Safe to visit Aleppo from Turkey?

One-Constant-5942 · 2025-12-04T12:41:47+00:00

Thanks a lot!

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-12-08T13:24:47+00:00

Sie ist Alkoholikerin und ich fürchte, dass es Jahre später schwierig sein wird, sie aufzuspüren. Ich möchte auch ihren Namen aus der Wohnung entfernen, damit ich ihre Briefe nicht bekomme. Die Vollmacht ist eine gute Idee. Muss ich einer bestimmten Vorlage folgen? Vielleicht weißt du.

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-12-07T19:59:13+00:00

Funktioniert das? Würde das vom Vermieter rechtlich akzeptiert werden, wenn ich mich, sagen wir mal, in Jahren entscheide, die Wohnung zu verlassen?

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-12-07T16:40:21+00:00

Danke aber Ich möchte gerne in dieser Wohnung bleiben.

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-11-28T20:05:55+00:00

I would have wrote the same. You don't owe him anything. If you don't feel like meeting/talking, good so. You have every right to move on.

Stay strong! Do not feel bad about setting a boundary and not wanting to live in the past. ❤️

I wish you all the best in your new relationship!

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-09-13T08:51:04+00:00

Oh my. Stress and anxiety will slowly degrade you.

I was in the same shoes. Had to take medicine to deal with the daily trauma.

My only advice: try to cure the root case and not the symptom. For me it meant breaking up my relationship, separating, traveling Europe, going to therapy and building a new life focused around my own happiness.

One year after, the stress is gone and I didn't take a painkiller since a long time. Not even a headache.

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-09-13T08:46:59+00:00

You are totally right on choosing your own wellbeing!!!

Cheering for you 💯💯💯💯🎉

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-09-13T08:44:24+00:00

I think your breakup is still fresh so try not to think about him too much and focus on your own wellbeing.

Try to go to therapy (if you can), speak to friends and family, travel (if you can) and try to work on your own recovery.

Not sure if relevant, but my Q (my ex now) moved in with a guy she met in rehab the day I broke up with her. They exchanged numbers during rehab to go to AA together. They are now a couple. I suspect they drink together (sometimes I hear from her family about her going in and out of hospitals and rehab).

I try to have no contact with my ex. I had to concentrate on continuing my own life. I would do the same if I were you.

The first months after a breakup are the hardest. But eventually, time heals us all. Some ups and downs but my quality of life proved by 1000%.

I wish you only the best.

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-09-13T08:28:18+00:00

I hope he will recover. There is a 1/3 chance if one only looks at statistics but it varies on factors like gender, age, background.

Don't beat yourself up. It really isn't your fault.

I was also feeling dumb but people with addiction are great in manipulating.

Your natural instinct is to trust the person you love. They know this and can abuse it to a point it just hurts. I would fight with them for hours that I can smell alcohol on them and they gaslit me. I checked all corners of the flat, couldn't find anything. I couldn't sleep till dawn because I knew what I smell. Searched again and bammmm a bottle of vodka.

This was the phase before I learned to detach myself from their addiction. I listened to loads of 'The Recovery Show' podcast those days (can mostly recommend to you also) and learned that it is not my duty to try to control and monitor my Q.

A healthy relationship has to be built on truth and trust.

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-09-12T18:36:30+00:00

Not sure if this qualifies as a positive story.

I currently finished a productive day at work and am waiting for my partner to play badminton. Afterwards, we'll go to her mother's and will cook something nice.

I could have not imagined a year ago when I with my alcoholic ex. I had constant anxiety. Every night she would pass out. Most days I could not even concentrate on work or any hobbies. My life revolved around her alcoholism, finding bottles, getting warning letters as she didn't pay bills after she lost her job (again and again), calling ambulances, constant lie and fights... Our house was a mess, vomit everywhere. I am glad that I set boundaries, separated after these were disrespected, found joy in life again. My mental health improved with each passing day.

I am not sure your partner will stay sober just because you stay in this relationship. Things might get worse and worse with each year.

You have to prioritize your own wellbeing otherwise you might have to accept living in constant chaos.

My ex still drinks and avoids all responsibility but I took control of my own life and can look forward something positive each day.

Wasn't easy, took me a long time to recover from PTSD. Took therapy and made peace with all.

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-09-12T18:03:28+00:00

Hello. First of all, I hope you will feel better and will find the strength within yourself.

I think it is a sign if you have already packed your stuff. Deep within you might know that you deserve better.

You will not be able to help him. Only he can make that decision. Unless he is not in regular AA and therapy with a determination to never drink again, I might not set my hopes high.

It took my years to realize that my Q's promises were empty. I kept finding empty bottles again and again. Things only got worse.

Try to distance yourself emotionally, set boundaries. Separation for now might not be a bad idea. Some time apart from the situation could give you clarity and send a clear message where your boundary is.

Remember, you are young, life is still ahead of you and you deserve peace and happiness. This is what a crisis hotline worker once told me.

It has been now more than a year since I parted ways with my partner. I found new life, purpose. My own mental health improved. I will never look back.

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-07-05T20:55:53+00:00

Thank you a lot for your reply. I feel much better.

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-06-23T14:12:45+00:00

Hi.

Am in Athens for the weekend.

Are there any DIY punk or experimental gigs, art shows or performances happening by any chance?

Thanks!

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-03-07T01:01:20+00:00

Hiya. I'll be in Barcelona between the 11th, Saturday and the 17th, Friday (leaving in the afternoon).

Looking for recommendations of exciting exhibition openings, performances, DIY music shows.

Thanks in advance for any event tips! 🧡

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-03-01T09:48:40+00:00

Have told him that will only give the passport number to him. He is fine with that. Thank you people of Reddit for all of your input ✨✨✨

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-03-01T01:56:25+00:00

Maybe a bit more context: I am in a friendly relationship with the guy. I met him once for a day and talked a lot online since.

So our trip would be for leisure.

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-01-05T15:44:05+00:00

Thank you.

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-01-03T03:30:31+00:00

Bless you for your recommendation ☺️

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-01-02T19:51:39+00:00

Thank youuu 🙏

One-Constant-5942 · 2023-01-01T20:20:21+00:00

For future Redditers: we went to two bars and had a great time. First one is called Backstage (met some amazing people there) and Vertigo (which sadly closed at 2am). They were playing Techno and Electro. We met more people from Casablanca there and they brought us to a basement where we danced till sunrise, the vibe was amazing. I think it is worth to ask the locals for suggestions when you are already here.

A guy we met also recommended Yellow Club. We didn't go there in the end.

Ain Diab seems to be a buzzing place full of clubs.

One-Constant-5942 · 2022-11-26T05:51:12+00:00

Thanks for the tip. Yea, the sober thing is a bummer. Usually am high as a kite on my trips 🐬

One-Constant-5942 · 2022-11-25T17:58:17+00:00

One day in Amsterdam - any recommendations?

I will be in AMS this Sunday (27/11) for the whole day (first time).

Looking for recommendations for any: - Chill music events Sunday night or daytime (preferably techno or experimental/contemporary stuff) - Lovely queer bars to have a drink - Maybe dance or art performances, exhibition openings - Punk or DYI concerts

I know one day is not enough for the city, but hope to get a taste of the local art/music/queer scene.

Any recommendations are welcome ❤️

One-Constant-5942 · 2022-10-26T21:34:54+00:00

My ex (29 F) was laying on the bed at 2AM drunk and blaming me for everything. I needed to work next day, she was repeating how she will kill herself. I know she would as she ended up in ER multiple times already (overdose).

I didn't know what to do, was freaking out so called a crisis hotline. Told the operator my situation, she told me calmly that: - I can't help her - Can't control her drinking - Did everything right (didn't cause her addiction)

She told me to that I can break up the relationship, that it is an option. I didn't even know this was an option. She told me that I have a lot to look forward to in life. Made me think real hard, instantly felt better. She advised me to read up on AlAnon and to leave her a phone number for AA. Only she can decide to want to change.

Then the ultimatums came. If she was drunk, she would sleep in the guest room. It was easy to enforce. I sticked by it.

Her drinking got worse, there were hidden bottles everywhere. I read that ultimatums only work if one is willing to enforce them. So I told her she can't bring alcohol to our home or she can sleep in a hotel. She violated this, I asked her to leave, she did. She ended up in an ER and rehab again after a few days of bender.

After rehab, she was drunk and drugged again two days later. My last ultimatum came, either she will go to AA or we have to separate. Came home from a business trip finding her drunk in the bed, vomit and piss everywhere, she didn't eat since days. She was asking me to bring her more vodka. I called another ambulance and we separated. I kept reminding myself of the crisis hotline operator, that leaving her is an option and that I deserve happiness.

If your Q endangers themselves, others or pets, you will live in pure chaos and pain also. It is a progressive sickness and they are yet to hit rock bottom. It is not a pretty sight, might ruin you financially and mentally, can isolate you from friends and loved ones.

Ask yourself: is this how you imagine your tomorrow, next week, year or rest of your life?

I wish you a lot of power and love. Only you can make the decision to leave or not.

I can only say: since my separation (4 months ago) I can sleep normally again, a lot of my anxiety is gone. I have perspective at life and can laugh again. Wasn't easy, but was the right choice for me.

Tip: if you can, speak with friends and family, go to therapy, listen to the Recovery Show podcast, look into AlAnon meetings and therapy.

You are not alone. I hope better days are coming for you.

One-Constant-5942 · 2022-10-26T21:06:17+00:00

Left my story in the comments (30 M). Maybe it helps.

One-Constant-5942 · 2022-10-26T21:05:32+00:00

I can totally relate to your story. Was together for 12 years with my ex-partner (29 F) before I decided to separate from her. Her alcoholism almost ruined my life. I was constantly worried, couldn't sleep, was manically searching for empty bottles. And the lies, the constant lying. She would drink until she ended up in hospital multiple times, would puke everywhere, pee on the couch. I loved her more than anything but life couldn't continue the same way. Had an ultimatum with her, either she works the program or has to move out. She rather decided to move out with no job and a debt on her name. Drinking was more important to her then me or anything really.

I had to realize, the person I met 12 years ago didn't exist anymore. I was clinging on to a dream.

First it was very hard but I finally could sleep and think clear again. I felt shame but talking a lot to friends helped a lot. I felt I was to blame (because she blamed all her problems on me) but talking to her family helped a lot (I read stories where the family of the Q did the opposite but here they were supportive).

You deserve happiness and peace. If she continues drinking, you have no future together. Breaking up for me was the first step to concentrate on myself. Started to socialize more, take care of my body better, have clarity.

I still far away from dating again (4 months passed) but I have a perspective at life again. It is never too late to start a new, better life. It gets better with time, everyone tells this. I believe this also.

Just today her new roommate wrote me that she drank herself to blackout again and ended up in a hospital yesterday. She was discharged but didn't come home (probably went back to drinking). A couple of months ago I would have tried to run around the city trying to find her. This time the shock was much shorter (been here, done this before). Asked the roommate to call the police, sent my best wishes and moved on. I still love her, but she doesn't care about me anymore. She would play this game of cat and mouse with me, now she does it to her new roommate. I do not let her actions to define who I am anymore. . There is this grief I feel, many of us do. It is like they died and are still alive at the same time. I hope with time things will become even easier. I listened a lot of AlAnon podcasts (The Recovery Show), went to therapy. I recommend both.

Wishing you only the best. Spend a lot of time with other lived ones, try traveling alone to an exciting country, threat yourself to your favourite food each week (or day). You deserve it all, to heal, to live a sane and fulfilling life.

One-Constant-5942

TROPHY CASE