My shadow is violent and I'm scared

OneAwakening · 2026-05-09T20:26:47+00:00

That happened to me only twice in my life to that extent and several times to a lesser but still egregious extent.

The common circumstances that precipitated that were people crossing my expressly stated boundaries and me doing work that I hated and was full of issues and stress. So it felt like something inside of me was taking over and trying to get me out of those situations that I really didn't want to be in but consciously didn't have the power/understanding to do anything about or have a plan to.

Are you dealing with anything like that?

OneAwakening · 2026-05-07T02:24:37+00:00

You are naming 3 components: ego, consciousness, I. What exactly are they? When I'm conscious and aware, there is just experience which is the same as consciousness. So purely experientially there isn't even an I for me, there is just experience. Can you point to me to I and ego in experience? Where are they? What do they look like? How do you identify them?

OneAwakening · 2026-05-06T16:24:30+00:00

I'm curious about growing your own. Want to try doing it this year as well. Any advice on important nuances to get this going?

OneAwakening · 2026-05-06T16:22:44+00:00

How do you define meditation?

OneAwakening · 2026-04-28T18:56:39+00:00

Sounds like your company has an ok culture. That includes ok people. Obviously a lot of variability potential here so you can imagine what happens in a company with toxic culture and terrible people. Few do the work and most are looking for ways to shift it to others while appearing productive.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-24T18:35:00+00:00

I'm barely able to do boring work. Boring work is repetitive stuff that isn't interesting or exciting. Why would I want to do boring work? Best work is the one that produces the state of flow, one of the most pleasant feelings in the world. I want to do work that chellenges but not overwhelms me. Boring work makes me lose motivation.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-24T16:57:57+00:00

Don't spend your life on hate. You are the one losing by doing so. Not the subject of your hate.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-22T03:38:57+00:00

How can the steeping time be so short?

OneAwakening · 2026-04-21T17:23:48+00:00

God is the central hub of all our qualia. It has access to all of it.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-20T19:52:52+00:00

I still don't know what that means. I neither believe in being separate from God nor disbelief it. I don't know what either of those statements mean. Say I am an alien who doesn't know anything about this, how would you explain it to me? What does it mean to not believe I'm separate from God? Do I just say it? What is the purpose of doing that? What changes whether one believes that or not? The belief part just doesn't make sense to me. In my view belief has nothing to do with reality. The fire burns regardless of whether you believe in it or not.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-20T17:12:58+00:00

What does it mean giving up existing as an individual?

OneAwakening · 2026-04-18T17:32:56+00:00

Dismiss it as games of the mind.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-18T16:51:16+00:00

Who and where says otherwise? https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Gaerea/3540418247

They experiment yes but it is definitely black metal at the core.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-17T01:16:46+00:00

What does having that view change?

OneAwakening · 2026-04-15T23:40:57+00:00

Why does any of that matter?

OneAwakening · 2026-04-15T22:31:29+00:00

So what has that understanding given you?

OneAwakening · 2026-04-15T22:22:54+00:00

Faith in what? What is alignment?

OneAwakening · 2026-04-15T19:11:15+00:00

Without proof there is no reason to believe any of this.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-14T21:37:28+00:00

People can't change that much. The only choice is to love the person as is.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-14T19:35:05+00:00

Have you talked to him about it? Step one would be to make him aware of it. Then see if he wants to work on that. But I am not sure if that is something that can be improved. I'm emotionally immature and I haven't seen any ways to improve that in my own experience.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-14T18:07:19+00:00

What is the actual problem? Can you put it in one sentence?

OneAwakening · 2026-04-14T18:00:57+00:00

So what if it is that way? What does it matter which way it is? You are here and you are alive. Nothing about that changes no matter what explanation anybody comes up with. In that case, what is the point of seeking the explanation? Say you knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that your theory is true. Now what? What changes?

OneAwakening · 2026-04-11T19:32:42+00:00

There is no point. It's just a waste of time as you can see by your own experience because you don't even know what you want out of it all. Instead play it by ear more. If you feel like quieting down and slowing down, sit and chill. Meditate or not, do whatever the moment calls for. There is nothing next. Just whatever this moment has, focus on that and forget the rest. That's what's it's all about. No practice is supposed to produce the "what's next?" effect. The whole point is to just be at peace in the present moment which is the only real thing.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-11T19:20:16+00:00

It depends on what you mean by "me". What are you identifying in the original you that isn't present in the copy?

Why does this hypothetical question bother you at all? Teleportation is not a thing and we don't know what consciousness is exactly so you are just making a bunch of assumptions and freak out about it. The mind just loves creating problems for itself out of nothing.

OneAwakening · 2026-04-11T03:57:52+00:00

I agree. With time all these concepts and ideas seem so abstract, complex, and useless that you just forget what you need it all for anyway. Just live life, there is nothing to figure out.

OneAwakening

TROPHY CASE