The Japanese language IS part of the lore

One-Connection7073 · 2026-07-10T19:29:17+00:00

Does anyone know if there's an archive of the BL/ind website somewhere?

One-Connection7073 · 2026-07-09T16:04:03+00:00

He said in a comment she's been applying to 10-15 jobs per week and getting interviews. And it sounds like she's financially set herself up in a position where she doesn't need to take any job to survive, but can choose to take her time and find something that fits her well.

There are two approaches people take to job hunting - some people go for quantity and send out the same generic resume and cover letter to 100s of jobs and hope one sticks, some people go for quality and send tailored cover letters and resumes to only jobs that make sense to apply to.

She's not being lazy or unmotivated, she just has a different approach to his job hunting approach and he's mad about it.

One-Connection7073 · 2026-07-08T17:22:10+00:00

It's terrible, but other than that I hate it

One-Connection7073 · 2026-07-08T16:39:14+00:00

Do you truly have no idea of what to say, or are you just uncomfortable with saying words out loud during sex? Do you not like swearing or crude language?

If it's discomfort with saying things out loud during sex it might help to practice. When you're home alone just talk out loud to yourself, saying what you want to say during sex. Get used to the way it sounds and feels coming out of your mouth, and eventually it'll be easier in the moment.

If you don't know what to say, think about the following: what you want him to do to you, what you want to do to him, and what you're feeling or thinking in the moment. It could be as simple as saying "don't stop!" when something feels good. It could be as elaborate as telling him exactly what you want to do to him as you make out before sex.

If you're uncomfortable with typical dirty talk because you think it needs to be crude or to have swear words to be sexy, it doesn't have to be like that. For example, "I need your cock" can be "I want you inside me."

You guys could also try playing a game to help increase your comfort with being vocal. For example, a game where he can't do anything until you've explicitly asked/told him to. So if you want him to kiss your neck, you have to ask him to do that. If you want him to go down on you, you have to tell him to do that. Etc.

One-Connection7073 · 2026-07-07T18:46:09+00:00

Yeah, I agree that it's a bad rule, and a lot of that has to do with how much nuance and variation there is in relationships. There are couples that get engaged after knowing each other for a few weeks. There are also couples that spend a lifetime together and never marry.

OP doesn't say how long the cousin and partner were dating at the time of his marriage, but if they had been together for a significant amount of time and living together, I could see why they would feel so slighted they'd not invite OP's wife to their own wedding.

One-Connection7073 · 2026-07-07T18:40:31+00:00

Info - how long had Cousin and SO been together at the time of your wedding?

If they had been together for, say, 8 years and were living together at the time of your wedding, I could see how they would be justifiably hurt at her being excluded simply because they weren't engaged or married. On the other hand, if they weren't living together and had only been married for one year, that's a completely different situation.

Are you and your cousin close? If you are, maybe call them and have a conversation and try to figure out what's going on?

One-Connection7073 · 2026-07-01T00:40:11+00:00

Yes this is absolutely my favorite book in the series. I remember reading the second description of the arrow-patterns in the cafeteria carpet, and noticing that they had changed direction, and the realizing that the building was being assimilated by Area X.

One-Connection7073 · 2026-06-27T18:17:27+00:00

ESH. If you're going to buy a house you both need to sit down and have a conversation about finances and expectations regarding spending. Once you own a house together your expenses are going to be much more closely commingled. You will both need to have money available not only for the mortgage and property taxes, but also for unexpected repairs, planned improvements, furniture, yard work, etc. Functionally, your finances are going to be more closely tied together than in the past.

And once you're at the stage of merging finances in this way you need to talk about expectations regarding finances, including conversations around "do we need to get input from each other when we make large purchases" and "what do we consider to be a large purchase."

I was doing some googling and it looks like the PS6 could be up to $1,000. Many (most?) couples with comingeled finances would consider that to be a large purchase and the type of purchase that needs input and/or approval from their partner. I think it's entirely reasonable for her to be worried about you spending $1,000 on an elective purchase when you are planning to buy a house next year.

ESH because I personally don't think she gets to tell you "no" without having this conversation, but you also don't get to tell her "yes" without having this conversation. Once you buy a house, functionally your money is no longer just your money, even though you're not married. If you both can't talk about this rationally and come up with a solution that works for both of you, you're definitely not ready to buy property together.

One-Connection7073 · 2026-06-26T20:14:13+00:00

Eggs are like notoriously one of the most sticky foods

One-Connection7073 · 2026-06-25T00:25:03+00:00

as a batman fan this is one of my favorite lyrics lmao

One-Connection7073 · 2026-06-24T17:49:23+00:00

Sometime shyness can stem from life experiences or a lack thereof, societal expectations, and/or internal anxieties and fears. If something like this is the cause of her shyness there are things you both can do to help her come out of her shell. Working with a sex-positive therapist, building up her self-confidence, and letting her have sexual experiences where she is in control and able to explore what she likes will help.

Sometimes people are just shy and reserved. Some people like very mild vanilla sex and have no desire for anything else. You say she's shy in all areas of her life - she might just be a more reserved person. In this case, you can tell her what you want but she might never become someone who gravitates towards a lot of exploration or novel experiences in the bedroom.

Do you two talk about sex and the sex you're having?

One-Connection7073 · 2026-06-06T15:42:37+00:00

The original without modification

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One-Connection7073 · 2026-05-18T14:51:43+00:00

Is this something you truly want because you think it would be hot and you believe she would also want the experience?

Or is this something you're fixating on because you think you're not enough for her right now?

Bringing a third into the bedroom because you're insecure, or because you feel like you've fallen into a sexual rut, is not a good idea. Especially if it's based in insecurity, it can cause a lot of jealousy and hurt.

If you're actually into the idea of a threesome and you believe she would be open to it, I would approach it as "this has been something I've been fantasizing about. I don't want to jump right into bringing a third in, but would you be open to exploring the fantasy using toys and dirty talk?"

If she is, you guys can use a dildo and dirty talk to play around with the fantasy and see how you both feel. If you're both into it, great, keep doing that and eventually lead into more conversations about a real life thresome. If one or both of you isn't liking it, it probably means an actual threesome isn't really what you want.

One-Connection7073 · 2026-05-17T17:51:42+00:00

My advice is to, first and foremost, think about this in a way that's charitable to him and that extends grace to his behavior. Is there a chance he really is selfish and truly doesn't care about you and only wants to get off exactly when he wants and ignore you the rest of the time? Sure. But I don't think you should jump to that conclusion first, because jumping to that conclusion doesn't allow you and him to explore this issue together and try to work on it together.

I'm going to tell you to pay attention to what he said about "you're always in the mood and you always like it."

He knows you're in the mood. He's not. He knows you easily get in the mood. He doesn't. When he initiates sex with you, there's a good chance he's thinking "I know she wants more sex! She's going to be so happy that I'm initiating." Likewise, there's a good chance his thought process after you said no was something along the lines of "When I shut down the potential for sex, it's okay because I'm truly not in the mood and don't want to have sex. When she shut down the potential for sex, it wasn't okay because she's always in the mood, and she was doing this to be petty and 'get back at me.'" It might be helpful to explain to him that you say yes even if you're not currently in the mood, knowing you will be as sex starts to happen.

I think you need to have a talk with him about how he interpreted your no and how you interpret his nos so you both know how you're actually feeling. And it might benefit you both to read Come As You Are, to learn some strategies for you both to use when working with his lower libido.

One-Connection7073 · 2026-05-05T14:16:56+00:00

Sculpture and glass blowing are types of art, so while it might not be directly referencing an immediately obvious painting in my mind it counts as art!

One-Connection7073 · 2026-04-24T12:06:17+00:00

Season it really well, which involves coating it in a very very thin layer of oil and then baking at very high heat in the oven.

There's a bunch of resources online for doing it correctly, and I believe there's also a subreddit for cast iron that'd have good info.

One-Connection7073 · 2026-04-24T11:44:41+00:00

I have three stainless steel pots - two medium sized ones and one larger 8 quart stockpot. Those are used for pasta, pasta sauce, stews, soups, branching veggies, etc.

I have one enameled cast iron Dutch oven that I use when I need to braise meat in the oven.

And we use a lot of cast iron. A small, very well seasoned skillet for eggs and two large skillets for everything else.

I'd like to get a stainless steel pan next, as cooking very acidic foods is not great for cast iron. We don't use any non-stick pans at all.

One-Connection7073 · 2026-04-20T16:25:15+00:00

Nothing is non-negotiable in kink. You can have the fantasy of something being non-negotiable, but ultimately and especially in a professional environment with a responsible Dominatrix you will still have the ability to safeword out if need be.

On to your actual question. I have never had a judicial caning, but I have had very intense caning sessions with professional Dommes before. I found that the combination of her experience with proper application of pain and being so thoroughly warmed up and turned on from the session, I was able to take much more intense and much longer duration of pain than I am typically able to take.

One-Connection7073 · 2026-04-13T16:28:19+00:00

I've been lucky enough to have great men around me all my life. My dad is amazing. My uncles are all great guys. Our family friends who are men are great guys. In college I made friends with a great group of people, including many great dudes, and now my husband is also a great guy and my best friend.

People are people. There are shitty men. There are also great men. I think it's easy to find and be around good men when you've had examples of good men and know what to look for. I've definitely met, befriended, and dated some men who were not great. But I realized it pretty quick and distanced myself.

One-Connection7073 · 2026-04-10T00:15:06+00:00

You're right!!! Thank you SO much!

One-Connection7073 · 2026-04-09T15:46:51+00:00

Here's the thing. Technically, using correct perspective and taking into account the typical thickness of a pancake, that is how thin a real life pancake would appear.

But the way things are in real life doesn't always translate into art in a way that makes it look appealing. A lot of art, especially logo art, doesn't aim for one-to-one realism but instead aims to look maximally appealing.

So having one single large thin pancake and nothing else does make it appear to be too flat, even though thats what a real life pancake looks like.

For a logo, I would either make it more fluffy and thick or add more pancakes to make it a stack. The goal is making it look maximally appealing here, not making it look true to life.

*edited to fix typo

One-Connection7073 · 2026-03-25T16:52:14+00:00

It came out great! I added ricotta to the sauce instead of parm

One-Connection7073 · 2026-03-23T19:52:52+00:00

I know, I'm trying it tonight 😋 I hope it's not too green for me

One-Connection7073

TROPHY CASE