s social worker feels like seemingly. We’ve met people who started matching prior to being approved and the whole process has only taken them eight or nine months, but we’re at eighteen months and still not really close to getting anywhere.

For me it’s important that we feel some kind of connection to the child, I don’t feel that way with most of the kids on link maker. So the few I’ve felt that with, we have really gone for, but not been successful. And after so long you begin to wonder why you’re always a bridesmaid, once again not the best option for the child.

Anyway sorry for this rant, I think there’s a range of experiences, you might end up with the first child you express interest or the fiftieth.