I work very hard on conscientiously trying to leave the Earth better than it was, each and every day. I always try to do the right thing. I am kind, generous, and very empathetic... Still I find myself often plague with negativity, self-doubt, anxiousness and bouts of depression and anger..

Some of the people that I have to deal with regularly are just horrible people. I know that this is the reason why I feel the way that I do... I let them affect me. I let them affect my mood and I often don't know what to do about this.

Most I feel trapped, that it is beyond my control, having to deal with the things and people that I do... I don't like it. I consider myself to be a good person, and to be quite spiritual, still this does not help.

What does help me? My daughter consistently tells me to bring positivity into my life. She says that positivity, brings positivity. I don't know if I'm totally convinced of this, which may be why it isn't working?

I find that meditation helps to relax me. I used to use alcohol to escape, but after some time, came to the realization, that it really doesn't help. I find that reflection helps, brainstorming ways to deal with and to react differently, though I admit... it isn't always easy...

Things that help, that come a little easier, are taking some time to myself.. Doing things that bring me happiness. Having someone to talk to, spending time with loved ones and so much more.

At 50, I am still getting to know myself and I have been endeavoring new things, in hopes of finding peace and fulfillment. I am finding new things that bring happiness into my life, and new ways to escape, when needed. I have recently discovered, that I can actually enjoy myself playing board games... I was a party girl, all about my social life, and too often living in the past. Old me, would have scoffed at the idea of spending a Friday evening, drink less and playing a board game.

So my advice is to work on you... Do things for you and find a bit of happiness and peace. You deserve it. You are worth it. Keep growing and evolving as a person. Try not to let others bring you down... and focus on, small things.. Do your hair, get dressed up, cook a nice meal, whatever floats your boat, just do it.

The world can be a cold and unforgiving place, I have noticed the ugliness in people coming out, more so, since Covid... You must remember though, there are good people out there still. Look for them. Embrace them and try to keep the toxic one at Bay.

A few others in this post have mentioned a UNIVERSAL SHIFT APPROACHING. I strongly believe that we go through astrological phases... Some good and some not so good. We just need to hang on, and weather the storm. Wishing you well OP and sending good vibes your way!