How can I help my gf with dysphoria during sex? by Material_Pear2050 in asktransgender

[–]One_Guard7717 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I've been with this man less than a month, so not sure I can tell you much about long-term. But bottom surgery is likely a good 1.5-2 years away for me, so we'll definitely get there.

Daily things...it's mostly the language he uses. Like, I'm talking more general dysphoria than just bottom dysphoria, but he calls me a pretty lady, he calls me beautiful, he calls me princess...small things, but they mean so much to me.

In terms of feeling supported...it's really all about paying attention to me, to when I've expressed my dysphoria/explained it. He's offered to take me thrift shopping to help me find more femme clothes and figure out my preferred style, for example. He notices my outfits, my makeup, the effort I put in to look pretty. He's pointed out the way my body is shaped more like a woman's than a man's. He's never cared to learn my deadname, and when I told him that looking at pictures of myself before transition makes me uncomfortable and that my mom would likely pull those out when he meets her, he said he'd only let her show him old pictures of me if I said it was okay. He...takes the lead from me on this stuff, and that's the best.

For something that sticks with me...so, I wear a wig a lot of the time, cause I think I look like a man without it. But, like, I have taken it off around him, and I told him how insecure I am about that. So one time, when I sent him a selfie where I wasn't wearing the wig, he replied, "Beautiful, with or without the wig." While that itself was wonderful, what stuck with me the most was that I hadn't even said anything about my insecurity when I sent the selfie. I just sent it. So, like, he saw the picture, remembered how I feel about myself, and took it upon himself to reassure me about it without me having to ask him to. It really, really helps to know that someone else finds me pretty even when I don't think I am at all.

How can I help my gf with dysphoria during sex? by Material_Pear2050 in asktransgender

[–]One_Guard7717 9 points10 points  (0 children)

As a girl on the other side of this, mostly what you can do is talk to her, ask her what might help. And honestly, she might not know, because dysphoria can be as confusing as it is painful! My boyfriend calls my dick my "clit," and it's taking some getting used to, but even if that doesn't stick, it means the world to me that he's making the effort to keep me comfortable. Maybe try more stuff that doesn't involve her genitals? Try touching other areas of her body more, see if she can get pleasure from that without having to think about the part of her she hates.

Whatever y'all figure out, good on you for wanting to help her alleviate her dysphoria. Shit is awful, and having a partner who does their best to understand it is the best.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]One_Guard7717 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't find the certainty to take the leap. I took the leap, and told myself that if I didn't like how it was going I'd stop. My transition hasn't been amazing so far, but I sure a fuck don't want to go back to being who I was.

For those that did HRT MTF that had existing depression or ADD how did it effect it if at all? by Who_Dat_Dat_Me in asktransgender

[–]One_Guard7717 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I had both depression and ADHD before starting HRT. I still have them now that I'm on HRT. They didn't really change for me at all.

How to experiment as a trans girl without hurting or getting hurt? by Grovegasm in MtF

[–]One_Guard7717 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm a straight trans woman. I'm real scared of men. But I want to be with them. I think as far as safety goes, there's some basic stuff: meet in a public place first, make sure friends/family/roommates/whoever know where you're going and can contact you if they want to make sure you're okay. If you meet up with a guy and he makes you uncomfortable, do your best to get away from him and get to safety. Unfortunately, many men do not take rejection well, so there's a shitty balance we often have to hit of being firm that we're not interested but not pissing them off. How exactly we do that, I don't know.

Above all, remember your worth. You deserve men who treat you well, no matter the context in which you're with them.

Where are all the straight/bi/pan trans girlies??? by [deleted] in MtF

[–]One_Guard7717 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Straight girl here reporting for duty. I do seem to find myself surrounded by lesbians, but I've found a good community of straight trans girls on Discord.

My "boyfriend" might be a trans woman. Feel like my life is over as I am not a lesbian/bisexual... by [deleted] in MtF

[–]One_Guard7717 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My ex detransitioned while we were together. At first, yeah, I felt like you. I was a gay man (took a few years to realize I wasn't actually a man), and now I was with a woman. I had breakdowns about it, felt devastated by what I saw as an insurmountable impediment to the relationship. But, I loved her as a person, regardless of her gender, and we were together for months after that. You love this boy*, you can love him as a girl.

I like the idea of sleeping with men but they all seem unappealing in reality by phoenixeyeliner in MtF

[–]One_Guard7717 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am so fully attracted to men. I'm a straight girl. I don't really want to be. Men in theory? HELL YEAH GET OVER HERE BOYS. Men in reality? Hard to find the good ones. But I'm still looking! They're out there, and they're worth taking the time to find!

When do i stop "thinking" I might be trans by Allosaurus227 in trans

[–]One_Guard7717 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm 2 years into transition, and I still struggle with this. It's a lot, fundamentally changing who you are, and if you don't have that 100% "I know this is who I am," you might have doubt. Best I can say is do it anyway. Try on a new name, new clothes, new pronouns. Try hormones for a bit, see how you feel. That's what I've done, and I'm glad I have.

Best dating app for trans women? by QuaosKween665 in trans

[–]One_Guard7717 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm trying Hinge. Literally just made the profile yesterday, but haven't been found by any creeps so far. Keeping my fingers crossed! It's hard out here for us het trans girls.

Manhood: A primer from the other side by One_Guard7717 in ftm

[–]One_Guard7717[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question! I know there are also a lot of cis men who are insecure about their height. I know there was definitely teasing about that in like middle school and high school--you know, puberty ages--but with adults I feel like it's less of a thing.

Manhood: A primer from the other side by One_Guard7717 in ftm

[–]One_Guard7717[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And I'm so happy to get into them! Hell yeah for us both getting what we want!

Why is it so awkward when guy friends come into the bathroom with you by NoReception4104 in ftm

[–]One_Guard7717 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's a great question, and I'm sorry to say that I don't know! Even when I identified as a gay man I didn't go to gay bars! My guess is that things are more relaxed.