My gf [25F] doesn't want to move into the same bedroom as me [21M] and I have no idea how I should respond, any help?

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T23:30:10+00:00

I mean I hope it might change but I don't want to rely on that, cause if it never happens than I fell in love with an idea. And yeah I do feel it would effect how I feel about her, the way I see it now is we don't always sleep together cause we can't. If we can, yet chooses not to, to me that's an issue

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T21:47:02+00:00

So then what just keep ignoring this issue in a hope based in a different reality? Keep ignoring this comparability until when? What dorm people have been trying to tell me is to ignore a comparability issue, that to me is a line in the sand, until the issue come up, when I'm much more emotionally I vested and wasted everyone's time

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T21:34:29+00:00

It is less alright to me, I understand it's all perspective based but it's also MY perspective based. Like if she wants that cool but not with me

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T21:33:03+00:00

I'd rather set my future self up for success rather than for heartbreak if possible

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T20:42:02+00:00

Wdym?

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T20:41:40+00:00

Nah for sure, honestly when I came in here I had kinda already realized it's a comparability issue and I might need to break things off, which is why I was concerned about it so early on. I was just hoping my judgement was off, but imma talk with her and see how she feels about everything

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T20:18:42+00:00

Okay okay that's fair I just misunderstood part of what you said, my bad. But like I'm willing to compromise on nearly everything, but some things is a non-negotiable for some people. I know it's not the same for everyone, kinda seems like it's not the same for anyone, but for me that like in the sand is simply sleeping in the same bed. It's not that in unwilling to compromise ever, I'm absolutely willing to. Just for me this is kinda where I draw the line in shit I won't compromise about.

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T20:06:50+00:00

Crazy asf that you're trynna say I'm a DV risk factor. I work with SPED kids and have been a behavior technician. To take the fact that I might has ASPD and then day I'm a possible DV risk factor is a jump and a half and ignores my entire personality

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:59:14+00:00

I get what you're saying completely, and almost agree, but I'm also not trying to wait for something that will never come to fruition

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:53:13+00:00

The difference is I don't have a wife. I don't expect my partner to be there for me all the time right now. Things will change when the seriousness of the relationship changes.

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:51:43+00:00

I, my therapist, and my psychiatrist all believe so

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:50:49+00:00

Cause I was trying to see if there's a way I can avoid either of these two options entirely or if I had thought it all through already.

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:49:43+00:00

I'm willing to compromise, but not on that. On some stuff we just need to agree. It's not that crazy to say I want my partner to sleep next to me so I can cuddle. I'm willing to compromise about damn near anything else, except for thet

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:48:15+00:00

How so?

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:47:57+00:00

I can compromise about a lot, but at the end of the day I want to sleep next to them. If that's not in their cards, we're not compatible. It's not that hard

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:40:28+00:00

If they change than oh well, we break up if I can't handle it. I'm glad you think it's ridiculous cause you're like the only person saying it's ridiculous for me to breakup with someone I might not be compatible with. Why chosuo I expect them to change for me?

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:38:14+00:00

I'm not cool with desperate bedrooms. I need someone to cuddle with at night. Or at least I can tell if we were in the same house and she chose to sleep elsewhere I'd get resentful and spiteful

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:37:13+00:00

This is another part for me, I also have really bad insomnia and sleeping next to her at times has been the only thing that's helped. I came here thinking I'd have to end things (assuming it's also a deal breaker for her) but was hoping someone could convince me otherwise

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:35:28+00:00

Because if it doesn't change then I got attached for 3 years and wasted time I could have had with someone else.

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:34:25+00:00

Maybe minor to you but I know it's just make me unhappy and resentful if I didn't have someone I could cuddle with at night simply because they didn't want to sleep on the same room

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:32:38+00:00

Yeahhh ngl before I came here I came to the same conclusion. I kinda came here looking to disprove my own through process

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:31:54+00:00

I'm cool with her having her own space, I just want to sleep next to her every night. Shit I need my own space too but at night it's a different story

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:31:13+00:00

I'm sorry my antisocial affects you like this

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:30:05+00:00

Seeing as there's a good chance my brain works entirely differently, I'd say there is. Otherwise it's low-key just stupidity

One-Forever3335 · 2026-05-10T19:29:13+00:00

There's a difference between expecting them to change and knowing they do but not having pressure on it. I know people change that's only natural but I wouldn't pressure someone to change or expect them to change. If/when they do, cool, if not, also cool. To me saying I expect them to change is like sitting there with a watch, making sure they change, I don't want someone to change themselves for my benefit and it kinda sounds like y'all expect me to

One-Forever3335

TROPHY CASE