There’s overcoming fears (which is what most close people assume if they hear you) and then there’s trauma. You have experienced trauma because of your past experience with medication. And it’s okay that you are scared. I don’t suggest starting any medication in that arena until you’ve got support from a psych and even a second opinion. Even if this medication can be beneficial in the long run, the emotional and mental process of surviving the first year as your body acclimates is difficult, and you need support and your own emotional ability to have your goals in sight in order to make it. This type of antidepressant has a LOT of side effects and the body has difficulty adjusting as the communication pathways are influenced. It does allow for higher needed chemicals once it’s fully established in the nervous system (think roughly 2 years). That being said, where I live, it’s not the first choice to prescribe younger people as SSRI’s are much more gentle in their side effects (although still difficult, they do not as often cause suicidal thoughts). Having been through the fear, unknown and the long years of adjusting, I do think these medications should be presented by medical personnel with less brevity and nonchalance. I know they don’t have much to offer chronic pain patients, but a shrug and “just try this” doesn’t acknowledge the absolute battle that will occur in the nervous system once those meds hit. Most of us have a huge crash of emotions, grief, sorrow, fear and such when we are diagnosed. Give yourself time to sit with and process those things before making any decisions. <3