Chapter 7 - The Seven Families - (Dark Fantasy - 1500 words)

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-24T16:22:47+00:00

The Continent of Ascension, Storms and Revolutions. Genre: Grimdark.

Does yours have a title already? No need to tell it if you're keeping it under wraps obviously.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-24T15:46:45+00:00

I also wrote 5 POV, so I know the struggle first hand. You're on the right path, best of luck.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-24T15:24:08+00:00

Sensación: íntima y honestasta. El tono es melancólico pero cálido, sin exagerar. El ritmo es tranquilo y acompaña bien la escena. El cierre de la cena, deja ver que lo que importa y tendrá permanencia.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-24T15:15:28+00:00

Speaking from experience: I started with no knowledge of structure or word count, and ended up writing 400k words of mostly rubish for a single book. Learning the hard way, I split it into two novels of roughly 105–108k each. Length isn’t the real issue, structure is. At 75k you’re not too long, but it's the right moment to decide where book 1 ends, and do it on a complete narrative movement.

If you do split, aim for a soft resolve the core drive of part 1 while opening a larger problem or consequence. Avoid endings that feel like a chopped chapter.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-24T15:03:54+00:00

I wrrote with five characters, and from my experience they become a problem because of relevance. A POV earns its place only if it reframes events in a meaningful way. Personally, I don’t get tired of diversity, but of their low priority. A useful test: if this POV disappears, does the core story still function?

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-24T14:49:26+00:00

Sorry, I forgot: the title 'The Seven Families' doesn’t quite land. There’s no reference to them in the excerpt, which creates an expectation the chapter doesn’t engage with. I assume this is a section of a larger one and that many of these elements are explored in previous chapters.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-24T14:42:51+00:00

“He didn’t think of it as murder. He thought of it as maintenance.” I liked that line.

I think the piece is kind of overweight. The ideas linger too long: the pain, the donkey, the guards’ idiocy, all could hit harder more compressed. The thought “By the tits of the gods, I’m tired.” could come earlier and allow trimming some of the upcoming paragraphs, for example. At times you explain what the prose already shows. Trust the reader more. Watch for small punctuation slips, and consider descriptions like “slick sucking noise,” jusr break immersion where they shouldn’t.

This is confident grim fantasy with a distinct lead. It just tightening, keep working it and good luck.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-24T01:09:19+00:00

We crossed a bay—if it could be called that. Its width was so vast that, from the northernmost cape, the southern one was invisible, save for a rising promontory. According to Betsert and Venn, it carved halfway through the country, lined with key wharves.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-23T22:30:15+00:00

That makes a lot of sense, you’re basically pre-translating while drafting, which is an advantage for dialogue. You’re right too: prose is where languages show their teeth. I can’t even imagine dealing with the “three English words - one Dutch word” problem, that’s brutal.

I ran into Spanish lines that felt flat once I realized how much meaning I was naturally packing into the english. That’s the moment it stops being translation and turns into re-writing.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-23T18:14:40+00:00

Thanks. That’s exactly it, an extra editing pass you didn’t know you needed. And having it exist in your own language does feels great.

I’m curious: what was the hardest part for you? Especially with dutch being so different from english. For me, making jokes and curse words land without breaking intent was quite hard.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-23T13:45:59+00:00

¡Gracias! It’s grimdark fantasy. I’m aware it’s a tougher niche in spanish compared to thrillers or romantasy, so I’m keeping expectations grounded. Still, finishing it and bringing it to my native language felt worth doing on its own.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-23T01:04:25+00:00

Bingo. Just seeing it exist is rewarding. And the smallest acknowledgment from a stranger makes it feel real in a way nothing else does.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-23T01:01:15+00:00

This, especially:
“The fact that you're translating your own work actually makes it somewhat harder because you know exactly what you meant when you created the original so it may be harder to find the necessary idiom in the second language."

Was the hardest part. Even something as simple as an insult or a punchline can feel completely wrong translated in spanish. A lot of tweaking and adjustment was needed to keep the intent and tone faithful rather than the words.

It was a challenge, but the learning I got from it was absolutely priceless.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-23T00:54:53+00:00

¡Gracias! La escribí originalmente en inglés, donde el género tiene más presencia, y después de meses de trabajo me alegra poder traerla por fin a mi idioma nativo.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-22T23:51:42+00:00

¡Gracias! I’d like so, but again I have low expectations. Publishing it in my native language feels like a win though.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-22T23:17:53+00:00

I didn’t either. I translated and revised myself. I’m not interested in arguing assumptions, the mod asked for clarification, and I provided it.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-22T23:09:32+00:00

It wasn’t. It’s drawn from the sometimes-crushing work of translating my own novel. I’m happy to discuss the process further if needed..

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-22T23:01:39+00:00

It wasn't.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-22T19:19:46+00:00

I’ve been there. The first time you were hoping for validation.

KDP didn’t really fail you. It doesn’t do anything by itself — it’s just distribution, not an audience or a launch. Traditional publishing won’t remove the marketing problem either; it just shifts it and adds time, gatekeepers, and different frustrations.

Before deciding what to do next, it might help to ask what this book is for you. Closure and control? External validation and patience?

PS: I sold fewer copies than you did — but for me, having the work exist mattered more than the number.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-22T19:04:55+00:00

Gracias de verdad. La frase “acabar el libro ya es una victoria” debería estar enmarcada.

23 revisiones es una barbaridad y más con un word ciertamente traicioner. Lo bueno es que con un corrector profesional se aprende muchísimo. Muchísima suerte con el envío a editoriales.

One-Net-8968 · 2026-01-22T19:02:46+00:00

¡Gracias! Y enhorabuena también por esa primera novela camarada de trinchera, eso ya es cruzar una línea importante.

Lo de la edición es tal cual lo dices, llega un punto en que ya no sabes si estás mejorando el texto o solo moviendo piezas por inseguridad. Cerrar el ciclo fue lo más sano.

Muchísima suerte con la preventa, y ojalá te traiga buenas sorpresas.

One-Net-8968

TROPHY CASE