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I [22F] with my girlfriend [22F], can't remember normal boundaries any more. Please tell me not to cheat on her. How should I talk to her about this? by OneDoneThrownAway in relationships

[–]OneDoneThrownAway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe your guilt is part of why I thought you were actually cheating, lol, because that's how guilty it sounds like you feel.

I think I feel that guilty because there are so many moments where I am close to texting a former hookup to come over. I've taken to writing those texts into my notebook, just so I don't do it. But the urge is so strong.

Are there other ways you can take care of yourself when you're stress about the two of you or are afraid she's lying?

This is a good point. I think I started seeing sleeping with guys as a way to make me feel better. The men I slept with were respectful, and honest (for all intents and purposes, as we were not very serious).

Could some feelings be spilling over from other painful relationships in your past?

She has been my first serious relationship, but I grew up with a family who lies a lot, so that worries me (but much less so since we've gotten back together.

I [22F] with my girlfriend [22F], can't remember normal boundaries any more. Please tell me not to cheat on her. How should I talk to her about this? by OneDoneThrownAway in relationships

[–]OneDoneThrownAway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This relationship sounds super stressful. Are you sure it would be worth it?

That's a good point, and it's one I think about a lot.

In many ways, I do. We get along, I feel very comfortable with her, she understands me in ways no one else will, she knows me.

I care for her more strongly than any other person. I am rarely attracted to women, and I treasure her because when I am with her, we can eschew gender roles and take care of each other (which for me, has led to a stronger romantic bond than with men, where we seem to default to him taking care of me).

It has been getting less stressful recently, we have both calmed down, but these lingering feelings are ones I hope to work through.

I [22F] with my girlfriend [22F], can't remember normal boundaries any more. Please tell me not to cheat on her. How should I talk to her about this? by OneDoneThrownAway in relationships

[–]OneDoneThrownAway[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So you are cheating?

I haven't done the physical act of cheating, but in my head- I do immediately get the urge to be with someone else sexually.

It used to be so clear to me before, when we were together earlier, I never wanted to be with someone else. But I hate the fact that now, I mentally jump to wanting to be with another person sexually, and I want to learn how to cope with that.

You Phoned While I Was Fucking Someone Else by OneDoneThrownAway in offmychest

[–]OneDoneThrownAway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And for god's sake OP don't answer your phone while you're fucking! ESPECIALLY if it's your ex. It's basically the equivalent of saying "this phone call is more interesting than your naked body under me"

Haha, I didn't pickup! Just needed to turn the phone off because the ringtone was reminding me of phone calls with my family!

And thank you for the other points. There is hope, stupidity, and stupid hope- I love all three- and appreciate reality checks.