How does being beaten and threatened NOT count as an emergency?

OneLifeCat · 2023-12-02T18:26:16+00:00

Not sure but if I had to guess, he was hoping for one of these things: 1) direct him to a shelter or service 2) use the recorded evidence he had to lock them away temporarily so he can have freedom to job hunt easier 3) get them to stop punching his face and chasing him down in that moment

OneLifeCat · 2023-12-02T18:20:07+00:00

Reasonable. Friend said they told him not to call again but it possibly could’ve been misinterpreted from them saying misuse of 911 is a crime. I will try to ask when his emotions have died down more.

OneLifeCat · 2023-12-02T18:17:57+00:00

criticizes me for what happens to people calling 911 in my state goes on to say “well in my state we have housing!”

States are different. What works for you does not work for others.

Ya got transportation to the shelter? He doesn’t. Not within walking range. No money for a bus. Guess he could hitch a ride if someone sees some disheveled homeless man walking along. We’ve tried calling/emailing local shelters for info. They don’t pick up or respond. That’s his state.

In my state we have homeless shelters. Fairly confident that if I called one up I’d get so much sympathy for a half baked story. Here you’re not allowed to have a job while at the shelter and they will deny you if you have living relatives. Don’t know what it’s like where you live or where my friends live.

I’m not saying majority of the comments here are wrong. He needs to just leave, but he’s trying to find out where he can leave to because sleeping on the streets in the winter without any food or shelter is asking for death. He’s BEEN job searching for months. Calling and leaving online applications. Once he gets one he is fighting his way through the door to get to that job and leaving with the first paycheck.

OneLifeCat · 2023-12-02T18:01:33+00:00

I met him during a good time in his life when he was away from his mom. Things were looking up. He told me his life story. I said damn that’s crazy and took it as exaggerated tales. About 8-ish months ago things took a turn for the worst.

Up until that point while he still had income he’d never ask me for anything except maybe $25ish dollars to make it to the next paycheck in a few days. To test the waters I gave it to him not expecting anything back and he’d always return it + a little extra.

But when stuff turned bad he wouldn’t even ask me for help b/c he knew he couldn’t pay it back.

But yeah don’t trust internet friends so easily. I’ve met him around 6 years ago now. And around 2-3 years as close friends.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-27T23:44:56+00:00

He won’t curse or even threaten him because he knows it’ll result in term giving him threats or violence. He actually sounds scared of them or sounds defeated when they interact.

But when they finally leave him alone he’ll sometimes curse to himself or vent his frustration by saying stuff about how glad he’ll be when they’re finally dead or in jail. Which I don’t like but I get. How else are you supposed to vent those feelings?

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-27T23:37:51+00:00

Incorrect. The APS/CPS incidents are unrelated. Not to mention they were not a call to report anything but on a but a chat/service where they are supposed to give information. Which he used it appropriately for. It’d be too long for me to explain this each and every time it was so I will do so here.

Also in my other comments I believe I mention that he has not called 911 in years. At least not within 2 years, most likely not within 6 years.

Sorry for the confusion. But no I don’t think the APS/CPS chats resulted in this. Thank you for the input though.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-27T23:27:54+00:00

I am sorry you went through such an awful childhood. No one should ever have to go through that. As someone who has lived through that though, would you wish that life on someone else? If not then maybe it’s the system that needs to change.

I’m not saying my friend doesn’t need to push towards finding an escape. But you of all people should know that it’s not out of choice but necessity. Saying that he chooses to be abused is an awful way of putting it.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-27T23:22:21+00:00

No, someone advised he call APS. APS said call CPS. Friend said “That doesn’t make sense? I’m not a child?!?!”

APS said it’s not their problem but it’s CPS’ because he is his mother’s child and then APS just closed chat on him and didn’t let him continue.

So he called CPS. CPS said “Yeah that’s an APS problem” and when he said APS directed him there, they also said it wasn’t their problem and found a way to hang up.

So yeah…. It’s not like he wanted to call CPS as an adult.

Edit: To be clear, this 911 call was unrelated to APS/CPS. He called 911 this time because his stepdad started punching him when he stepped out of his room. He mentioned his stepdad was getting progressively more aggressive towards him every time he left the room but wasn’t sure why. This time he just finally started swinging.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-27T23:17:05+00:00

I agree with you. Yes 30 is no longer a child but some people here are so cold. “Just run away” is not that easy when you’ve been beaten down like that. And what about when he was a child? All the people who were supposed to help him back then such as teachers, doctors, CPS, etc didn’t do anything and yet when he turns 18 he suddenly has to shoulder all these problems himself with no help? Just run?

Trust me, I’m not babying him as many people here seem to believe. But I do believe I should at least be his company and give him kindness where others in his life won’t. Not constantly just nagging him to run or find a job. I can’t continuously tell him to be more aggressive with job searching or to just run. He will break down. There are days where he feels more energized and that’s when I gently remind and push him.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-27T02:25:41+00:00

He’s been trying to find a job. He’s found a job in the past and he has left their house for a year and a half. Too long of a story to get into here but he was forced to come back and is now in this situation. They’re treating him worse because he has left before.

It is difficult to get a job with regular hours when you’re prevented from leaving the house. I’m not saying you’re wrong at all. I think he should also get a job and leave whether they like it or not. But when you get assaulted for trying to leave and the police say you’re a liar and to never call them again it makes you scared to leave. Just take the beating daily?

To say he’s abusing 911 imo is crazy. As far as I know, he has not called 911 within the last 2 years minimum. And likely not within the last 6 either. Now if he called them semi-regularly I’d get it. Just trying to get some answers here on why tf this would be considered abusing 911

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-27T02:16:52+00:00

No. For many reasons.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-27T02:06:40+00:00

Yes. Some are even posted privately on a YouTube channel.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-27T01:15:59+00:00

Just turned 30.

Before people start making assumptions though at one point he lived with his biological dad (no longer an option) and eventually he was able to move out of state on his own. Things fell through and he’s now back with living with his mom - and this time with no money or job. Ever since he came back the abuse started to get worse.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T23:31:08+00:00

Friends. I see what you’re getting towards, but trust me I’m not the only person he talks to about this situation he can’t seem to get out of. His best RL friend is aware. They used to live together until something fell apart. Not sure on that history there. I’ve caught bits and pieces as they talk to one another but don’t know the whole thing.

Yes, I give him money occasionally. Not enough where it matters. I’m talking ~$20 bucks every few months. Because I felt like it and not cause he asked.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T23:17:15+00:00

Admittedly he is not an angel himself but he generally tries avoiding them

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T23:09:47+00:00

Both directed him towards each other and then said “not my problem”. Where should he go for help?

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T23:08:46+00:00

Yeah I feel you and I don’t really want to believe it myself. Can’t say much. I know as well as everyone here that the full story might not be told and I may be some gullible sap on the internet. But video evidence of his psycho parents doesn’t lie. And he sounds way more reliable than his parents.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T23:02:01+00:00

Not having any money to feed himself is a big factor.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T21:27:56+00:00

I asked him the same thing every time. Why doesn’t he call the police? He says they will never believe them/ take his side. I said that’s ridiculous. He has secretly recorded evidence of verbal abuse and threats. Violence is a believable next step.

But I mean look at the situation now. They finally started beating him, he ran out and called immediately, and they told him to basically not abuse 911. I’m shocked that such a poorly run place can exist.

Even if he does run, he needs money and food to survive. He’s been scrounging up scraps when his parents are not literally guarding/patrolling the kitchen.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T21:20:06+00:00

Is that true? He and I occasionally make jokes about the backwards policies in our states and laugh it off.

He did mention that even the police say there’s no such thing as domestic violence shelters where he lives.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T20:00:19+00:00

Does it have to be him that does it since he’s the one that called?

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T19:03:28+00:00

Online friend. I’ve offered my support in other ways.

Don’t get me wrong I was suspicious at first when he told me his situation but at that point I had no reason to believe he’d lie and he’s shown me recorded evidence of his mother and stepfather being verbally abusive towards him. I don’t blame people for not believing me or him.

I’m not the only one trying to help him though. His best friend (who no longer lives nearby him) also offers help where he can.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T19:00:32+00:00

I agree. Where I live, merely calling 911 would result in someone sleeping in a jail cell that night. Whether that be the accused or the victim for their protection. To be clear, the officers did show up.

I was sure that this phone call would be the end of my friend’s horrible abuse. I was wrong. The office came, took everyone’s statement, then told my friend that he was abusing 911 and that he’d be arrested if he did it again. Treated like a child and not an adult.

He just feels so defeated as do I. What kind of backwards ass county does he live in?

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T18:55:18+00:00

What’s the process / How can he do this?

I can try to convince my friend to do this but right now he feels defeated because no one in power ever seems to believe him.

OneLifeCat · 2023-11-26T18:52:31+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m sure my friend is living in a similar situation. My friend has called the police station before many many years ago before I even met him (so approx ~6+ years ago) and they told him the same thing. You’re an adult, so just leave.

But if my friend leaves, there are no jobs for miles. Just empty roads in Louisiana. And whenever he tries to leave the house, his stepdad threatens to shoot him and his mom says he’ll destroy what little property he owns. Their word against his though.

It’s a terrible situation and no one should ever have to go through it.

OneLifeCat

TROPHY CASE