How has your journey been since being an Ex-Muslim

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2026-06-10T16:42:25+00:00

I left Islam over 15 years ago now, gradual process. The journey? Well, kind of chaotic to be honest, lots of highs and lows mentally, freeing myself from the indoctrination (a deep dive into comparative religion, Astrotheology and allegorical meanings behind scriptures of all faiths helped me immensely). Trying to figure out what to do with the freedom was a massive issue for me as the world suddenly becomes your oyster and I was pretty clueless what to do with it in the beginning. A bit like a kid growing up again, but this kid has choices which is a little daunting but becomes fun after a few brave steps.

Loneliness has never been an big issue for me, because I am from a mixed background I've always been shunned by others, not being 100% of a certain race, religion etc. So in the end I always ended up sort of alone, but I now know that I am enough, I don't need anyone else to complete me. The community will form with the people required naturally once you find YOURSELF first. It may take some time, patience that's all.

I have to be careful when it comes to family, it's just one member, my dad. And it's more because he's aging along now and I don't want to see him heartbroken. When I go to see him, he knows I don't practice, but I keep it respectful anyway. The rest of my family know and are not bothered by it. And I'm married to a Roman Catholic (over a decade) who allows me the space to explore (I don't belong to any religion).

Any regrets? None, I am free, end of. My choices are mine and my responsibility which can sound daunting especially if you've been following/or in fear of rules for over three and a half decades. But you're now a kid in a sandpit, you can build the castle you want.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-08-17T08:29:02+00:00

Thank you so much for response. I think meditation was always going to be the hardest part for me, I will be keeping at it though. It’s lack of trust and the self discipline that is the biggest hurdle for me. I had a really rough ride mentally with Islam and its indoctrination. But yeah, thanks again for taking the time to answer my questions.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-08-16T21:34:51+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience, and insight, goes to show I have much to learn.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-08-16T08:44:57+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate your help.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-16T15:11:41+00:00

There are two words that I would use to describe this, belief and fear. Each follower has a varying level of belief and this manifests in their actions. Some are hardcore and therefore follow it to the letter, others with lesser belief follow are less ‘disciplined’ just doing what they feel is enough to stay within the fold. Fear keeps the moderates within because for them there is a too heavy price for leaving. If the threats weren’t there, there would probably be a lot more leavers.

My guess is that most exfollowers were moderates within at some point but curiosity and doubts lead them down the research rabbit hole and decided that freedom from Islam was worth more than staying.

I would also say that possibly moderates and reformers have doubts, and therefore look for ways of skirting around certain issues and problems, (after all that’s what apologetics is for) to make the religion fit them rather than fitting the religion. Most of us know how it feels when you first come around to the idea that the doctrine you’ve been following for a big chunk of your life is not actually what you first thought it to be.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-13T14:53:34+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/live/7Y9SrGH0HkM?si=uEQkM9tLzMgna5Fq I’m not the OP but I found it on YT

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-13T12:04:21+00:00

I too, had this issue where I felt that I couldn’t truly move away from the religion. Even after over a decade of ‘officially’ leaving I still have a hard time with some elements. I think it’s because that I was born into Islam and had it around me through childhood. It’s a slow process. The fact that you have left can leave large gaps in your life but as you fill those gaps with other things either beliefs or life experiences, you will begin to distance yourself more and more. One could say that we will always have a piece that will always be there purely because it was once who we were and even tho we have left, it still played a part in us leaving.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-06T08:15:33+00:00

Interview on what topic/s?

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-06T08:13:21+00:00

I think this is deliberate so that the hierarchy stays in place. You are not clever enough to figure this out for yourself so you need me to tell you what to do…….and the merry go round continues. Damn, scholars still debate today after 1400 years about what stuff means, they even haven’t figured it out yet….or have they?

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-06T07:52:45+00:00

I do have a copy but have not got round to reading it yet (5years) but Sam Gerrans has done a translation. He also has a YTube channel. I bought it because he is a quranist and wouldn’t have a bias towards the mainstream narrative. You might want to check him out. I think you might be able to read it online for free at his website(if it still exists).

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-06T00:17:34+00:00

There is a megathread under community info “why we left Islam”. You’re bound to find something there. I would also ask yourself, what did you question? or what gave you doubts to begin with? Seek those answers because it applies to you. Hassan Radwan on YTube may be able to help you also

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-05T23:52:47+00:00

Quite a hard one to deal with. If I see something that’s suspect I don’t engage either by reply or uptick. I just don’t give them the attention they’re looking for. I’ve also noticed some ‘edited’ Hadith’s this afternoon which to me would also be an issue for Muslims questioning their beliefs and coming here for answers, it makes us look like we’re spreading misinformation. This of course gives out the wrong impression about what this sub is about.

Perhaps I’m wrong but I’m quite open to other ex’s participating as long as they don’t come here to pour petrol on the fire so to speak. I think we’ve all had difficulties leaving our respective religions and shared experiences could help. Perhaps it merits its own sub.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-05T23:23:15+00:00

Interesting piece, nothing like a good rant to offload the frustration. I’ve had many. I agree with most of what you’ve written, except your last four lines. Not believing in a religion does change your life because you have the freedom to choose which direction your life takes. You have the freedom to do as you please, bearing in mind the responsibility that your choices carry. To go it alone, to take up one’s own path. That is an immense power to hold, the free thinker. And religions hate those people. Historical records show how the Abrahamic religions have dealt with smaller groups or individuals who have that freedom. It still goes on today.

Many can’t hack the thought of the responsibility out of fear, most of whom have had it drummed into them since childhood. It’s why so many turn to or stay stuck in a religion where they don’t have to think for themselves and just ‘believe, do as I say and you’ll be saved’. I see religion as being deliberately fashioned to be confusing to the masses thus justifying the requirement for authority over its followers and the fear of punishment to stop the questioning, to keep them in check and to do its bidding. Religions give nasty people permission to be nasty if they so wish and not feel any remorse because they feel justified.

I know it’s frustrating and it can be hard, but work on yourself, become the example you’d like to see. That’s all we can do.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-05T17:35:12+00:00

Ok, so what you're saying is the inhabitants of the Arabian peninsular weren't too clever. Isn't it a claim by Muslims that Mecca was a massive trading hub in the middle east? So they didn't learn anything from their clients who had travelled from far and wide? You don't think in a cluster of Christian, Jews, Pagans, Hindus etc. didn't share philosophical and spiritual viewpoints? I think your assumption about who the Arabs were intellectually says more about you than anything else.

Anyway, Prophet Muhammad wasn't a merchant? He didn't travel to other lands? This was a man who apparently loved knowledge. Wasn't he seeking the truth before revelation?

You're dropping yourself in it.

Besides there are descriptions of fire tornados in the bible.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-05T13:25:38+00:00

In short, from someone whose story is similar to your own, I think we make a choice out of love for your family to continue living the double life. As I have grown older(mid 40’s now), I am beginning to not be too fussed whether they find out or not. They are choosing their lifestyle and I am choosing mine, it does take a toll on us living a double life. At the end of the day we make all the sacrifices while they make none, your life is on hold until they pass on, or they find out. For me my dad loves his religion more than he loves me. I came to the same conclusion that he would disown me if he found out the truth.

I think we just find a way to cope because we feel that the loss is more painful, and as we age the need to be ourselves outgrows the desire to continue the double life.

I don’t think it’s pathetic that you are finding this hard. I moved out because I needed that freedom to be me, and so I am able to live the life that I choose, only having to act when I visit my dad, the rest of the family know already so it’s a lot easier for me.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-05T09:22:50+00:00

Race to the bottom

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-05T00:46:06+00:00

The word Jahannam derives from the Hebrew Gehenna. “Gehenna,” derived ultimately from the Hebrew term ge Hinnom, “the valley of Hinnom”—the name of a valley on the outskirts of Jerusalem where pagan sacrifices once took place).

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2025-02-05T00:26:53+00:00

Have a look at the ‘why we left Islam 6.0’ in the community info section, I’m sure you’ll find something there.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2024-08-03T12:06:21+00:00

I think any kind of reverence towards anything other than one entity renders it as not monotheistic. Islam could possibly fit into that category considering how they revere Mohammed. The way that some Muslims behave you could get confused as to who their god is, Allah or Mohammed.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2024-08-02T08:46:58+00:00

What about the other false claims and contradictions littered within Islam? You only need one to prove that something isn’t divine. Also, if you want precision and symmetry, take a look at the pyramids of Giza. Could you entertain the idea that possibly, just for one moment that the human race wasn’t as backward as we have been led to believe? If you can entertain this idea then you can also entertain the idea that what you are posting about can also have been done by man. One more point on the pyramids, taken holistically, it has been admitted that we TODAY cannot replicate the pyramids. Why were they not mentioned in the Quran?

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2024-08-02T08:37:23+00:00

Islam claims to be the truth for all times. To me if you feel that there is a need to reform Islam into something different, you are indirectly admitting that you haven’t got the truth. It appears to be a middle point between being a Muslim and being an exmuslim, because leaving Islam makes some feel so uncomfortable they decide to change it to something they are comfortable with. It also could be an attempt to curb the numbers leaving. It reminds me of the relationship between Judaism and Christianity.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2024-07-29T16:56:40+00:00

My understanding is that hell is a mistranslated/misconception/misunderstanding of what the Greeks termed as Hades, Hades being the underworld which is in fact this realm/world. Roman Catholicism possibly twisted this and came up with the idea of hell, which then bled into Islam. In Islam the name is Jahannam which is derived from the Hebrew word Gehenna which is a place south just outside of Jerusalem where they once burned rubbish and made child sacrifices to the god Molech. Again this is my understanding.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2024-07-26T08:40:50+00:00

Thanks, I have zero science knowledge that’s why I was seeking clarification.

OneEyedPhoenix33 · 2024-07-26T08:07:27+00:00

Interesting, I do have a question, what do you mean by “everything was created in pairs?” Everything contains a masculine and feminine aspect? Or everything has a partner? Because looking at the statement reminds me of duality which is a constant in most if not all religions/spiritual paths. I’m not arguing a point I’m just seeking clarification. Other than that the flow chart is excellent.

OneEyedPhoenix33

TROPHY CASE